Friends of friends

"Yes I'd love to meet but can we keep it just us two this time. I enjoy your company so much!"

There are ways to frame this sensitively as Madgran has said or just say ‘could just the two of us for lunch’ etc. And if she suggests Pat should come along say you would rather is just the two of you and don’t feel the necessity to explain further. You have the right to choose your friends and if this Jen is in thrall to Pat let her see her separately.

* just the two of us go for lunch

I know what this is like and am in a similar situation. I don't know what to do either. Currently I just stay the minimum time and leave early. Not ideal I know.

I would come straight out with it and voice my feelings of unease to Jen. Maybe she just can’t see what’s right under her nose. If she is a true friend she should take your comments on board and agree to meet you without Pat.
The only alternative is to put up with Pat and hope that if you give her enough rope etc., etc. 😉

Tricky. I wouldn't say negative things about Pat, but would suggest outings to Jen and say you'd prefer it to be just the two of you. If she asks why, you could say that you get more of a chance to talk to her when Pat's not around. She'll get the message, but won't be put in a position where she might feel disloyal to her friend.

I would have to say something too.
I would be quite straightforward I think and say "please don't bring Pat along - we can do something with Pat another day".

NotSpaghetti

I would have to say something too.
I would be quite straightforward I think and say "please don't bring Pat along - we can do something with Pat another day".

Am afraid I’m with you on this.
At my age I really can’t do with pussyfooting around friends, was a people pleaser most of my life, now I haven’t got the bandwidth for it.

I would start by saying something like Pat speaks her mind, doesn’t she but obviously in a very smiley way.
At another meet-up on your own bring up what she said that was unpleasant.
Just keep drip dripping until you feel comfortable by saying what you want to say.

I had this situation with my close friends cousin. The woman did just not stop talking from the moment she walked through the door.
I kept making jokes about her being on the talking pills 😂 until the next get together when I told my friend, I won’t be coming.

The cousin could have had ADHD and tend to talk non-stop when nervous in new social situations.

I say that as I have ADHD and also this tendency to do what a friend describes as 'jabber'. I am fortunate that as I know I do it, I can exercise some control over it, but not always. I have often been talking non-stop for several minutes before I realise - and then shut down.

Petra I couldn't make jokes about something like this. I'm afraid that does sound a little cruel.
I'm sure you don't mean it like that.