Wife on dating sites

I don't think waiting yill retirement will help.
It is scary to start again but you can do it.

Maybe consider couples counselling- if she isn't interested in making changes, sadly I think you must...

Affairs are painful and she is already having one "in her mind".
In many ways I think this is worse.

Thinking of you.

After everything that your wife has done which expresses her not wanting to be in your marriage and you putting up out of fear of the unknown, you are both trapped. What is the point?
If you split what you do have you don't have to stay in a remote place its not too late to start again, Explore alternatives. You sound so ground down by it all and you must feel so undervalued. You don’t go on dating sites and have affairs if you want to stay married, its just more convenient for her at present so its got to come, Better to be on your own and get your self respect back and make a different life. You can do it,

Have you considered joining on of the dating sites she's on? You know about her and could tailor a profile that may appeal to her? Test her to aee how far she is willing to go. Maybe she just wants the excitement of sexting? Perhaps even arrange a meeting and see her face when you turn up? You didn't specify the ultimatum, but was it actually harsh enough? Seems not. Why not try to take back control of the situation, if not directly then by subterfuge, as outlined above?

kick her out, tell her to move on...

Belardo

Have you considered joining on of the dating sites she's on? You know about her and could tailor a profile that may appeal to her? Test her to aee how far she is willing to go. Maybe she just wants the excitement of sexting? Perhaps even arrange a meeting and see her face when you turn up? You didn't specify the ultimatum, but was it actually harsh enough? Seems not. Why not try to take back control of the situation, if not directly then by subterfuge, as outlined above?

I think I would join the dating site and see what her profile is like, maybe I would peruse the other ladies on the site Im sure there are some very nice lonely ladies.

Personally I wouldnt say or do anything unless I thought an affair had started

I think that's a good idea. I am intriqued in what she talks about. Its all laced with sexual jealousy but I would like to know what she does online.