We are both in our 60s & have been together for 27years. My husband has always had prostatitis (causes pain & urinary frequency) but it never got in the way of a very mutually happy sex life. For about the last 10-15 years however he has found every reason possible (tired, a cold, etcetc) to avoid having sex, despite obviously really loving me. I have tried everything I can think of to encourage him & to get a proper answer, because horribly it so often has felt like excuses. Of COURSE I completely understand if he is really unwell , but it just hasn’t rung true . I have wondered about affairs/ having gay crushes/ whether I am fat & ugly … you name it. He hasnt been willing to go to the Dr about his testosterone levels (& lied about it the first time) but has normal levels. Ive been so frustrated at empty promises of ‘we will at the weekend’ etc etc. He doesn’t have ED.
I have resorted to a vibrator when I cant stand it anymore because he wont even touch me - I should add that the last few times (I dont even know how long ago) he was prepared to touch me but not penetrate.
I dont know what is worse; I was kind of hoping I would stop caring about it, but recently he has gone from one medical problem to another & I find myself not fancying him & my libido really decreased- trouble is of course now he keeps wanting to kiss me and be reassured that I love him.
We have recently (yet again) discussed it & he just says oh it’s been the prostatitis & thinks that ‘at some point’ we will have sex again.
My main problem now is after being pushed away for so long & feeling like a toy being taken in & out of the cupboard I feel so unhappy- but in a different way I suppose because Im worn down by it.
Can anyone relate? More importantly can anyone offer any advice.?
