´blind’ date

I make and sell artwork - I give random strangers my phone number all the time! I deliver artwork to people’s houses too, go to stranger’s houses to collect stuff from Freegle and give other Freeglers my address for collection!

I don’t think I consider it strange, as for decades I gave out my business cards complete with my phone number. This sounds like a rather over enthusiastic bloke trying to help a friend - perhaps she has mentioned the fact that she never gets to speak to anyone that she shares a background with?

You know exactly how to find this person in the very unlikely event that you need to. You know that at least you’ll have something to talk about - in French!

BlueBelle

4allweknow

You are meeting with a married woman. The relationship, if any, will be as a friend. If you have an instant dislike to her a simple it was good to meet you and have an opportunity to speak french over a coffee. Must go, family commitments, they take precedence over having friends afraid.

4Allweknow how do you know she’s meeting a married women so far the only communication she’s had is a nice text after giving her phone number to a complete male stranger !!!

He's not a complete male stranger, he's a grandparent who she was chatting to at their grandchildrens' playgroup.

You're meeting in public and it doesn't sound at all strange to me - maybe friend's wife has mentioned to him how nice it is to meet another native french speaker sometimes & he was being kind.

I know we have to be vigilant in these social media days but if it was 30 years ago, would this have sounded suspicious to you?Metting at a coffee shop in the v remote possibility she's not who you've been led to expect, just go to the counter & explain - nothing unsafe about it.

Go & see how much you've got in common, don't feel rude if you don't want to meet again, don't feel pushy if you do - good advice on the social cues from other posters.

Notjustaprettyface

You don't say if you're male or female.

If the former, I think that maybe you shouldn't be entertaining a lady whom you know is married.
.

Is it a sin or crime to have coffee with a member of the opposite sex who is married? Have you ever done that?
I used to have a male bridge partner and when I went to the ladies in the break the others asked him what had happened to my husband( who doesn't play bridge.)

Notjustaprettyface

Thank you but isn’t it a bit rude to just leave at the end and say it’s been nice meeting you and no more ?

More than a bit rude, is an older male stranger asking a younger woman for her phone number because he has decided to introduce her to a third party she's never met.

Older man with younger woman? They are both grandparents.

I am confused. Is this blind date with a married woman?
If so I think the OP has a bit more to worry about than just making the right impression.

I’m wondering if this is real?

This seems very odd to me. Just because he is a GP at the playground is not evidence he is a decent guy! It is very strange that a man should initiate a meeting between you and his friends wife just because you are both French!!
Be careful.

On second thoughts - cancel.

I cannot imagine why you went along with this in the first place French or not French. I am not born English but there is no way I would allow a stranger to arrange a meeting for me with another countrywomen as much as I like to speak with the ones I naturally come across. It does not sound right to me at all!!

I agree win, it most certainly does not sound right . Is this genuine !?

Maybe this is just clumsily put but
and he decided he was going to introduce us by text
He, a total stranger, decided he was going to introduce you by text to some unknown friends relative ???
Of course he may be genuinely trying to help a ‘friend’ but doesn’t it seem odd to you notjustaprettyface It does to me very, very odd

In your position I would have said ‘Give me her phone number and I ll see if we can arrange something’ that puts you in charge of the whole situation, you could have thought about it
and not gone ahead or you could have spoken to her before

The fact ‘she’ sent a text why didn’t she ring you that way you could have heard she was a woman you have no idea if that ‘nice’ text came from a man or a woman
Hopefully I m wrong and it’s all just a man trying to be helpful but I would not have given my number out to a stranger, a man youve never seen before

Anyway Friday has been and gone tell me I was wrong and you had a lovely coffee with a nice lady and you chatted in French and it was delightful

Hello everyone
Just an update for you
I am female btw and I went to my blind date with fellow countrywoman
We got on like a house on fire
It was lovely to speak French again and as I am lonely because my husband is in a care home , I hope I have made a new friend
We are going to meet again soon for a walk then coffee
Thank you all for your advice, encouragement, kind words etc

That’s brilliant I m glad it was genuine and we er all over zealous in our ‘phone number handing out activities’
How lovely that you had a good time
I d still do it the other way round and contact them not give my phone number to a stranger but this time all was good and it paid off
Well done

How lovely that you may have made a new friend and it must be nice to be able to chat in your mother tongue x

I’m glad it went well notjustaprettyface and I hope it’s boosted your confidence as well as gaining you some company and a new friend.

Very pleased for you, no doubt your new friend will be as pleased as you are. I know my mum and her new friend that I had chatted to on a station platform were very pleased that I suggested they meet, and they stayed friends til the end of their lives.

Lovely news! I am so pleased it went well.

Well done Notjustaprettyface. You must feel really pleased you were brave enough to meet up with a complete stranger for coffee. I hope your new friendship goes from strength to strength. Seems like the gentleman you met at your grandson's playgroup may deserve a 'thank you'.
I fully understand why some Gransnetters were anxious on your behalf as sadly, in this day and age, it is difficult to accept people at face value. There are so many conmen about.

Excellent outcome notjustaprettyface - delighted for you!

I wonder what all the doom- mongers and naysayers are thinking now?
Probably expecting you to have ended up trafficked to N Africa as a white slave 🤣🤣🤣

I would combine the positive and negative aspects of your responses. For me , anyone I choose to meet will be at a Cafe Nero, as around me they are usually busy enough at all times of the day to be very safe, yet at the same time have spaced out seating to allow you to have a more private conversation. Secondly , they know me quite well at the various local cafes, as do quite a lot of the other customers, regular dog walkers and shoppers, so I definitely feel in control of the situation. this means that I can be very welcoming and pleasant and my body language no doubt will show this. If I enjoy the meeting I will suggest a return to the same place , perhaps a week or two 's time. This way once again, you will feel at ease in a familiar place that is where you feel comfortable and so your natural self. Then you are spacing out time to see how you feel and trust yourself to know if it feels right to meet her again. That way, you have all the options. taking it slowly .If it doesnt feel right dont offer another meeting. Should she come again of her own accord , knowing it is the coffee shop you use, well there will be plenty of other people about. Then you could be polite and wish her good morning or whatever , but then explain that you are either with other people, or perhaps you are just leaving for an appointment. So you are not available to be with her but have greeted her in a decent way.

I'm pleased it all worked out, but am not surprised. I wasn't sure whether it was a 'date' in the romantic sense, in which case I would advise meeting in a very public place, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with giving out my phone number. What do people think could happen? If someone contacts you and you don't like them you can block them from doing it again. It's not giving them a key to your front door.

To me, the man asking for the number to pass on was behaving properly. It is not good etiquette to give out others' numbers, so his passing on the other number would have been out of line.

Friends are just strangers we haven't met yet. I wouldn't ask a stranger to my home unless others were present, but I do have people (male and female) here as part of various groups I belong to, and it is very usual for people to share numbers before their first meeting, in case they can't find the house or can't make it at the last minute. I don't understand the concerns.

So happy to hear the update!

That’s a pretty sarcastic post RosieandherMaw I was neither a doom monger or naysayer however I would be cautious to hand my phone number to a complete male stranger out of the blue
If I had met the French lady myself had a chat and arranged a meeting that’s fine I ve made many good friends through accidental meetings but a stranger male with a story… I would have been more cautious
Anyway I m glad it all turned out well