I must have misread something you posted, Trevor , about losing someone. and being broken-hearted.
If you feel got-at, blame a previous male poster, who was at pains to tell us as often as possible that he loved older women, with a distinct leer in his words. He also responded at once to any thread with a hint of sex mentioned in it, and propositioned a few (female) members by private message.
He has now departed (helped a little, I suspect, by Gransnet management) but has left behind him a lot of distrust of male posters who suddenly have a vocal presence on the forum and share their innermost thoughts with us strangers.