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Have you given up going to church but used to attend ?

(103 Posts)
Floradora9 Tue 04-Oct-22 20:45:03

In our town of 6,000 or so people we used to have lots of churches but they are slowly closing . I cannot say it upsets me because I feel they have outlived their time . I went to church every week as a child not with my parents but with an aunt . I joined the church and was a Sunday School teacher and was married in the same church . After we had children we went to church most weeks and sent the children off to Sunday school and they maintained their link with the same chuch until going off to university. We moved house and I went to church in the new place for a time but found it so unwelcoming and disliked the minister's attitude so much that we severed all links with it . I do not know how churches keep going with the same old forula of services with nothing to attract young people . I feel those running food banks , Samaritans etc. are doing far more good than those attending church but doing no good for the comunity. I felt a real sense of community at one time in our church but no longer .

crazyH Tue 04-Oct-22 21:03:17

I try to attend Sunday service (evening). I don’t get up early enough to catch the Morning Mass. Don’t know how long I can carry on. The evenings will get dark and I will be giving up night driving sooner rather than later. Although, my friend who recently lost her husband, has decided to start driving again at 82 !! Yes, at 82 ! So, who knows …..

Charleygirl5 Tue 04-Oct-22 21:18:31

Floradora I come from an Irish/catholic background on my mother's side, my father went to a Church of Scotland church each week.

I went to a boarding school run by nuns and they finished me off, church x2 a day every day of the week.

I was around 17 when one Sunday at home I told my mother I was not going to church with her. She could hardly take me there kicking and screaming but apart from weddings etc I not entered a church since.

ginny Tue 04-Oct-22 21:29:44

Yes, was once a regular attender. Various things happened and at some point I started to wonder why I went to church and that I didn’t have to believe in any God.

Today , I just try to treat people as I want to be treated and do not subscribe or belong to any particular religion.

Chocolatelovinggran Tue 04-Oct-22 21:30:33

Some churches run the food banks....

Pittcity Tue 04-Oct-22 21:42:08

I was taken every week by my parents. I took RE at A level and began to question religion. I continued to go as a social thing into adulthood, even taking a preaching course to support a friend. We moved to a different area and I never felt the need to go to church
That was 20 years ago. I think I'm more agnostic than atheist.

Blossoming Tue 04-Oct-22 21:50:23

I’m an atheist. I go to church if invited to other peoplr’s celebrations but that’s all.

BigBertha1 Tue 04-Oct-22 22:28:34

We are both c of e and used to be regular attendees until the services changed and were 'modernised'. We both love a traditional service with a good sermon, Wesleyan hymns, readings from theKing James Bible and the prayer book ....all gone now. I know DH has his own quiet way of worshipping and praying but I've lost it all and don't know what I believe in now. It's very sad.

Kate1949 Tue 04-Oct-22 23:35:36

Similar to Charleygirl I stopped going at 16, 57 years ago after having cruel nuns, priests and brothers bullying and beating Catholicism into me.

Georgesgran Tue 04-Oct-22 23:40:40

Count me in with Blossoming
Never felt the ‘call’ and at 71, I suspect I never will. I used to go to Church with my Gran, but as a favour and out of love for her, not God.

ExDancer Wed 05-Oct-22 00:32:37

I don't like the 'peace be with you' part of the service. Some people go so far as kissing strangers - sorry, not for me.

BlueBalou Wed 05-Oct-22 05:41:25

I’m another where a RC education put me off for life (I was CofE)
I’m atheist now. I find going to religious ceremonies like weddings really uncomfortable too.

Mizuna Wed 05-Oct-22 06:11:18

I go to a lively church in a south coast town with a vibrant assortment of all denominations. We have 13 different churches who come together at times. The worship is lovely. Everyone has a warm welcome, as Jesus would give. Churches here run toddler groups, food banks and other community groups.

Grammaretto Wed 05-Oct-22 06:55:07

3 Church of Scotland churches in my town have merged into one recently and the old buildings may be converted into flats.
I attend Quaker meeting when I can.
DiL is a churchgoer and takes the DC to Sunday School but none of my DC are.
Change is inevitable and people vote with their feet.
Faith in Action is the way now, as you say floradora and they are the Carers, the people who volunteer, and everyone who makes life easier for others.

Joseanne Wed 05-Oct-22 07:57:49

I am greatly wrapped up in the church as my ancestors were mainly vicars or doctors. My DH is a cathedral chorister so I sometimes attend services 3 times a weekend.
Having said that, I don't think God really cares whether I worship at church or at home, though I do find a certain spirituality from physically being within the 4 walls of a church. Our children do not go to church. I'm with BigBerthal's comments about a traditional service with a good sermon. I don't like the more modern worship and I don't think it appeals to the younger generation either.

M0nica Wed 05-Oct-22 07:58:07

Iam always surprised by people who because they did not like religion at school, or do not like the current minister, see that as a reason for giving up on religion. Surely loosing your belief, is a deep and serious thing, and is a decision that requires far more motivation like not liking the nums or the minister at your church.

I, like many others am of Irish catholic stock and went to many schools, most of them catholic, and was taught by some not very pleasant nuns. But I could always see the difference between them and what the religion they professed.

By the time I was 5, as a result of going to church regularly I understood that everyone was equal in the sight of God and that we were all sinners and I took that to mean, everyone is equal and none of us was perfect, so I understood that ,even adults, even my parents, did or said or acted in ways that were wrong or at least other than they should be.

These two beliefs have been the bedrock of all my moral values throughout my life and although my parents never said anything on the subject, I can see that both lived their lives on the same principles.

This has given me a sense of loyalty to my religion and I still profess it, but professing a religion, does not mean that you accept everything it teaches, anymore than if you join a political party you accept absolutely everything it stands for and every policy it proclaims.

Esspee Wed 05-Oct-22 08:05:43

I was a regular up to 60 years ago when I stood up to my parents and told them the indoctrination was over.

I am, however, extremely interested in religion and was planning a masters on the subject of Syncretism before I met my OH. We are too busy for now but if I get less mobile I might make a start.

nanna8 Wed 05-Oct-22 08:10:32

I go every week now but never used to. One day I realised how much I had to be grateful to God for and since then I have been a ‘regular’. We are like a big extended family, love and support for each other.

Kate1949 Wed 05-Oct-22 09:50:28

I didn't only give up because of my treatment by nuns etc. I realised I only believed because I was forced to/indoctrinated. When I was old enough to think for myself, I did so.

henetha Wed 05-Oct-22 09:52:02

My life revolved around the church when I was young, - Sunday school, services, bible classes etc. But I lost my faith somewhere along the way and never go to church now.
I miss it though and wish I could get it back. There is something comforting about having faith.
I'm an agnostic rather than an atheist though.

timetogo2016 Wed 05-Oct-22 10:03:23

Totaly agree with you Floradora9.
I could have written your post.

25Avalon Wed 05-Oct-22 10:07:59

You don’t have to go to church to believe in God.

Blondiescot Wed 05-Oct-22 10:11:04

I'm an atheist too. Was dragged along to church by my grandmother as a child - it was my father's one concession to her after causing a huge family argument by refusing to have me christened. Even at Sunday School, I got into trouble for asking too many questions and soon realised that blind faith was not for me.

Urmstongran Wed 05-Oct-22 10:12:10

I went to Sunday School every week with my younger sister. We stopped wanting to go to church in secondary school and mum (who wasn’t fussed herself anyway) didn’t object. As a family we always said ‘nanight, god bless’ to each other at bedtime. In fact if my sister emails me late at night she still finishes with it. I don’t have any faith. I imagine for those who do it’s a great comfort to believe in an after life.

I’m a Humanist now. I think we’re all here just for the now. That belief helps me in that if this is ALL THERE IS, then telling people you love them, why you admire them, why you’re proud of them, helping out and really listening to friends and family is so very important because this is it. No second chances. No meet ups above the clouds. Therefore it’s good to be kind - and generous with our time and money if we have spare - whilst we are here.

I just believe we are all here for a season. Like a leaf on a tree. When we fall, our lives will hopefully have enriched others and memories of us will linger, for a while, perhaps.

TerriBull Wed 05-Oct-22 10:13:36

My Sundays revolved around church when I was young Mass on Sunday was strictly enforced. Once a catholic, it's a rite of passage to throw off the shackles once you start questioning all the dogma and logic kicks in. As others have stated it's an indoctrination and not something you choose for yourself because we are simply not old enough to make an informed choice. Most of the catholics I know, like myself are lapsed, although I will admit to being drawn back for the occasional visit at times sometimes for nostalgia, there's still a small part of me that longs for those days again, even though I didn't enjoy that part of my life when I was going through them which doesn't make a lot of sense confused