A polite request for some bloody manners!

Sorry. Was going by mine (feathers).

We're not supposed to give advice to our DC or DCIL so perhaps playing agony aunt fulfils a need - and perhaps too we missed our vocations

However, some problems do seem to be very odd these days and if a poster disappears it does make you wonder if they are genuine or not.
Then again, there's nowt so strange as folk

I do agree with the offering advice bit. A thread will often go into many pages of posters wondering whether the OP is for real but it's then peppered with advice from posters who clearly haven't read back or don't care what's already been posted. They just want their advice to be counted.

Even if it's pointless.

Though some (usually new) posters get such short shrift from GN regulars that I’m surprised if they ever come back. They’re not going to thank us if they’ve had a virtual kicking, or if the first half dozen posts are speculating as to whether they’re 14 year olds having a laugh.

Precisely Maggiemaybe!!

The trouble is twofold I think first we have been played by a lot of silly posters recently, maybe kids, maybe people with Just enjoy mischief making, so probably are all a bit more on the lookout, and secondly some posters post a problem simply to get ‘ Ah poor you’ answers and really don’t like it if they are given advice that doesn’t fit with how they see themselves or puts them in the wrong Sometimes it’s glaringly obvious why they have a problem but they don’t want to hear that

Don't get me started!!

When I posted for the first time I was in a bad way and asking for constructive advice. In fact I felt I was shot down in flames and was made to feel the bad guy. I cannot remember if I replied to anyone but I certainly didn’t feel like it. Good manners works both ways I think.

Yes I agree dragonfly it does work both ways. It would also be interesting to know how an OP resolved their problem and if they were ok afterwards - or not.

I understand that some posters might feel reluctant to reappear but now and again the op was a little unclear and gn's ask for a bit more detail so that advice can be more helpful. When the op doesn't come back it's a bit frustrating. I'm with Phoenix on this.

I have gleaned a lot of wisdom from grans' replies to myself and to others. It matters not a lot to me whether the original poster returns it's the conversation that matters to me. If anything I'm glad that original posters raised the question at all so alerting others to some point that was worth making.

We have been campaigning for ages for the OPs' subsequent posts to be coloured in green. Some may have come back and commented or even thanked for advice given but their posts swamped by all the commiserations and advice.

I agreed with Phoenix in the OP but then I found I also agreed with later posts suggesting what goes on in the minds of people who ask these questions and why they don't post again. They usually have enough to chew on.

Also, first-time posters may be expecting to be notified by e-mail if someone has contributed to the thread they have started and are thinking they have been ignored completely.

Completely agree, subsequent OP posts to be highlighted in green; if a thread goes on for pages it's very difficult and time-consuming going backwards to find these.

A word of warning:

The Easter school holidays start this week in some areas!

I'm not sure it really matters whether an OP responds to posters' views and suggestions on an issue or a dilemma.

Often the topics raised are of general interest anyway and may be helpful to those who are experiencing similar issues.

I suppose it is possible that some OPs just want responses that support their stance and when they see several replies that are critical of their views or behaviour they feel offended or lose interest. It seems a bit silly but it's a free country and they can withdraw from the discussion if they wish to.

There are a few posts that seem rather suspicious but there's no need to engage in the discussion if you feel it is a bit of a wind up.

I always assume that the OP is having a crisis and is distracted so doesn’t reply (this has happened to me!) or that they are suffering from depression. I don’t assume that they are being rude or winding up!?

jalima

I hope you're ready with your welcome mat kittylester

If necessary!!

Oh for goodness sake!

I rarely respond to family dramas from a poster whose name I don't recognize, unless they continue to post and explain further.

You can tell from the written style that they're often a load of rubbish and not real!

If members choose to engage that's their business.

Gonegirl…..What you said... in triplicate!!

Have noticed the OP has not come back to comment ?

dragonfly Phoenix did come back repeatedly yesterday, maybe she is busy today?

I wonder if some people, having posted the anguish of their souls, then feel ashamed for opening up so much to complete strangers and don't dare come back?

Of course, all the other reasons are true as well: getting a kicking; critical comments which imply it's all the poster's fault; only posting because they want validation of their opinions (there's a heck of a lot of that goes on here, I blame Facebook ) and just not finding the answers relevant to their particular issue.

Speaking of old posts, I just saw one pop up which originated in 2012! I commented on the latest, April one, anyway - no show without Punch