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Religion/spirituality

Sign of Peace

(53 Posts)
ExD Sun 09-May-21 13:55:43

After reading a post on another thread (I think it was called Hug or not to hug) I find myself agreeing with a poster who said she'd stopped going to church because of the silly embarrassing custom of shaking hands and wishing almost strangers "peace be with you".
It has put me off attending communion ever since it was introduced all those years ago.
I have written to our church wardens asking if we could delete it from one service a month so those who find it awkward and off-putting could feel at ease. I only got an acknowledgement.
I wish we could have a referendum smile
How do you feel?

MelBB Thu 27-May-21 17:12:10

I was Catholic and didn't like the sign of peace, though understand that it's symbolic of Jesus saying to make up with others before approaching the altar.

Would a Tridentine Mass suit you? Have you thought about Orthodoxy? (I'm a convert to Orthodoxy by the way.)

ExD Fri 14-May-21 13:53:18

Who do we report these findings to? The Bishop? Archbishop of Canterbury?

I wonder if everyone fights to shake the Queen's hand at church?

Cabbie21 Tue 11-May-21 13:40:00

One church I used to go to had a great way of passing the Peace. Two clergy walked up the centre aisle and passed the peace to the person nearest the aisle, who then passed it to their neighbour, and so on along the row. Nobody moved out of their seats, unless maybe to include someone on their own. It took very little time, was inclusive yet not intrusive.I have not seen this done anywhere else but I liked it. Much better than this free for all with people trying not to miss anyone, or unwanted hugging, traffic jams in the aisles etc.

Stormystar Tue 11-May-21 10:43:35

Most of us desire peace in our hearts, a state of inner harmony, verbally wishing that for others can be a powerful creative act.

muffinthemoo Mon 10-May-21 14:06:56

I love to receive the sacrament but I do not love to receive a dose of norovirus which seems perennially endemic in our congregation.

I would hope Covid has improved hand washing habits but I doubt it.

keepingquiet Mon 10-May-21 13:27:25

Yes, it isn't about socialising but part of getting ready to meet the Prince of Peace in the sacrament of Communion.

ExD Mon 10-May-21 11:56:20

We have (had) a huge congregation for a C of E parish and people got out of their seats and went round the whole church, up and down 2 aisles, hugging and kissing and saying "peace be with you".
This, to me, is a stupid expression now that the services have been updated from the old (rather impressive) language our parents used, and prayers translated into "every day" speech.
I usually say "God bless".
But I'd prefer to keep my socialising until afterwards, with the coffee and biscuits. If I really wanted to say the words "peace be with you" I could always say it then.

Whitewavemark2 Mon 10-May-21 07:37:01

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if those taking part in the ceremony actually carried out the promise to keep the peace with strangers?

Calendargirl Mon 10-May-21 07:17:31

Anniebach

I have never attended Church worship where passing the peace
meant people walked around the nave hugging and kissing, must take ages .

Well, that’s how it was, pre Covid, at our main church. I quite agree that a simple handshake with your next door neighbour in your pew was fine, I imagine that’s how it started, then progressed to the wander round the aisles with hugs and kisses.

Completely OTT.

keepingquiet Mon 10-May-21 07:10:22

This isn't a shallow celebration, but in Catholicism something of much deeper significance (like a lot of Catholic stuff lol!) if you turn into into a shallow, 'I'll just shake hands with people I know,' or 'I won't shake hands or even look at that bitchy woman,' or even worse, 'I don't even know that person so why would I want to shake hands?' then it really has no significance whatsoever. It should be quick, simple and sincere.
I get the feeling in some churches it has become much more of social, not spiritually significant, ritual you can take or leave- so probably has little meaning anyway.

nanna8 Mon 10-May-21 01:31:00

We don’t have it at the church I go to now but we used at my old Baptist church. They used to tell us to shake hands with 6 people we didn’t know well. Best of intentions for sure but there was a falsity about it that made me uncomfortable. It also kind of broke concentration on the actual service. Had it been after the service it would have been better I think.

CafeAuLait Mon 10-May-21 00:38:35

muffinthemoo

My granny always kissed us when she was still able to attend Mass but no grandchild objects to a kiss off my granny if they want to live

I'm not sure that would fly in this day and age. Kids are now being taught that they don't have to accept relatives forced touches and affection as part of learning bodily autonomy. I think it's a good message to send children, that they can say no to touches that make them uncomfortable.

Gannygangan Sun 09-May-21 23:52:34

I think it's rather lovely.

muffinthemoo Sun 09-May-21 23:43:22

My granny always kissed us when she was still able to attend Mass but no grandchild objects to a kiss off my granny if they want to live

mumofmadboys Sun 09-May-21 23:11:57

Other people are our brothers and sisters in Christ. This gives us a special bond. I am perfectly happy to share the peace. I kiss my DH, would hug my son were he there, shake hands with someone I don't know well ie I give everyone an appropriate greeting of peace depending on our relationship.

nadateturbe Sun 09-May-21 22:58:24

When I went to church we always just turned and shook hands and greeted the people on either side of us. I think it was a very nice thing to do.

Blossoming Sun 09-May-21 22:52:47

Pax vobiscum and a nod or bowing of the head is an ancient greeting. I wouldn’t want physical contact though.

3nanny6 Sun 09-May-21 22:51:40

Like Anniebach I have not been in a Church service where
the congregation are walking about. In all the different Catholic churches I have attended the congregation have just finished a prayer when we do the sign of peace then we sit down.
I would not feel comfortable with hugging and kissing but wonder what churches that takes place in.

Anniebach Sun 09-May-21 22:41:26

I have never attended Church worship where passing the peace
meant people walked around the nave hugging and kissing, must take ages .

CafeAuLait Sun 09-May-21 22:36:27

When I had an armful of baby I would just look at the person and nod rather than shake hands. I think it could work now.

RedLeggedPartridge Sun 09-May-21 22:36:09

ExD I am with you.

I am very shy and have always found it hard to say hello to people I do not know well - I prefer to hide away unnoticed. I found having to go up to people and give the peace really uncomfortable.
I am very glad it can’t happen at the moment.

Pre-COVID I also REALLY didn’t like that whole kissing-people-on-both-cheeks-thing, when you first said hello, or went into their house.

BigBertha1 Sun 09-May-21 22:27:46

I dislike the Sign of Peace intensley. I agree that it can be hypocritical. I find people go all round the congregation greeting people they know and ignoring others.

keepingquiet Sun 09-May-21 22:25:17

Anniebach- absolutely. Whatever your church and whatever the service a sign of peace is a basic Christian gesture.

Anniebach Sun 09-May-21 22:22:21

hollysteers then what better time to pass peace to a stranger or a friend than the taking of bread and wine .

3nanny6 Sun 09-May-21 22:16:46

Not sure which mass services some of you attend, at my Catholic Church we get to the part to offer each other a sign of peace (which is a shaking of the hand) there is absolutely
no hugging or kissing involved, you shake the hand of the person next to you or in front of you many people have their children with them and they also enjoy to take part.
It is done quickly and the mass moves on with nobody going up and down kissing etc,
All perfectly normal to me.
Once the church opened after Covid we still social distance and obviously no hand shaking for hygiene reasons.