Attending a hearse passing 'funeral'

I forgot to say that I refused the video but sometimes wonder if I should have done. I remember very little of the service as it was so distressing

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kathw12 I have unfortunately been to a few lockdown funerals lately that had a live link and were videoed for family who were unable to attend for travel or shielding reasons. It was such a comfort to feel that they were there with us and they said how grateful they were that it had been arranged that way. We were also touched by the number of strangers who stood still on the way to acknowledge the hearse. I assumed that would have died out, so pleased it hasn’t.

A family cannot demand - no clapping

I stood by the road last week for the funeral of a friend, and was surprised when people clapped. It didn't seem appropriate, but I think people just wanted to show appreciation.

When we were in the funeral car behind the hearse going to my Dad's funeral, we had to pass through some winding streets of a village. I remember looking out of the window, it was lashing with rain, and seeing 3 teenagers in hoodies all standing still and saluting! I was very touched and always remember that when I think of that day.

Calendargirl when my father died 45 years ago we had to pass a roadworks just before the crematorium. All the men took their caps off and stood with bowed heads. Like you I found it quite moving.
A few weeks ago we were walking along the beach when we noticed several people dressed in black standing along the road. It did not register at first why they were there but by the time we got to the road a hearse was moving slowly past. DH quickly removed his cap and we both stood there with bowed head. None of the mourners were clapping.

When we clapped our neighbour it really was a reaction to not going to the service or the tea to reminisce about a lovely man. We had lived next door for nearly 30 years. Just watching a hearse didn't seem enough for our shared history.

I think talk of people bowing their heads and removing hats etc is all pre Covid. Things are very different now.

Can it be there are fewer people of faith now ? for me a prayer
for the dead, a hearse then sign of the cross, people who do not share this faith are clapping in place of prayer ?

You may have a point anniebach

I've conducted lots of funerals on occasion my eulogy has been clapped In these days standing quietly or clapping are both happening do whatever you are comfortable with

My mums funeral was video streamed during lockdown for family and friends who were unable to attend because of covid and numbers (??)
Although one of my cousins was awfully confused by the first 5 minutes.... it was the tail end of the funeral before, an Asian family (we are not Asian) ?

When my young niece was horrifically taken from us,it was very moving to see so so many people line the streets to pay their respects.Some let a single balloon of as the carriage went by.I think just the kindness of being there is enough.It certainly helped and touched us as a family.

I forgot to say that these where her school friends who let of balloons.

I am not in favour of clapping either, I remember Princess Diana’s funeral, clapping and throwing flowers...awful.

The custom in our village is to walk behind the hearse from the church to the cemetery, so now people wait outside the church then walk ( suitably distanced) to the graveside, where distancing can be observed.

I attended one of these in December for a fellow coach driver workmate, we all met at the roadside and our boss took one of the coaches down. Like you none of us knew the etiquette, some wondered about clapping, but we decided against! When the hearse passed by everyone bowed their heads and fell silent..
I personally think this is the best thing to do, a mark of honour!

Balloons are the most awful introduction to funerals in my lifetime closely followed by clapping.
Balloons end up as non biodegradable rubbish littering the countryside at best and killing animals.
Clapping is crass. As are flowers saying Mum, Dad or the deceased’s name.

Yes, the important thing is respect, and a bow of the head is the best.

I hate the idea of clapping.

Respectful standing quietly seems to be the order of the day around here.

When my darling Dad died I was very touched by a young lad who stopped and whipped off his beanie as the cortege passed.

When I was young people closed their curtains as a mark of respect....either neighbours or on the route that the hearse would take.

Espee I tend to agree about the balloons and was horrified when I heard that balloons had been released at the funeral my granddaughter attended. However, whilst I would not recommend balloons as they are so ecologically unfriendly, I did appreciate that for a young person, it was a way for his young friends to show their sadness. It must be difficult for youngsters to deal with the death of another young one

Our Son died at the age of 30 of a heart attack. He was at his place of work at the time, a university where we had also studied. For many reasons we arranged to have the funeral near the university and en route, the hearse passed through the grounds. Outside the Great Hall, about 50 members of staff were standing quietly on the steps with their heads bowed. That meant more to me than I can say and that "picture" is still with me thirteen years later.

GrauntyHelen, your experience is helpful. This is a 'safe place' to share opinions.
The practice of clapping seems to divide opinion the most, but I assume that those who don't like it would join in if the family called for it?
There are things decided by the family, such as balloons, and certain music, that I regard as none of my business unless I am asked. However this thread is mostly about smaller individual gestures.
I think that at a funeral of one of my loved ones, if someone did something I didn't like (one has been mentioned here) I would nevertheless know it was intended out of kindness and respect and treat it as such.

Esspee,Not defending flowers clapping balloons ,my 8 yr old niece was murdered.Her school friends a close few let off balloons.It was decided amongst parents and school.Im sure at the time they did what they thought best for my niece .I'm also an animal lover and a big fan of recycle etc.At funerals I'm sure it's from the heart that counts.