How Can Anyone Diagnose Another Person Mentally Unless They Are Qualified ?

How I agree Nina and I wonder if it has increased even in the years I have been on GN.
When I challenged one "member" as to her qualifications for her relationship counselling advice I was told she was "on a lot of family forums"!!
Well I listen to Radios 2 and 3, but it doesn't make me a musician!!
Seriously though, the proliferation of social media and forums like MN has meant everyone is an expert. If it's on Google it must be true. Having opinions is one thing, giving them another, but influencing the actions of others with amateur psychobabble could be extremely dangerous.

I agree nina I have noticed these terms being used frequently. As a mental health nurse in a previous life I think a lot of people don't realise how serious some illnesses are. For example saying one is depressed when actually you are just sad, OCD is very debilitating and impacts greatly on the sufferers life, it's not just about worrying if the gas is turned off.
I think people should be more careful about using these terms.

I'm shocked at how widespread it is. I am well read on psychology, CBT and a few other things and I would love to able to shout from the rooftops....YOUR FAMILY AREN'T DERANGED, THEY JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE!
The sad thing is on Mumsnet it seems prolific, almost arrogant, kind of a one size fits all summing up that if they can't get on with family it's because they're mentally deranged. I can see it's also used as a convenient excuse to shove family out of sight, out of mind by attaching a label to their mental state. Unless the person is qualified, they shouldn't do it.
Very much an issue with today's lack of responsibility on social media.

I hope it changes soon. x

One problem is the rise of the Youtube 'expert' airing all their problems in the public eye and also labelling people as narcissistic. When you look for any accreditation, there is none. They are just ordinary members of the public looking for a stage.
Support groups are wonderful, I agree, but they can't administer or dictate a person's health or mental condition. It's the job of their own GP to do this.

I'd say it was the job of a qualified psychiatrist. GPs aren't usually specialists in mental health issues.

Ana, that's right. But I think it starts with a visit to their GP for assessment then it's a process. Either way, an expert opinion determines who is a sociopath or psychopath, not an aggrieved family member who thinks they know it all because they googled it.

To answer the headline

Of course not

BiPolar MIL, Narcissistic MIL, controlling MIL, boundaries, entitlement, etc. Tiresome and causing dismissive attitudes towards family.

Not to mention Cluster B & C personalities, sociopathic and neurotic.
I read a post this afternoon by a girl who wasn't able to get on with her mum. The response from the main contributor was 'she's clearly not capable of listening to you, and sounds like she's a malignant narcissist. Best to go completely NC'.

This poster is wrong and should not allowed to be on a group where relationships are concerned. It's this kind of reckless advice by internet forum junkies that's spreading estrangement and causing more harm than good.

I agree Nina this has been a bee in my bonnet for many years.
Giving someone a label is just an excuse for doing nothing.
We need to concentrate on the behaviour which is causing problems and find ways around it, or how to reduce it.

These diagnostic labels are contentious anyway. The American system DSM is out of synch with the European system ICD. There is a view that there is no such as a 'personality' disorder!
This casual compartmentalising of people into neat diagnostic boxes without detailed assessment is pretty worthless. But hey, its only on an internet forum so what do you expect?

Blaming family friction on psychiatric problems in parents ignores the effects of heredity, too. If someone cannot get on with one parent, there is a strong probablity that they share the same annoying traits but only recognise them in one another.

I agree with previous posters. At uni the first lecture we had on mental illness was that all titles given to the sufferers, long term or not, these were "sticky labels" and liable to stick with them for the rest of their lives. So unfair.

Unless the family situation really is abusive. it's just such wrong advice to tell someone to cut their mum of while diagnosing her as a fruitcake. I used to run estrangement groups for parents and sometimes we had estranged AC on board. No one was happy. Our advice was to try and keep the communication going at some level, at least a card at Christmas and birthdays.
Going NC is for people who are trying to rebuild their shattered sense of self from years of abusive relationships and it may well help them to take this time out and indeed, not go back. But to give carte blanche diagnoses and tell people to just cut off family members has arisen from the years of entitled thinking and quite astonishingly selfish thinking too. Life isn't just about us. We operate best as a tribe. We might not see eye to eye but few people do.
I recently had a spat with Davina McCall. She wrote a book trashing her mum, who had died so couldn't say anything. Then there was an article in the press about the same thing. Why? Why drag your family through the mud, especially when you present a 'happy families' reconciling TV programme. She told me to read her book but I suggested she was wrong to present the idea that it's OK to trash your family and then say publicly, that she was 'relieved' when her mother died. That was a heartless blow to many parents who are still hoping for reconciliation and it showed that the TV presenter clearly has an image of herself that she's perfect without flaw.

I hope the girl who posted on another group realises her mum probably is her best friend and although she might be a pain at times, none of us are perfect. Some people are better kept at the end of a phone line. But cutting them off completely just because you don't get on? Very immature and a sad way to be. And then diagnosing them with a mental illness as an excuse for their own behaviour of cutting them off, that's pretty sad thinking too.

I'm more interested in your flu. I came down with it on Sunday and feel awful. I'm rattling with drugs to get my temperature down. Not had flu like this for years.

I hope it's not swine flu

As to diagnosis of mental health, sometimes it can be borderline personality disorder with no specific label. My sister has mental health issues and we can't put a level on it. She just lived in her own world.

Trueblue, dreadful lower back pain. It began last Thursday, by Saturday I couldn't move. My lumber region had locked and gone into spasm. It's just starting to peak now. I've been on strong painkillers and heatpads but very painful. Feel like I'm on the mend now though. x

Oops, I think I mentioned narcissism on another thread
It does take very careful handling on the part of the DIL which doesn't always work out, particularly if the MIL has a narcissistic personality and wants everything to be about her

But I did not 'diagnose' anyone in particular and a narcissistic-type personality does not necessarily mean a mental health illness.

And I was absolutely against anyone being cut out of anyone else's life and thought that some posts were advocating that.

Nina1959 - Given I agree that unless it really is abusive, it's bad advice to tell someone to cut their mum of while diagnosing her as a fruitcake, there are real fruitcakes, control freaks, and BPD out there.

No kidding! I see the "narcissist" accusation all over the place. Some people seem say, "She's a narcissist" as easily and confidently as they would say, "He's a policeman" or "She's my neighbor!" It's ridiculous!

Also, I can't imagine ever telling anyone to cut anyone off, except in extreme circumstances. LC I can get on board with, but NC? Not except in the worst situations.

Nina if you still have time to read, this is a long, but I thought, very interesting recent article on the subject of mental health including diagnoses:

paulkirby.net

Kirby is a visiting Professor at the LSE.

I hope your back is on the mend.

I'm going to disagree with many of the posts here. If mental illness is to be accepted and put on a par with physical illness, as of course it should be, then we have to stop treating those suffering differently. But that also carries the expectation that, like any physical illness, it can be discussed openly and without discrimination.

People are quite happy, on this forum and in the real world, to discuss symptoms and aches and pains. There's currently a thread about back pain and recently there was one about skin cancers on GN. Possible diagnosis and treatments were discussed and reassurances offered.

By the same token why shouldn't there be an open discussion about mental health issues?

If the stigma attached, by some, to mental health issues is to be overcome then that would seem the way forward, rather than a defensive attitude, surely?

I'd say it was the job of a qualified psychiatrist. GPs aren't usually specialists in mental health issues

Except GPs prescribe pills for it, write up notes about it etc, so they are diagnosing it every day.

Politians on gransnet are getting called the narcissistic word and others every day on here.
That is not on either.