The fact is that none of us are going to find out the answers to these many questions until we leave this mortal coil, and until then we can't be certain of the existence of God or any other higher being. I too had a convent education, and have a clergyman first cousin. Years ago I believed fervently in Christ and his saints, but it was easy then as I had had no experience of life, and so little to judge faith by. Now 60 years along the line, it's nothing like so clear cut, in fact not clear cut at all. My cousin will tell me that God has given free will to mankind for us to do as we will with it according to our conscience, and that it is up to mankind whether good triumphs over evil; our choice. I think that is too simplistic, and a bit of a cop out. Well if God does exist, for certain Christ and his Saints are asleep, and have been for donkeys years. I don't know, but the more I think about it and the older I get I just have a strong feeling that they just ain't there. I wish they were, but I don't think so.