Have you given up going to church but used to attend ?

I live in a village where there is an ancient small CofE church. The vicar has to look after four small dioceses (is that word correct?) so Sunday services are held on a turn by turn basis with other villages. I only go to Church at Christmas and for the school service but I have a friend who goes regularly with her DH and even pays over a sum of money every month to keep the church going. All well and good but her DH is now terminally ill and in all the four months or so of his illness the vicar has never once visited them. My friend is understandably upset about this and says she is losing her faith. My point is that some churches are not doing enough to keep their dwindling congregations, never mind attract new members.

Lovetopaint037

ExDancer

Yes.
I don't like the 'peace be with you' part of the service. Some people go so far as kissing strangers - sorry, not for me.

I didn’t like this. It seemed so false and frankly embarrassing. I say my prayers every night and feel there is a loving presence that listens.

This ‘peace be with you’ was a big part of my decision that I no longer believed. Along with the fact that the hypocrisy I witnessed from two close family members who were avid church goers but didn’t have a good word to say about anyone and whose behaviour was simply shocking.
I will continue the as kind and helpful as I can be but definitely no more religion for me.

used to go when kids were growing up......Then my mother went to bed one night and didn't wake up in the morning. such a shock to my life....
tried two churches in my area in recent weeks in search of friendship really. Love the church and hymn singing but don't like 'the rest' the sermon, readings ect. not for me anymore.
there was a man leading the hymn singing on a microphone so loud that only he could be heard, he had the stage. I wasn't happy so didn't go back even though that same church has a coffee/cuppa morning on tuesdays and I attend that as you don't have to attend church...it is for all.
the other which is a minster had those incense things that the clergy wave about.. they made me cough.

I have been a Christian since 1994. I have been to quite a few different churches for different reasons. The largest had 200 plus people, the smallest 10. Apart from one church , zI have not felt truly welcomed or had a sense of belonging. A lot of places have their cliques , and it's impossible to fit in. Due to illness and other issues, I have not been to church since last summer. One person has bothered to get in touch, and it was not my vicar. She's lovely, but never calls or does home visits. Am I expecting too much from my church family ?. I am still holding onto my faith but it's hard work.

you should be getting what you expected but unfortunately it isn't like that anymore. so few people in the churches near me yet still no ministering from the clergy to look after the few.
disappointing.

I am a practising Catholic, very much involved in my parish.
There are parts of my faith I do not agree with and question, so Monica's words resonated with me.

This has given me a sense of loyalty to my religion and I still profess it, but professing a religion, does not mean that you accept everything it teaches, anymore than if you join a political party you accept absolutely everything it stands for and every policy it proclaims.

I too was taught by nuns, horrible, vicious, snobbish women, but that is not a reason to turn against my faith.
I am horrified by the the things that clergy in Catholic Church have done in the past, but the perpretrators were evil, the people who covered it up were evil, but the Church itself is not evil. There are many good people, who are Catholics.
For that very reason, I am a safeguarding co-ordinator in the Catholic Church, which is taking steps to redress the wrongs of the past. I don't want to go into any in depth details about what I do.

I firmly believe that each to his own and we should tolerate everyone's beliefs, live and let live. Regardless of what my faith is, for me, the most important thing is to respect others.
I have experienced religious discrimination because of my religion and we were forced to sell our home because of our bigoted neighbours, who made our life hell, once they found out we were Catholic. Up until then, they were so friendly.

I gave up my catholic faith and am now an Anglican and could not be happier. The church I go to is warm and welcoming and I feel a real sense of belonging. I agree that each to their own and that we should respect the beliefs of others. Kindness and understanding goes a long way.

I used to go but don't now I didn't get. anything from it It was evangelical and pretty dismal very boring Seeing the arch bishop refusing to stand down despite having known about abuse as was on the news seems cruel to those abused and just self serving

I go to a Catholic Church every week.
I’m not Catholic but my Dh and ac are, but none of them attend. Although lapsed , they still consider themselves to be Catholic.

I felt I wanted to go to church and I find the peace and mindfulness calming and reassuring. I , of course don’t take communion and I am not interested in converting. I just like to sit and reflect once a week in the still and quiet of a church away from the rush and disasters of everyday life.

Being a late riser, I usually go for the evening service. But now that it’s getting darker, I will not be going. I am scared of driving at night.

Could nobody give you a lift CrazyH ?
Perhaps you could have a word with the minister.

welbeck - my sons have young children, and it’s bath and bedtime in their house, my daughter has to get up early Monday, for work and I don’t like to bother her. My children were baptised, and I always took them to Church, but sadly they are not practising Catholics .

Marydoll

I am a practising Catholic, very much involved in my parish.
There are parts of my faith I do not agree with and question, so Monica's words resonated with me.

This has given me a sense of loyalty to my religion and I still profess it, but professing a religion, does not mean that you accept everything it teaches, anymore than if you join a political party you accept absolutely everything it stands for and every policy it proclaims.

I too was taught by nuns, horrible, vicious, snobbish women, but that is not a reason to turn against my faith.
I am horrified by the the things that clergy in Catholic Church have done in the past, but the perpretrators were evil, the people who covered it up were evil, but the Church itself is not evil. There are many good people, who are Catholics.
For that very reason, I am a safeguarding co-ordinator in the Catholic Church, which is taking steps to redress the wrongs of the past. I don't want to go into any in depth details about what I do.

I firmly believe that each to his own and we should tolerate everyone's beliefs, live and let live. Regardless of what my faith is, for me, the most important thing is to respect others.
I have experienced religious discrimination because of my religion and we were forced to sell our home because of our bigoted neighbours, who made our life hell, once they found out we were Catholic. Up until then, they were so friendly.

Thankyou Marydoll.
I am also a practising Catholic and involved in my local church as a volunteer in many things.
My DS1 is the only other churchgoer in my family, the rest of them do not go at all.
I have faced bigotry from my extended family, all of them non practising.A few of my DH's family are non catholics and refused to attend his funeral as it was conducted by a catholic priest (My DH did not wish for a Requiem Mass).That did upset me as it was out of the blue and he had always been friendly with them.Apparently his mother faced the same treatment when she married his none catholic father, none of his family came to their wedding but that was a long time ago.
It is shocking the bigotry which exists.

0

I had a chequered religious life until my early 30s.I was born a Catholic but baptised and married as a Methodist. Just as I'd convinced myself I must be an atheist (long story, lots of soul-searching) I had some sort of "thing" (a revelation or whatever - to this day I don't know what it was) and a year later was confirmed as an Anglican. A few years later still, for one reason or another (largely due to the happy-clappy tambourine-rattling talking-in-tongues brigade) I stopped attending church and slowly lost my faith. I haven't lost my belief - I'm still convinced there was "something" behind my "revelation" all those years ago - but I have lost faith in an all-seeing all-knowing benign god who has our interests foremost in his mind. Well, you did ask.

I have no faith and never have, but in the ‘60’s used to accompany my Grandmother to Evensong to make sure she was safe. Ended in ‘72 after I married and she suffered a slight stroke.

Married in registry office,
Daughters not christened/baptised or whatever it’s called.
DH had a humanist funeral.

I had to go as a child. Dad died young and where the hell was god then? Married to a wife beater and again where was god? Battle with depression and there is no one there to help. I’m now a non believer. I’d get more sense from the fairies at the bottom of my garden!!!!!

I was brought up as a Quaker and when I left home I still used to attend meeting nearly every week.

I married in a meeting house to a non-Quaker and since then my attendance has been virtually non existent. I still, I hope, retain some of my Quaker values.

I was brought up a Roman Catholic. My mum's mum and her ancestors on that side were all RC and my GG grandfather was very active in the Church. I went to RC schools and never once experienced the horrors that some have had. The priest at primary school was a lovely man, loved children, and my secondary school was a convent but I never met anything but lovely nuns - many with a sense of humour and a good understanding of teenage girls.

I had a break in my teens mostly cos I had other things to do on a Sunday but always regarded myself as RC. So when I married age 20 I assumed my DH would have no problem in getting married in an RC church. How wrong I was! He had been brought up Methodist but rejected it altogether in favour of Humanism - not that he knew anything about that other than it meant he didn't have to go to church! As a man marrying in the RC church he had to agree to bring up children as Catholics. He wouldn't agree. The priest amended the document he had to sign to say that he would give "serious consideration" to bringing up children as RC when the time came and that was accepted.

When children did come along I took them to church regularly, they were both baptised, made first communion and were confirmed. The elder went to an RC secondary school (though both went to non-denominational primaries). Once the girls reached late teens my DH objected to me going to Mass every Sunday as he said it interfered with our weekends, so I stopped going - and in true style, we never went anywhere or did anything different on Sundays!

Neither of them married in Church. It didn't overly bother me but I was somewhat miffed that my elder DD had her children christened in the C of E despite none of her DHs family ever going near a church of any kind. It felt like a betrayal from her.

I am pretty sure I believe in God. I will never know, of course. I haven't attended church for about 30 years but wouldn't say never in future.