I wish that I had a Faith

My conclusion on all this is that, at base, all religions are about caring for each other - they get horrifically corrupted and perpetrate evils that are nothing to do with the original premise.

So -- avoid the potential for corruption and live your life centred around kindness - absolutely nothing else matters.

As a child I was subjected to the trio of abuses from different family members. I was told I was a bad child and I truly believed it. My family were all athiest

There was a church at one of the many places we lived. A friend and I used to go there and we were always welcomed, come by any time and make yourself a tea and help yourself to a biscuit. My friend was a Christian and I threw myself into it.

We attended services, helped with the bell ringing and I spent a lot of time trying to learn how to be good so that the bad things would stop happening. They didn't.

I was a child who believed there was a god because all these good and kind people did but if he was there I felt like he rejected me too.

I stopped going.

Eventually counselling saved me and actually it was a Christian counselling service so I will always be grateful to them for that. I learned that I wasn't ever a bad child.

Over the course of my life though I have met plenty of Christians who were not good people too.

Part of me still wishes I had faith but I just don't. I am grateful for the kind people of faith I have met in life though.

When my brother was dying of brain cancer a vicar came to see him in the hospice and let him hold a olive wood cross. The vicar turned to my sister in law and said " do you think he is seeing the light of Christ ? "
My brother opened his eyes and said
" if you have a copy of the Koran I will put it in my other hand. I'm hedging my bets ! "
Perhaps we all do that when the end is near. Because who knows what happens next ?

Violet Sky My heart goes out to the child you. How wonderful that you have found peace.

My feelings towards faith, religion and God are summed up perfectly by Grayson Perry's Recipe for Humanity.

You will die, you are alone
There is no god upon his throne
Impose thy will upon earth’s mess
Else your life is meaningless
No hell below, no heaven above,
Live life now and act with love.

I am a Unitarian of the Humanist sort. I am not other worldly, and am not attracted to any supernatural beings. I like the Catholic idea of saints (and their statues)as aids to prayer. I particularly like Saint Teresa of Avila. I also like Saint Augustine's idea that evil is absence of Good.

However I would not try to become a Catholic as I will not be told by others what I should believe.

Thank you all for your continued replies.
Especially Neen and Sheian for your really thoughtful posts
I’m sorry, I had previously missed a lot that has been written.
VioletSky for you too

Scones thank you and I do like the poem too.

Fanny thank you

I'm not child me, that might sound strange but one of the things I was taught was to visualise my childhood self and tell her that it wasn't her fault.

I did that and we didn't come back together really, and it's worked to put distance between me and those memories because child me had no control and has very very few good memories.

I do remember well the kindness of those Christian people and will always be grateful even if I didn't leave the church with faith

Thanks for that Scone- beautiful and just how I feel.

For those of us without any 'Faith' - how old were you when you realised it was 'not for you' (aka all nonsense)?.

I was about 5 or 6 and a friend was dying of cancer. And the Vicar said that if we all prayed with all our hearts, she might be saved. And we did- and she was (for a few years)- and I felt it was so so wrong. I was so happy that she was saved, she was a lovely friend- but I felt it was so unfair, because so many sick children didn't have family and friends to pray with all the hearts- so they would not be saved- and it was so sad and unfair. And then I thought about all the childre who were growing up in countries where they were not taught about religion, or the 'wrong' (makes me cringe now- but I was 5!) and they would not be going to heaven as they did not know about it. About my father who was rejected by his family and friends because he was born Catholic but fell in love with my mother who was Protestant, divorced and had a child (my big brother) - and how that must be so hard for him ... It didn't take long.

Kali to answer your question above (I am the op)
I never had a belief. However, my mom did. When she was dying of cancer aged 49, she lost her faith.

I cannot remember a time when I didn't have faith and I've often wondered how I'd have coped with things that have happened during my life without it.

I am so grateful to be given a faith. It took many years and was none of my doing. I thank God all the time for this gift given to me because I know I did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

That's lovely nanna.

Aw Violetsky you were never a bad child. No child is a bad child, I firmly believe it. As children we need love, but are susceptible to other messages (many of which are the direct opposite of love) As adults we often spend time in therapy because of those who needed it and refused to get it.

FannyCornforth in a way there has never been a better time to explore faith because of online services. That means you could listen from home, dip in and dip out until you find the right one that gives you what you're looking for.

My "Sunday Christian" parents kept God firmly in his box all week, living lives that were full of trauma, unforgiveness and drama - but went to church on a Sunday with their freshly polished shoes and fake smiles. I don't call that faith, but fake. Thank God I did find faith myself, but not that way.

I was 11 when I realised I was not a Christian and never would be again. I have often envied others their certainty but organized religion is not for me. I do not see that it is necessary for me to go into a particular building or do particular things in order to acknowledge the fact that I was created by some kind of supreme being.

When I contemplate the grandeur, beauty and symmetry that is the universe I am more inclined to believe in the operation of some kind of "plan" than an individual god figure. I do not think of god as a person with a form or a persona.

At the same time the concept of religion fascinates me in an academic sense. I have often had long discussions with others about their faith and why they believe what they believe.

I don't feel the need to do those things either biglouise. I like going to church and taking communion but don't regard it as a necessary weekly ritual, something that I have to do because I'm a Christian.

I'm a Christian whether I go to church or not.

This thread pops up again!
Biglouis you describe pretty much how I feel.
Age 11 was a turning point for me too - in many ways, actually

When I was a little kid in primary school I decided all this God stuff wasn’t for me. I would sing the hymns, recite the prayers just because that is what you did in those days. At uni I, like most of my friends, decided it was a way of manipulating peoples’ minds, probably invented by governments over the years. I became a humanist then. Fast forward many years and I met a Christian woman who was peaceful, happy and sure in her faith. We had many discussions and one day, like a bolt from the blue, I just believed deep in my heart and soul. I am still amazed but eternally grateful. Sounds simple but it wasn’t - nothing I could even begin to understand.

I wish the moon were made of cheese!

I most definitely do not 'envy' people who have a faith in supernatural beings, gods, etc. Feel rather sorry for them. They have been unable to properly grow up and become adults.

When my children were young they believed in Fatrher Christmas, Tooth Fairy, etc. etc. When I was young I desperately wanted Peter Pan to fly in through my bedroom window, along with Tinkerbell!!!

By secondary school age, nobody had to tell me or my children (or in later times my g.children) that this was all childhood fantasy - thwir own common sense and edcucation opened up their world to understand that.

As a totally atheistic family, we can enjoy any of the 'religious; celebrations which involve food and parties. ll of us at very mixed ages are totally happy with having no religious 'faith',

Never felt any need of one, We have One Life, Let's live it to the full.

FannyCornforth if you do wash up at a Quaker meeting you will find people of different faiths there: and a sense of community of fellow "seekers". For thats what we are and do - we have no creed as such. Seek in fellowship.
My family and the way I was brought up see any faith as a sort of crutch for comfort against a fear of loss and death. But the spirit found me - nothing extreme, no born again or conversion moment - a just knowing feeling in my heart. I tried the C of E, I tried the local Buddhists, and with each, I found pressure to adhere to a certain set of beliefs and not a willingness to consider others or let myself be moved by wisdom from other faiths.

On the table in the middle of our meeting we have the bible and the Quran and the Tao Te ching, but someone is as likely to quote from a poem or something profound from their own experience. We sit in a circle in silence, sometimes a reading to start, and sometimes a whole hour passes in this way, sometimes people speak up. The love and peace in that state is something that a christian would Quote, "passeth understanding".

I’m very glad that I don’t share Franbern’s conviction that we have only one life. I think I would enjoy the peace you describe Wyllow. I’m not a Quaker but I understand that very deep peace.

I live my life to the full and for me, my faith helps me to do so Franbern.

Lovely post Wyllow.

Could one of you people with religious belief in life in the sky please tell me why - as that is going to be so much better than the life here on earth - why you pray when someone is ill, and are so happy when they recover. Rather selfish stopping them going n to this better life in my opinion.

Hope it will not offend anyone if I print the words of an old 'wobblies' song from USA in the early part of the 20th century

Long haired preachers come out every night
Tell you what is wrong and what is right.
Listen to Jesus they say, he will smooth all your cares away
Chorus
And, you will eat by and by
In that wonderful land in the sky...
Work and Pray, Live on Hay
You will get pie in the sky when you die!!!

I don't believe in the resurrection of the flesh. That is just one particular religious belief.