Attending a hearse passing 'funeral'

I remember when I was a WRAF going home on leave in uniform. As I tried to cross the road, a hearse came around the corner and I had to put my case and bags down, stand straight and salute. I felt a little silly but maybe the mourners in their cars appreciated the gesture. I assume the regs are still the same today, you must salute a hearse if in uniform.

I think that throwing flowers is done in some cultures - I have been to a funeral where we threw flowers into the grave with the coffin - although I have only been to very few burials.
As we mix with people from so many different traditions, we pick up ideas and adapt them - especially so in these times. As for what seems respectful or helpful - I think we have to leave that to the closest friends & family to let us know. I have found that things I think seem a little odd assume real meaning if you know they are welcomed by the loved ones.

Many people say 'wake' (which I still think of an an Irish expression) for what I would call a 'funeral tea' - taken at any time of the day, like a 'wedding breakfast'. At the funeral of a young friend, it was called an 'after party' - a term I still like!

When the funeral processions of fallen service personal used to pass through Royal Woittsn Bassett, those lining the streets used to throw flowers.

Perhaps clapping is an acknowledgement of all that the deceased person was, achieved in life, and gave to others and is a mark of appreciation and respect for that?

The Morris dancing I had not heard of but I think that is a lovely farewell gesture.

geekesse yes I saw the flower throwing at Diana’s hearse, and
heard the wailing. Hoped it was a one off.

My husband was killed in a car crash some years ago whilst on
duty, there were police lining the route from the Cathedral to grave, many people standing on the pavements , i would have been even more distressed if there had been clapping or a throwing of flowers.

For me it’s so undignified, clapping goes with joy.

Stand and bow your head that’s a respectful way if you are unable to attend. Clapping isn’t something I would do. Family of the deceased will know you are there when they drive past.

A well known local figure recently died and the route of the hearse was given out for those who wanted to attend. I happened to drive that way some time before (forgetting they were going that way) and saw so many people waiting and chatting (6ft apart) for the hearse. What struck me was how many had dressed up in black. Many in suits and hats. I found it rather moving. However, I never waited to see if they clapped.

I think a bow of the head is appropriate.
When I was a child my father always raised his hat if a cortège
Passed. He also always raised his hat if we passed the Cenotaph
I don’t ever see that nowadays except on Remembrance Sunday.

Grandmabatty

When dad died and we were following the hearse, men of a certain age stopped and took off their hats and bowed their heads as we passed. That was very moving. I'm not a fan of clapping at a funeral or on door steps.

I’ve posted this before, but worth repeating I think.

When we were following the hearse to the crematorium for my dad’s funeral, nearly 50 years ago, we were travelling along a country road and a man was working in the field. He stopped, took off his cap, and stood silently.

That was just the sort of thing Dad would have done. It moved me, my mum and my sister very much. Have never forgotten that gesture by a stranger.

I don’t know where clapping originated, but I recall hearing it first at the televised funeral for Pope John Paul II & was rather taken aback. I wondered whether it was a continental custom which has filtered through to the UK.

Pope John Paul died after Diana, perhaps it filtered to the continentals from the uk

This happened to me last week - a neighbour died just before Christmas and his daughter requested that anyone that wished to (he was well known and liked in the village) would stand out either along the route to the local church where the service was going to be or actually outside the church.
I was the only one from our close that stood outside to see him leave his home for the final time and a couple of his friends/employees stood either side of the way in to the close, like a guard of honour.
I didn't clap or anything just stood quietly .
The clapping and flower throwing I believe are something that is usually done in certain parts of Europe.

When on the way to my dad’s funeral several years ago, I looked out of the car and through my tears saw a lady cross herself. A complete stranger. It was so moving and I have never forgotten her. Since that day I would cross myself if ever I saw a hearse passing by. I don’t think clapping is very appropriate, but each to his own I suppose.

I was taught as a child that you stood to attention facing the hearse as it passed in Scotland, and that in Denmark, I had to remember to curtsey as it passed. Men and boys bowed.

I have never heard of clapping, it sounds wrong to me.

I was a police officer in the 70’s and remember being told to stop, stand to attention and salute a funeral cortège. As the police station. Was near a funeral directors and a cemetery it was a common occurrence and as the only woman police officer in the town it was noticed and I would often get relatives approach me on the beat to thank me for saluting. Sadly I think that has died out now. I am in the folk music circle and have be to several funerals with Morris dancers, folk bands and country dancers accompanying the decades to his grave and am always moved by the proceedings. The deceased often plans his/her funeral to include this.

Not decades .... deceased .... fat fingers!

I like the clapping - applause for a life well lived.

Recently a lady passed away who was a Highland Dance teacher. Her family posted a photo at the crematorium gates,of some of the children she had taught in full Highland outfits with a piper. Also, the owner of a local pub died recently and loads of folk stood outside it as her hearse passed by.

Oh my word no clapping! Doesn’t seem respectful.
My DSister died almost 5 yrs ago in Australia and my DH and I flew out to arrange the funeral etc the funeral director asked if we wanted it videoing! I was horrified and immediately said ‘no thanks’. I’ve thought about it since and still feel the same x

Bowed head and hats off by men. Always the old ways and traditions are best. You can't offend anyone then.
If they request clapping or even wearing a certain colour which I have heard lately then follow the families wishes.

As we walked behind my Mother’s hearse from the funeral director’s to the church along a very busy London street I was so touched by the number of people who stopped and stood by the side of the road, bowed their head or made the sign of the cross as we passed by. This would have been normal in her home in Ireland so it was appreciated by all the family.

I don't think clapping is so terrible. Why would it be? It's just a sign of appreciation for the deceased. We had a local well-known chap die just before Christmas and his cortege went down our street and there were loads of people lined up and clapping.
I was rather surprised but also rather chuffed 18 months ago when I spoke at my old friend's funeral, to get a round of applause. He was a cheery sort and would, I hope, have joined in!

A neighbour died recently in our small village and a note was sent round saying when the hearse would make a loop around on way to crematorium. We all stood quietly. The family had a table with a book of Remembrance outside her house.

My Dad's funeral was pre covid. My lasting memory is of two unknown young men who had just come out of the pub who stopped in their tracks and bowed their heads as the hearse went past. I was deeply touched.

We have always bowed our heads in silence, but I've noticed lately, well since Covid really, on our local news it has shown some mourners clapping as the hearse goes past. I found it odd myself, but just see what everyone else does.

Foxyferret I too was in the RAF (a PM nurse) and a couple of times stood and saluted a hearse when in uniform. Service people are also expected to salute as they pass the Cenotaph in London if wearing uniform.

My dad used to take his hat off and stand to attention while the funeral cortège passed,

kathw12. When my husband died four and a half years ago, I was asked if I wanted the service videoed. It was on the list of services offered. It has its place though. My grandson lives in Los Angeles so was unable to attend the funeral of a life-long friend. He was able to watch the ceremony online. My granddaughter joined other friends outside the church and balloons were released. He was only 28 and I can see why they did that.

As has already been said, it is really up to the grieving family.