Have you given up going to church but used to attend ?

i go to church once a week ,but just for a cuppa and a chat.The vicar is evangelical ,arrogant, who is always right ,need i say more! Some of the people are ok, but like so many places cliques abound,which i recently had a real tug of thoughts, emotions etc.I recently came to view of deism, i could not see how a loving god could allow such misery in the world, i find theology worth studying, a fault maybe in myself,probably born of a catholic upbringing, give me the child at 7 etc coupled with a tyrant parent! The c of e is dying,rc too in this country,its a vast subject of study too much to put in a paragraph, would i go back to rc? absolute no, the corruption. power abuses , child abuse etc etc.I feel lucky that i have broken free from the childhood brainwashing of rc, allelujah!

As a child I went to church, as most of us did. The only time I go now is for weddings, funerals etc., as I don't have any faith in any religion, so I only go to show respect for other's beliefs. My own funeral has been arranged so there is now service involved.

I was utterly shocked the other day to read about a Saint's bones going on show in a church and the number of people going to see? worship? these bones, I can't believe anybody still believes in these medieval practices.

Yes there is a world of difference between ‘faith’ and ‘religion’. Good point dogsmum.

Thank you Urmstongran thats where I am I think.

Certainly believe in god and have faith, certainly do not believe in religion although brought up a Roman Catholic. So no longer attend any church service unless requested for wedding or funerals.

For those who struggle with the 'happy clappy' type of services, try going to a cathedral if you have one close enough, the service is traditional, the music is beautiful, and certainly ours is very welcoming with several types of services, also things like German Lutheran services during the week. There is a weekly foodbank collection, Traidcraft stall, and apart from the charities supported by congregational donations, we also support the local prison and refugee centre. I believe cathedral congregations are growing, as are lots of less traditional churches, some with huge congregations each week.

I went to church and Sunday school as a child with my mother and brother and sister. Dad never went. Once at Secondary School I stopped going, apart from weddings and baptisms. When I had my children I became interested again. One of my friends in the village was the vicar’s wife. Before I knew it I was on the PCC, then Secretary of the PCC. I helped run Sunday school and was very involved. Then, the vicar became seriously unwell and eventually moved away. I gave the new guy two or three years (have I said all this before?) but after quite a lot of angst I left that church. I won’t go into why we didn’t get on. It’s enough to say that I am a very liberal Christian. He isn’t. I can see the church tower from my landing window. It’s a five minute walk. Now I have to drive to my new church - or churches as they’re several in the benefice. If the ‘new’ vicar ever leaves, I think I would return.

Like others I was brought up a Catholic but over the years I fell out of love with the Catholic church. I now attend a lovely Anglican church and could not be happier. It gives me friendship and fellowship and is an integral part of my life and the community that I live in.

When I was young I was a committed Church attender and worked hard for my community, in which the Church was central. We held jumble sales, ran youth clubs, supplied leaders for Guides, Scouts....we had a Mothers' Union, working parties...the Church in our suburb was a community hub.

A bit like the BBC it lost its way in chasing the youth membership. Young people tend to sniff out the truth when organisations make offbeam overtures to entice them. In trying too hard to attract the young to Church they lost their willing congregation because their words of comfort and the purpose of their role as a congregation had been degraded.

When I was an active member of the Church coming together to worship was natural because we all knew other and supported each other. It was a collective act of peace, reflection and encouragement to reset the week.

I think spirituality develops slowly and gently as we mature, as does genuine caring support for others. It can't be forced but needs nurturing by example. Those who work in community pantries and food banks, St John's Ambulance, the covid helpers etc are more inspiring in their selflessness and to me represent the active congregation missing from the church.

I have my own personal beliefs and spiritual experiences which are strong enough that I don't now need to involve buildings, church leaders or cliques of people who do not practice what they preach.

I was surrounded by atheists. My father detested churches and had no faith. When I started to think for myself I became a believer.

I still attend regularly and am busy trying to involve our small community in activities in and around the church - not just religious ones, but care of the churchyard, social events etc. with some small success. Our church is very old and I find the thought of the centuries of worship and the difficulties people and clergy must have had in the past more inspiring than the services.

No, we still attend regularly. Church is central to our life.

I had a very mixed background with my father coming from a lapsed Jewish family and my mother being salvation army. But they both thought you should put your religious ideas into practice by helping humanity. Our house was open to anyone on our rough estate to have tea and a friendly chat.
This seemed to be in sharp contrast to churches I have been to where the congregation shake hands for "peace be with you " but then do not take this outside and can be quite unfriendly.
I have a faith and will often seek solace in a church when I feel the need. But I don't go to many services where people chant and recite but don't practice outside of church walls.

I used to go to Sunday school every Sunday and also with my Grandmother in the evenings, for years.

When an adult I used to have meetings with someone from the local Baptist for a long time. I asked to be Baptised and was refused! Because I wasn't a member. Ok. I then left the area.

I went to another small chapel in the new town and got to know people there. It was non denominational and I went there for a few months. One day 2 or3 of them were in the street trying to engage with the general public. I stopped to talk to them. They told me not to. To never talk to them when they were on their 'mission'. I was dumbstruck. I didn't go back there.

I went to another Baptist church some time after that. I did not like the happy, clappy guitar playing music. I knew none of the songs, not a hymn in sight. Call me old fashioned I can't see anything wrong with using the organ which was there and keeping to hymns. This new hand waving, trendy stuff puts loads of people off. I know that for a fact.

The minister whilst being so friendly and genial when I would leave the place after a service then proceeded to snub me spectacularly in a local shop...only me and him in there. I left.

Given up on all of it. I've a family member who is a dedicated church member who treats other members better than her own family and is quite frankly a hypocrite. It's not for me.

A few years ago, my staunch Catholic cousins in Ireland were horrified that me and my siblings were no longer believers. When we last met up, most of them no longer practised their religion after being disgusted with the behaviour of the Catholic Church in Ireland

Urmstogran. that is just the way I think too.
Thanks for putting it into words.

Like Kate1049 . I realised I only believed because I was forced to/indoctrinated. When I was old enough to think for myself, I did so.

My Sundays revolved around church when I was young Mass on Sunday was strictly enforced. Once a catholic, it's a rite of passage to throw off the shackles once you start questioning all the dogma and logic kicks in. As others have stated it's an indoctrination and not something you choose for yourself because we are simply not old enough to make an informed choice. Most of the catholics I know, like myself are lapsed, although I will admit to being drawn back for the occasional visit at times sometimes for nostalgia, there's still a small part of me that longs for those days again, even though I didn't enjoy that part of my life when I was going through them which doesn't make a lot of sense

I went to Sunday School every week with my younger sister. We stopped wanting to go to church in secondary school and mum (who wasn’t fussed herself anyway) didn’t object. As a family we always said ‘nanight, god bless’ to each other at bedtime. In fact if my sister emails me late at night she still finishes with it. I don’t have any faith. I imagine for those who do it’s a great comfort to believe in an after life.

I’m a Humanist now. I think we’re all here just for the now. That belief helps me in that if this is ALL THERE IS, then telling people you love them, why you admire them, why you’re proud of them, helping out and really listening to friends and family is so very important because this is it. No second chances. No meet ups above the clouds. Therefore it’s good to be kind - and generous with our time and money if we have spare - whilst we are here.

I just believe we are all here for a season. Like a leaf on a tree. When we fall, our lives will hopefully have enriched others and memories of us will linger, for a while, perhaps.

I'm an atheist too. Was dragged along to church by my grandmother as a child - it was my father's one concession to her after causing a huge family argument by refusing to have me christened. Even at Sunday School, I got into trouble for asking too many questions and soon realised that blind faith was not for me.

You don’t have to go to church to believe in God.

Totaly agree with you Floradora9.
I could have written your post.

My life revolved around the church when I was young, - Sunday school, services, bible classes etc. But I lost my faith somewhere along the way and never go to church now.
I miss it though and wish I could get it back. There is something comforting about having faith.
I'm an agnostic rather than an atheist though.

I didn't only give up because of my treatment by nuns etc. I realised I only believed because I was forced to/indoctrinated. When I was old enough to think for myself, I did so.