Do you know what?

Lucca no-one wants GN to become "Sweetness and light, recipes and housework!" just an acceptance that some people have differing opinions - and have a right to do so

Furret, I may have joined about then,but maybe avoided it. I used to get the email and just click on the suggested threads,then I found the active button?. For me it sometimes feels that particular groups or people target particular groups or people whatever they post. I may be wrong and I'm hopeless at remembering names which doesnt help. Certainly on some threads theres a feeling of something that goes beyond heated debate.

Oldwoman70

Lucca no-one wants GN to become "Sweetness and light, recipes and housework!" just an acceptance that some people have differing opinions - and have a right to do so

Absolutely agree with you ! The differing opinions must be allowed....
Both ways !
My remark about housework was a tongue in cheek as there has been and probably still is a spectacularly long thread about washing dishcloths........

I have met up with several GN members in real life and we talked and talked for hours.

The amazing thing is although on the political threads we are total opposites, face to face we got on really well?

Ha ha, yes the dishcloths!
Do you lot get all airiated about loo brushes?
Some of the nastiest comments Ive seen on Mumsnet have been on loo brush and 'how often to you wash your bedding?' threads!
See also 'bathroom bin'.

We are living in high stress times and that is reflected in some of the posts, especially those about coronavirus and the government's handling of it - people are bound to have strong views about that. Strong views, strongly expressed.

I leave threads as soon as any hint of a spat hoves into view.

Spats defined as arguments becoming personal and vindictive; not reasoned differences of opinion. .

I think it's a shame that people feel the need to put 'lighthearted thread' in brackets after the title these days.

It never used to be necessary - we all knew it was lighthearted!

I think the OP is not referring to political threads though, Luckygirl, where obviously one would expect dissent and arguments. There have been “silly” threads, which, if people took them seriously, wasted their time and effort - possibly to the amusement of the OP of that thread. Other GN members posted humorous responses and this was somehow interpreted as bullying.....

I was reported for bullying when I questioned the identity of a poster. The GNHQ email told me off as it is not in the spirit of GN to do this but sometimes it is hard not to when a new poster is taking the piss.
I have been here for years and I agree that if posters feel they have to put (lighthearted) or ask posters to be kind, then all is not well.

Anniebach

I have been on GN for some years, because of circumstances
my only friends were here, many don’t post now, I don’t post much, but stay because there are still some friends here.

I don’t like Gransnet now.

It has changed, hasn't it, Anniebach.
I had noticed that you rarely post now, which is sad. But I realise why.

GN is a lifeline for some, especially in these strange times.

Think you’ve had a hard time on here though lately Phoenix! Yesterday’s was really OTT.
Yes, Lucca, I too think it was uncalled for .

FannyC there is a long thread about washing cleaning cloths

And yes, there was a thread about loo brushes not long ago.

Opinions vary.

As many of us have no idea what Phoenix is talking about, it is hard to comment.

It is an internet Forum - posters do not have 'identities' and the rules are quite clear in this matter.

Attacks are unpleasant, for sure. Difference of opinion, hopefully based on facts and with links given when possible - is not an attack.

Making anonymous attacks in vague terms, as in 'certain posters' - I would say is much more unpleasant and insidious in the extreme, as those 'certain posters' cannot reply to said attacks.

As said above, tensions are high- because we find ourselves in an unprecendented crisis- which is affecting many posters to a vast extent in a way that has never happened before.

Back to dishcloths and Bake off.

There is absolutely NO need at all for anyone to get involved with any thread which does not interest them, or which they find not to their taste, or controversial, or ... whatever. Quite simple, really.

As a new-ish member, I don’t really know what it was like ‘before’, but as a newbie I read through all the posts that were trending and I have come to the following conclusions:

The written word often makes it difficult to differentiate between banter and (for want of a better word) unpleasantness - I would hesitate to use the word bullying.

During the last few months I have seen threads of a very doubtful nature where I doubt the OP was genuine, this caused me to refrain from commenting, as I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t want to get mixed up with it, feeling it was a scam.

On less light hearted posts there are often very serious, sometimes militant posters, who will often deride comments made by anyone opposing their views. There is no question that they could be wrong, and when they are, as happened recently, this is not admitted.

Over the course of time members have formed friendships, and as is to be expected, there are “in jokes“. This is often misinterpreted by newer members who are unaware of the background. Personally, I made use of the Search function and read the back stories to make it all make sense.

I struggle to put my final point tactfully...... when beginning improbable and/frivolous threads, the OP is laying themselves open to ribbing, and by continuing to post, is obviously happy for this to continue. I don’t believe there is any malice here, just banter.

Having said all that, in every barrel there will be one or two bad apples who cause genuine distress, but I do hope that various long time contributors will not leave. Gransnet has helped so many in these difficult times, even when it is just getting annoyed about something other than the virus.

The search function doesn't work for me at all.
It always says 'no search results'

FannyCornforth I am using an iPad, I gather some problems are different on laptops and phones. I use the User name, and that generally sets a trail to follow.

Grannybags

I think it's a shame that people feel the need to put 'lighthearted thread' in brackets after the title these days.

It never used to be necessary - we all knew it was lighthearted!

I agree and I refuse to do it.

If posters can't recognise a light hearted/tongue in cheek thread when they see one it's their problem.

I have had my wrist slapped a few times for my dry sense of humour but recently I have only wanted to learn the truth and that has not been forthcoming.

Lisagran
Your post @ 09.52.
In a nut shell ?

Some people just like to have a spat. It is really difficult when someone has posted asking for advice/opinions and one person comes along and says something offhand then the next poster admonishes them for what they have said, all the time ignoring what the post was about in the first place. This then becomes a battle of wills between other people and is of no possible help to the original poster. There is no rhyme nor reason to some people's behaviour but they seem to get a kick out of it. How many of them would behave like this in real life instead of hiding behind their anonymity on GN.

I know I'm probably going to get flak for this but.......... I find the contentious discussions can be hilarious.

DiscoGran

I know I'm probably going to get flak for this but.......... I find the contentious discussions can be hilarious.

Sshhhh! Me too.

I see some names and think “oh here we go”.

There was a thread about pink/purple dresses that went on and on .... and on. Also the cold tea malarkey. The variety of topics discussed can go from serious to silly.