quaker meetings

Oe of my ex husband's aunts was a quaker. I only met her a few times but she seemed a lovely lady. I attended a leaving party for her son who was moving to Nicaragua - I think to work for a charity - held in the quaker meeting house. Her husband refused to attend as he was opposed to his son going out there. Sadly he was killed in an accident while in Nicaragua.

I recently wanted to donate some clothes to the homeless in my home town and discovered that one of the organisations that runs a day centre for the homeless is based in a quaker meeting house where they provide clothing meals and advice.

It all seems to fit with an ethos of kindness, peace and a desire to live at one with everyone. My ex's aunt used to buy Christmas presents from Oxfam's merchandise and I still have a set of mugs she gave us.

I am C of E and Quakers have always intrigued me. I woud like to go to a meeting one day. I was interested to see a glimpse on a programme recently featuring Sheila Hancock. Do let us know how you get on red1 if you do go to a meeting.

I live in an independant living flat, one of our ladies is or was a quaker,, I went down to the coffee morning when I first came here and she told me I was someone who no one wants to be around. I had lost all of my family and I had no one. Kindness would have been appreciated.

See if their style suits you. They can be aggressively reasonable! But they’re absolutely harmless and aren’t after you money.

My parents married in 1942 in a Quaker meeting at a small meeting house in the home counties. Their marriage certificate is beautifully worded and was signed by all those present at the meeting. Some years ago I discovered that two of those were uncles of the husband of a friend of mine - up here in the north. Both my parents are buried in a Quaker burial ground alongside some very famous local Quakers. All the headstones are exactly the same with the same form of wording.

The point no-one has mentioned to date - they are about 400 years ahead of the curve re equality of the sexes.

There are still churches to this day (eg Brethren anyone...) that don't believe women are equal, ie anyone can speak...provided they are a man. Women are relegated to helpmate role.

Society as a whole still doesnt have full equality for women. It's a long way down the road to what it was - but it ain't there yet. Try deciding to do equity release on your home for instance - and a man of exact same age in exact same value of house will be given more than a woman would and loads of people believe the excuse given for that (ie "Ah...but the average man doesn't live as long as the average woman"). Easily remedied - just change the actuarial tables to be "people" - rather than "men" and "women". Job done. That's not the only inequality still existent even in our Western society here - but it's the first one that came to mind. That's not to mention various outdated societal attitudes many people still have....

I've known several Quakers and others who simply found the meetings calming and welcoming. They were all, without exception, people I liked and admired. One was my cousin's daughter who sadly died in her late 40s leaving 3 teenage children. She knew she was dying and felt the Quakers meetings helped her to cope.

Earthmother9

I live in an independant living flat, one of our ladies is or was a quaker,, I went down to the coffee morning when I first came here and she told me I was someone who no one wants to be around. I had lost all of my family and I had no one. Kindness would have been appreciated.

I think this person was like that in spite of being a Quaker rather than because they were. It certainly seems very unquakerly to me and not at all typical.

I visited a Quaker meeting some while back and found it very tranquil - and welcoming. I went just to learn what it was like

There are still a number of Friends Meeting Houses all over the country.

Quaker Meetings are usually characterized by their calm and peacefulness

From my own experience on knowing the children of Quakers over the years.

They are very, tolerant, intelligent and modest people who try to do good for the community in general

Hard work and industry, and looking afteer people used to be mark of the Quaker..Think Cadburys. Rowntrees, Fry and Terrys.

We could still. learn a lot from them

Best Regards

😻

I know someone who attended Quaker Meetings for years but never became a member. When asked why she said she didn't think she was good enough .
When it was suggested that perhaps the Quakers were afraid they weren't good enough for her, she did become a member. Others don't take the plunge to join for various reasons. I became a member in my teens and we had a Quaker wedding.

Sorry you had that bad experience Earthmother

In the 1980s a Quaker peace caravan with a drama group was touring Britain acting thought-provoking plays often to Schools.

I asked our local high school if they would host the players.

The headteacher asked a few questions and then said "I lived next door to some Quakers once. They were nice people. Yes you can come to perform to the 6th form"

So it seems a lot rested on the individual experiences.

When my father joined his new school at the age of 13( after his father had been berated for sending his only son to a state school) dad was asked( this was between WW1 and WW2) which branch of the Combined Cadet Force he wished to join
He replied that as he had no wish to learn how to kill anyone ( even Germans) he had no answer Their reply was to suggest he explain his lack of patriotism to the whole school in assembly This he did and was ignored completely by his class mates who thought him treacherous.
However, he was also very athletic and within the year was promoted to being Captain of all sports. His political views no longer counted
All went well until the war came

He was similarly boycotted which my mother found most trying. She could not bring herself to tell me the truth when I asked what he had done during the war aand said his health had been too bad to participate

In fact he joined the AFS and spent the was years firefighting in Manchester
He also joined the Quakers in which he found some consolation. I do not believe my mother ever accompanied him to the Friend's Meeting House.He always remained true to his principles though, which may have afforded him some consolation

My father was not called up until near the end of WWII when he was 'invited' to join the airforce. Luckily the war ended when it did, as he was a conscientious objector and he would have refused to fight.

He did a great deal of war work which included rescuing people and treating casualties during the London Blitzkrieg, assembling gas masks and fire watch on top of the BBC building as well as continuing with his demanding day job.

Interesting story widgeon.

My dad was a New Zealander, he was also a historian who knew a lot about war. When world war 2 began, he was in England teaching at a boys' boarding school. He immediately joined up with patriotic fervour.
However after training on Salisbury plain for several months he realised he didn't wish to be part of the war machine. He came out as a conscientious objector, risking being ostracised and ridiculed as a coward.
His CO was sympathetic and made excuses for him, but the NZ army were furious. NZ had taken a heavy toll in the first World War. Gallipoli, especially, was carnage.

He spent the war teaching history and sport at the school evacuated to rural England.
Ironically his best friend, a NZer, who joined the RAF and was a war hero lived into old age whereas my dad was killed in a civilian air crash when I was a small child.

I would love to have talked to him about his feelings and views.

red1

Im thinking of visiting a quaker meeting anyone have any experience,ive read a brief background in the beliefs but they seem a little lofty? i guess that applies to all religions, but then some say quakerism is not a religion, im confused!

It isn’t in itself a religion it’s a denomination of Christianity; as such it comes under the description nonconformist.

hallgreenmiss

red1

Im thinking of visiting a quaker meeting anyone have any experience,ive read a brief background in the beliefs but they seem a little lofty? i guess that applies to all religions, but then some say quakerism is not a religion, im confused!

It isn’t in itself a religion it’s a denomination of Christianity; as such it comes under the description nonconformist.

..and to make matters even more confusing (possibly....) though it originated in Christianity and I would say has Christian values and probably many?/most? are Christians - it is nevertheless the case that no-one bothers if you're some other religion or no religion at all (ie might best be described as humanist).

keepingquiet

They seem eminently achievable to me, and therefore very practical. The problem is some people are not even willing to try...

Wholeheartedly seconded

I went to my first Quaker meeting today and enjoyed it. Very nice accepting bunch of people and it was lovely to sit in contemplative quiet with others. If you’re still hovering over whether or not to go, then just go, it might be right for you.

thanks for replies, i went to a meeting, the people very welcoming, but i observed they were mostly middle or a higher class, elderly ,female.I am well versed in meditation, but the silence was broken by someone standing and giving ministry, which for me had little relevance to anything for me at least.This put me on edge and i was unable to really settle again. I collected some leaflets to find they had very little centred beliefs.There is the central tenets ,but thats up for debate! Sadly quakerism is not for me.

red1

thanks for replies, the tenets of quakerism are, truth, equality, simplicity and peace, in this crazy, broken world they don't seem achievable or practical ,that why i used the word, lofty.

Take a look at the immense amount of practical good Quakers do and have achieved in society; you might be very surprised .

The Quakers are the only religious organisation that I have any time for. They have been at the forefront of many very important campaigns - and they are not afraid to support unpopular causes such as penal reform.

I would love to go to a Quaker meeting but, though I have great respect for the teachings of Jesus, I do not believe in God and I can't describe myself as a Christian. Also, I believe Quakers are supposed to be be wholly vegetarian and not drink alcohol. However, I think it would be nice to experience the feeling of being in the midst of people who try to banish hatred from their hearts and replace it with love - even in the most challenging circumstances.

My late second cousin was Trans and was accepted readily by the Quakers.

Eleothan, don’t let any of these things stop you from attending a Quaker meeting - modern Quakers do not specify belief in a deity or ‘being a Christian’ as being necessary to participate in what is usually referred to as ‘meeting for worship’. Neither are all Quakers vegetarian/vegan, though many are and it is certainly encouraged. If you contact your local meeting, you could explain your concerns and will almost certainly be reassured.

Quakers believe that every individual has that of God within them; this places the Friends close to Humanism.

Earthmother9

I live in an independant living flat, one of our ladies is or was a quaker,, I went down to the coffee morning when I first came here and she told me I was someone who no one wants to be around. I had lost all of my family and I had no one. Kindness would have been appreciated.

Is it possible you may have misunderstood or misheard the woman?Whatever her religion was or is , it seems an irrational thing to say to anyone especially at a coffee morning.

If it happens again that this woman makes herself unpleasant tell her to go away ,or to drop dead.