After death

I’m not religious and don’t believe in an afterlife, but think we live on in the hearts and minds of those who care for us. My dearest wish is that our children and grandchildren should have happy memories of us.

Framilode, I've never experienced anything like that but I did have a schoolfriend who I met up with again when we were both 50 and she then told me she'd seen her deceased grandad when she was a little girl and spoken to him - not fully understanding, possibly, that he'd died. She wasn't a fanciful sort of person or the type to make it up and she'd obviously never made a big thing of it at school or I'd have remembered. I tend to think nowadays there's nothing after death but stories like this do make you wonder.

I have the daily email from Richard Rohr, keffie- thought provoking stuff.

How would you imagine heaven to be?
Or hell?

Remember reading Bill Bryson’s History of Everything. Apparently our atoms are out there everywhere. I have stardust and Marilyn Monroe in me! How exciting is that! Or that’s my memory of book.

I really should read that!

Two nights before my father was due to be buried I had a very realistic dream where I woke up, my father was standing by my side of the bed, he just smiled and said "I've come to say goodbye, I'm going to say goodbye to T now" I turned over in bed and my father was standing on my husbands side of the bed, end of dream. Next evening hubby says "had this strange dream last night, your dad came to say goodbye, he seemed really happy"

Several years ago, I was with my little sister in her final weeks after a long battle with breast cancer. She was a young mother at the time and had fought fiercely to stay longer. At times she was incoherent but there were also lucid moments, two of which stay with me. One morning, she clearly told me she'd seen a "light shaped like a cone" all night but that she'd "ignored" it. Another time she was staring sharply toward the side near the foot of the bed, though no one was there. When asked what she was looking at she clearly said the name of our brother that had passed a year earlier. After witnessing, it's difficult not to give credence to the idea of some sort of afterlife.

Eglantine, you have put so beautifully what I wanted to say. Years ago I went to a 'Humanist' funeral and the lady speaker said just what you have, but not so eloquently. I have thought often since about the notion that we have all had another life - in the womb - and that if we had been told of what was to come we would likely not have believed it. I also fine it hard to imagine that the human spirit dies along with the worn out body; I believe that in some way the essence of each person - which is completely different from anyone else - carries on in some way.

My father died of cancer when I was eleven. Some weeks later my mother said he had come to her and begged her to go with him.
She had told him she had to look after me and he disappeared.
She was a straight talking woman who would not have made this up.
She lived to 101 years and believed what she told me.
I am also very sceptic but....

Just to say I am quite overcome by how nice people have been about my comment. On here and the pms. It’s made me a bit tearful. Thank you.

It’s been many years and a long hard path at times to get to a belief I can hold to. And it still wobbles about at times.......

Hi, sorry to change the subject a bit. I don't have much of a view on life after death but have an immense phobia of death itself. I have had this since I was 16 and am now 66. I have seen psychiatrist's had CBT, read lots of self help books. I would be really happy with your views.

Within my faith I still wobble at times Eglantine, so keep going you are on the up.

What a fascinating conversation, so diverse and quite heartwarming. I am in agreement with Sheilasue - that is all I want too - just to know that I will see my son again. Am thinking of you Everhopeful.

Well, I have to say, it is my hope against hope that i'll see my daughter again, which has sparked my interest.
I long to see her.
I hadn't finished with her yet...

MissAdventure How sad for you. Logic tells me there is nothing after this but I can't believe I will never again see all my loved ones who have died.

What a fascinating thread - so enjoyed reading it. Eglantine, I have read and read and re read your post, thank you so much for sharing, so very comforting and reassuring.

What a lovely thread this is and I would like to add these words that I found written by my mother on the back of a photo of my father who was killed a few weeks before I was born.

Life is eternal and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

That is so touching niggly , so true too, thank you x

I don't believe that there is anything at all after death. Even Doris Stokes didn't "come back" to tell anyone...

Again, thank you annie

niggly, I think of you and your Mother when there is any memorial service for those killed in the wars , to give birth weeks after your husband has been killed, can’t imagine the emotional pain x

Oh annie, you are kind. While I was growing up we didn't really talk about it, my stepfather was a lovely man and we couldn't have asked for a kinder person to, as it where, rescue us!! But once I was an adult and my mother was old(er!) she did open up and it was then that I understood what an enormous grief it had been to her particularly the manner of his death, and basically the only way she had been able to cope was simply not to talk about it. Difficult and emotional conversations but necessary. annie, you too have had dreadful tragedies and I too think of you in somewhat similar circumstances and wonder how on earth you have coped. I guess it's amazing what we can do, often surprising ourselves! xx

niggly we cope because we have to, I am glad your mother found happiness and you had your step father x

In my case, having faith, believing as it were, is something I feel inside. I would find it almost impossible to describe to someone what it is I feel. I would not say I am a good person but I do try to be. Sometimes something happens that brings a wave of emotion to me. One time I was in Salisbury Cathederal for the first time. They had a new font with words that were inscribed around the edge. As I walked round the font and read the words I was overcome with a feeling of belonging to God and a deep feeling of peace. I still have a special place in my heart for Salisbury and can remember that lovely warmth of feeling that came to me there.
To go back to the OP. Yes I do believe that there will be comfort for those who die and somehow we will be reunited with our loved ones perhaps in ways we can't understand now.