I've become confused what relationship I have with someone I thought of as a close 'friend'. Wondering if any of you have had similar experiences?
I've got a handful of close friends & we give each other birthday gifts & I wouldn't dream of not doing so.
Couple of years ago this particular friend asked if I still wanted to do birthday gifts? Came out of the blue & put me on the spot. I just said, "Yes" She said "It's entirely up to you. I'm just checking as you might want to save the money for your family"
It's not 'entirely up to me" as she was the one who brought it up!
For context we only do birthdays not Xmas & wouldn't spend more than 20 £.
She then suggested we just get each other a bottle of our favourite tipple for birthdays. I thought that was fine. So we started doing that. But since then she's asked me yet again if I still want to do the bottle gifts?
I think I was being dense as it's finally dawned on me that she doesn't want to do the gifts at all.
This is someone I thought I had a nice friendship with but now I think she wants to distance herself.
With C19 of course I haven't seen a lot of her but we've keep in contact & had chats outdoors.
I've discussed this with my partner who says I should get in first before birthday season & ask her to put the onus on her. Sounds reasonable but I feel she'll then twist it to make it seem like this was my idea.
I feel like I've been manipulated by her.
It's not about the materialism of present giving. I don't think money is an issue (She has decent earnings) I feel she just doesn't want to bother anymore but for myself the friendship isn't what I thought. After being close mates for 20 odd years this has saddened me.
AiryFlyingFairy Sat 08-May-21 13:04:02
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