I have a question for people who are No Contact with a family member.
What happens when that estranged parent dies and it's Inheritance Time?
Do you turn up and expect a share?
Is it right to expect money off a parent whom you want nothing to do with?
I'm asking this question because one of my siblings ( we're all mid 40s) hasn't spoken to my mother for over 10 years . My mother divorced my father. At the time sister sided with 'let me buy you a car' daddy. My brother and I tried to remain unbiased.
My mother has her own property, left to her by the man she married.
She has recently developed a chronic illness that will shorten her life considerably.
and has recently been talking about making sure her will is up-to-date and in order, should anything happen.
Which is why I'm on here asking these questions. It has the cogs turning!
She gets very upset at my sister's treatment of her and has tried numerous times over the years to reconnect but is blanked at every step of the way.
There are many tears.
I've tried my best to be a bridge between the two of them,
I've even looked at support sites.
If you fall down the rabbit hole of the No Contact Sites (yes there are sites devoted to it) I would no doubt be labelled a flying monkey!
I spent days trawling through them, to try and understand things from my sister's point of view. (In a way I've lost a sister)
Some of the sites talk a lot of sense but others have a distinct cultish feel to them.
My mother was definitely not a narcissist. We had a lovely childhood growing up.
If anything our father was the awkward one and could be quite nasty towards our friends at times.
Another disturbing thing I've noticed, is that it's nearly always the mothers that get given this NC treatment. Not so much the fathers.
Why is this?
Strange how it's the mothers who are also labelled Narcissist.
as you can see I've picked up some of the jargon. grey rock and low contact are two more phrases that get bandied about a lot.
Because the subject of wills has come up its got me thinking.
What happens years down the line when the parent you're no contact with is due to leave a lot of money?
Do you stick to your convictions and stay No Contact ?
Or, do you have an about turn and decide, Hey! ker ching! Maybe she weren't so bad after all?
I realise my post sounds a bit bitter and I suppose it is.
I'm bitter on behalf of my mother who is a lovely lady and doesn't deserve to be treated like this. All because she got divorced.
She didn't leave a young family. We had all moved out and were settled by the time she left him.
I'm also bitter that my sister has been brainwashed into doing this incredibly cruel thing on what seems to me to me to have no justifiable reason.
I appreciate that there are very good reasons why some people go No Contact with a
Parent, due to abuse and cruelty, but this isn't one of them. I know all that.
About the money
I'm sure my mother will keep my sister in her will.
Unlike my sister, she's not cruel.
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