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Jehovah Witness

(143 Posts)
mrsmopp Sun 25-Oct-20 20:48:38

A long term friend has joined the JW and now wants to enter into long discussions with me, even though I am happy with my C of E church. It’s beginning to spoil our friendship.
I’m trying to be diplomatic in refusing but this friend insists on trying to convert me. Advice please!

EllanVannin Sun 25-Oct-20 21:00:22

Just put your foot down and stay firm with your own church. Tell her straight that you won't change for anyone and no amount of persuading will make a scrap of difference. Leave it at that and don't give her cause to continue with her brainwashing---even if it means changing the tone of your voice. A firm no thankyou.

tanith Sun 25-Oct-20 21:01:42

Be straight with your friend and tell them to please keep off the subject of religion when you meet or it’s going to affect your friendship.
We have a JHW Temple at the end of my road so I know how persistent they are but if you tell them straight you are not interested they are very polite and back off.

Urmstongran Sun 25-Oct-20 21:19:27

Nothing more zealous than a new convert who has ‘seen the Light’ and wants to share it!

M0nica Sun 25-Oct-20 22:19:50

I believe that jehovahs witnesses believe that they have a moral duty to convert others to their beliefs. This is why they go door to door. They also have to limit their contacts with those who are not emebers of their sect.

So mrsmopp, your friend is caught between a rock and a hard place with her commitment to convert others, plus knowing that her beliefs mean that she may have to break off her friendship with you if you too not become a memeber of the sect.

Perhaps ask her why she works so hard on trying to convert you, is it because your friendship is at stake? if you understood why she is doing it, it might make the way forward clear.

seacliff Sun 25-Oct-20 22:27:37

Just watched the film Apostasy about JWs on bbc2 . Fascinating to see what they believe. Be very firm OP, don't get involved in debate.

ClareAB Sun 25-Oct-20 22:38:58

Tell her that you understand her zeal and know that she is trying to give you the joy that she is feeling, a which is lovely. Then kindly explain that you have your own beliefs that you would like her to respect as you do hers.
Or, agree to have the odd debate as long as it doesn't get heated.

SpringyChicken Sun 25-Oct-20 22:46:40

There's no point beating about the bush with your friend. From my experience on my doorstep, JWs are persistent and thick skinned . I would merely say that you don't intend to discuss religion and related topics under any circumstances and on that basis, you can remain friends. Then it's up to her to accept your terms or lose your friendship. You have to be assertive.

FarNorth Sun 25-Oct-20 22:46:47

She believes that you will not go to heaven if you are not a JW and that she must therefore help you to see the truth of that.
JWs do not believe in hell, however, just that you cease to exist at all after death.

Tell her that you want to stay friends with her but that you won't be able to if she speaks about her religion so often as you don't intend to change from your own religion.

BBbevan Mon 26-Oct-20 02:46:11

I have just watched the film 'Apostasy' about the JW. Learnt things I didn't know. A very unforgiving religion. Just politely say No to your friend. If she persists you will have to consider your friendship again

welbeck Mon 26-Oct-20 04:54:43

do you really want all this hassle.
i got caught up in a conversation in a cafe once. let a lady share my table. she seemed a little odd, and trying to be kind i made conversation. she seemed what we used to call a bit simple. no offence to anyone. after some time, when i would have preferred my own company, she got out leaflets, JW, and i felt used somehow, cheated. she was up to something. and i hadn't realised. i felt quite annoyed.

Sparkling Mon 26-Oct-20 05:58:39

I would ask her straight if you cannot remain friends if you don't convert. If she says yes, I would say I'm glad I have a religion of love and inclusiveness,that reaches out to others regardless of their faith. Who would want to be narrow minded and unforgiving. It won't be a friendship like you glad anymore. I think if their own family don't convert they have to break contact. How can that be right?

TrendyNannie6 Mon 26-Oct-20 06:39:09

I’m so far removed from anything JW believe in, so there is not a chance of a friend converting me, I would explain mrsmopp that while you value her friendship, there is no way you will be changing your religion, if she’s a good friend she will understand hopefully! Just stand firm

Whitewavemark2 Mon 26-Oct-20 06:42:44

I thought it was a dying cult. Haven’t had one knocking for donkeys years. Nor the Mormons.

Oldwoman70 Mon 26-Oct-20 07:57:48

As I understand it JWs believe that less than 150,000 people will actually go to heaven, where they will rule over those left behind - and the more people they convert improves their chances of being amongst the favoured few. So basically, they are more concerned about saving their own soul than they are yours.

Tell your friend you want to maintain your friendship but are not interested in converting to her religion.

Illte Mon 26-Oct-20 08:05:54

She might be trying to convert you or she might be suffering from the "drones".

You know, when somebody gets done thi g new going on in the ur life and thry bring it into every conversation. New man, house moving, diet, grandchildren! whatever?

If you hang in there it might go back to something like normal. (Though sometimes it takes years?)

Illte Mon 26-Oct-20 08:06:34

goes droning on and other typos ?

Lilypops Mon 26-Oct-20 08:07:14

We live next door to JW,s. We couldn’t ask for better, helpful,kind neighbours , When they first moved in I told them politely never to try to convert us or preach, and I said if I wanted to know anything about their religion I would ask ,
They respected that ,they never did try to convert us ,
We remain good friends and neighbours , always willing to help ,
We do get the occasional JW knocking but when I say who lives next door they usually just go away ,

sodapop Mon 26-Oct-20 08:27:52


Nothing more zealous than a new convert who has ‘seen the Light’ and wants to share it!

That is so true Urmstongran and can be very wearing. I had to work with a family who were Jehovah's Witnesses some years ago. Despite great difficulties with one of their children they would not adapt in any way to try and help him. It was frustrating to see someone with learning and behaviour problems being denied the help he needed.
We have a group of JW who call on us occasionally here in France.

geekesse Mon 26-Oct-20 09:24:14

JWs believe that only JWs will be saved. The OP’s friend cares enough for the OP that she wants to remain friends for all eternity. I’d consider that a very powerful gesture of affection. I’d counsel the OP to acknowledge that as well as saying she prefers to take her own path through life.

It’s easy to knock the beliefs and practices of someone whose views are different from our own. At a time when many people find the support to keep going from religious or philosophical frameworks, I think we should be careful how we speak about views we disagree with.

Greyduster Mon 26-Oct-20 09:25:34

My brother in law married a lady who is a JW. She seemed very nice, but gradually cut him off from his family and, worse, from his adult daughter which has caused her untold hurt over the years. DH and I are disgusted with him.

travelsafar Mon 26-Oct-20 09:33:03

I know two people who are JW, i worked with them both. One was a brilliant co worker, hard working, helpful and totally into her JW work, it was her life. She had a not so good marriage and sadly no children, they couldn't have any. She had been bought up in a childrens home and the JW converted her when about 16 years old so it has become her family. She did try to convert me but i gently told her it wasnt for me and we have remained 'friends', even after retirement she still occasionally rings me. The other was very weak in character and i felt she hid behind the JW, never making a decision in her adult life and always referring back to JW rules. Her husband non JW used this trait in her to control her and manipulate her to the point she wasnt allowed to see her only grand child for a long time as her son had upset his father and one of the JW rules is that a wife should obey her husband. I felt sorry for both of them really, because if they had not converted their lives may have been so different.

Grammaretto Mon 26-Oct-20 09:35:55

I used to say I was saved thankyou but they can be persistent. I once opened the door when I had flu, hoping to see a doctor or friend but was met with a different kind of healing
In the end I shut the door as it was the only way to get rid of them.

Chameleon007 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:44:31

We have a very good life long friend who is a JW and we respect each others religion. Occasionally we have interesting religious debates. When her husband died, who was not JW, we were impressed how the local JWs supported his wife. But it was myself and husband, who the family turned to regarding the funeral arrangements and asked to attend the funeral as close family because of our friendship. The local JWs provided the venue and food and many introduced themselves to me, but not one of them tried to convert me to JW. I don't know if it's a result of being friends of a JW but we don't get them knocking at the door.

PinkCakes Mon 26-Oct-20 16:01:26

As she hasn't picked up on your tactful approach, perhaps you need to be direct. Try telling her that her religion doesn't interest you, you don't want to know anything about it, and that you're happy with your own beliefs.

If that doesn't work, avoid seeing or speaking to her.