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Husband I think is looking for divorce after 50 years.

(55 Posts)
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welshmist Tue 21-Jul-26 14:25:56

I'm really worried now. He's being very devious. He's buying the diet jabs secretly to lose weight. I accidentally saw the bruises on his stomach.

His mood swings have been scary lately. I'm called stupid etc, despite me doing all the financial side of things. He's quite a bit older than me. But I have needed two new hips so have been somewhat disabled for a while, which he said he didn't sign up for. He's been so nasty. Last night he shouted in an unguarded moment that he was getting organised to go. I think he means when he's slim again he'll be irritable to younger healthier women.

He's 5'4". 75 years old. Awfully wrinkled, tight as a ducks arse financially, counts every penny. He's also wealthy. My late mum said once, he knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Should I just stay quiet until he thinks he's lost enough weight to be irresistible, let him go and sort out the finances amicably. I'm sorely tempted just to be done with his mood swings.

I've a feeling some lady on his walks has been batting her eyelashes at him.

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Gwyllt Tue 21-Jul-26 21:38:17

Fancy that. Don’t you believe it ‼️

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welshmist Tue 21-Jul-26 22:42:36

I do know what a narcissist is my mother was one. She caused so much havoc and pain for her family.

What Hurt is him saying that I've turned into my mother. As far as I know you can't turn into a narcissist, you're born that way.

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Graphite Tue 21-Jul-26 23:17:02

The term narcissist is overused. Genuine narcissistic personality disorder needs to be professionally diagnosed.

Narcissism exists in all of us to a greater or lesser degree. We can all seem self-absorbed at times and arrogant.

It doesn’t solve anything in this situation to be labelling one another.

You said yourself this could be sorted out amicably if he decides he wants out. You haven’t described a happy marriage so I’m struggling to understand why you want to hold onto him.

You can’t be so much younger than him if you have state pension, at most, nine years younger.

As others have said, see a solicitor to discuss your legal and financial rights and if you are genuinely scared of him and his mental state speak to the police. They will remove his guns.

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Wyllow3 Tue 21-Jul-26 23:48:30

It is bandied about too easily, we discussed this on another thread recently, probably better to talk of "tendencies" on the whole unless it's a professional opinion.

So - don't let him pin a label on you, either

and phone that solicitor.

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