Where did I go wrong??

As you have been together for many years you are unlikely to be on a fixed term contract for your rental property. You are highly likely to be on a rolling or periodic tenancy- find out. It's easier to end a rolling or periodic tenancy as you do not need your ex partner's agreement.

Information how to do this on England.shelter.org.uk. Speaking to your partner/landlord/rental agent of your intentions first stage. If your ex partner does not agree- the landlord/agent will contact her to ask her is she wishes to continue the tenancy on her won. If her answer is no, she can not afford to do so- they will communicate her options to her. This will also have the benefit of informing the landlord/agency of affordability and relationship breakdown problems that reduces confidence that the rent will continue to be paid on time. Thus the property owner will be informed and may wish to give notice on the tenancy themselves.

Your head may be telling you your ex partner is holding all the cards and therefore you will continue to be accepting of the situation albeit frustrated and depressed - but that is not the case. Assert your voice and make some choices and decisions - seek support from your family and/or Citizens Advice Bureaux if you need help.

SchiTsu Dad

Your partner is not likely to get social housing until she is actually homeless. Places are in high demand, even families have to accept B and B the waiting list is very long in some areas.

As you are not married there are no financial ties, you have no joint property, the next step is one of you leave, if the other can afford the rent they can carry on with the tenancy.

As you want something smaller give notice where you are and move she will have to make the decision.

Agree with everything you say David49.

Sadly I fear there the reasons stopping the OP seeing the situation as it actually is and taking action to secure his future and improve his own well being are emotional rather than rational and realistic.

The clues are:
1) "I cant move on whilst she is still living here"- but factually he can move and the first step in the process is giving notice to all parties. Perhaps its the challenge of 'emotionally moving on" that is holding him back rather than the practicalities.
2) "I can't (wouldn't) 'throw her out onto the street', so to speak"- that's the voice/belief in OP's head. The reality is he wouldn't be throwing her out onto the street as his ex partner actually wants to move out. She will have a full 2 month notice period before moving out to find another rental- or move in with family/friends till she finds something that reaches her 'picky' choosing.
3) "Frankly, I don't really want this situation at this stage of my life. Because she is being so picky"- OP is prioritising ex partner's pickiness over his own needs and health and well being.

Relationship counselling may help address the emotional aspects of moving forward so that physical and practical action can then follow?

I can understand that, having been together for so log, you are reluctant to throw her out on the street or move on butvshe has in fact moved on if not physically.

You hae to give her an ultimatum, a deadline, and start making plans for looking for somewhere smaller for yourself.
Does your local Council or Housing Association have accommodation, perhaps bungalows, suitable for retirees? If so, are you on the list? It could be a possibility and might be more secure than a private rental.

If your ex-partner has to move in with her daughter in the short-term, that should focus her mind on finding something suitable for herself in Yorkshire.

You are living in a kind of no-man's land at the moment.

Good luck.

Please excuse typos - I can't see the whole message box and should have previewed.

If the house is solely in your name, put it on the market and tell your partner or ex-partner that you intend to do so.

Probably you should consult a solicitor about the ins and outs of the situation, as you have told us so little that it is hard to know what advice to give you.

If the house is in both your names, I doubt you can either refuse to pay your half of expenses if you move out, or in any way force her out, but there again you need a solicitor to advise you.

Just tell her you're moving out. You rent the place between you so you must give notice to fet deposit back. If eitger of you prefer to rent and can afford the place on your own, well and good, if not make your own arrangements. Do it now you are not getting any younger.

I feel for you but you are not responsible for your ex partner. Give notice to the landlord and start looking for somewhere to get on with your life. She will stay with her daughter until she finds a place to live. Time to let go and move on. Best wishes.

BlueBelle

Good grief he doesn’t need dating help if anything he’s been going from one relationship to another far too quickly

The man needs to find his smaller place that he wants, giving the girlfriend plenty of notice that he’s moving on then when he’s found somewhere give the owner his notice she will then need to take over the rent or move.
Give her plenty of notice ie This isn’t working and hasn’t been for a long time I m moving out as of ……. That will force her hand she won’t be on the street as she has her daughters as a temporary residence
And from one who knows live on your own you don’t need a partner at all costs, sometimes being alone is by far better and less complicated

This. OP sounds more than reasonable.

Good luck.

I wonder when ShihTzuDad will come back and tell us how he’s getting on. 🤔🤔

Reported.

REPORTED

Unfortunately, the Witch Doctor post is being added to several threads.

melissacole's post has given me the best laugh I've had today!