Are you having a New Year break, GNHQ?

Hypothetically the nuisance PM sender could continue to send unwanted PMs but, once one had cottoned onto that, surely one simply wouldn't look until GNHQ had done whatever they're able to do and told one so.

Marydoll

That's a fair point eazybee, but that's not really what I am concerned about. That is their choice to do that.

Hypothetically, what if a vulnerable poster receives an unsolicited and unpleasant PM from someone, which greatly upsets them and nothing is done because there were no moderators available ?

I know of a poster in the last few weeks, who has left GN because of an unsolicited, nasty PM about a post she wrote.
People who send PMs like that should be dealt with immediately.

I agree.
What a shame that some posters have to be so awful.
Disagree in public with others, it’s cowardly and shameful to do this by pm.

Would you get a ban for sending an abusive pm? You ought to, surely.
MN seems to be a lot stronger on stuff than on here.

I think you would get a ban for an abusive or pestering PM on Gransnet too, fannyc.

I speak from experience Baggs. I received a PM when I was in a very dark place. The poster didn't know me, totally misinterpreted what I had said, did a fair bit of character assassination and added some imaginary details about my life and family.
This is a regular poster on GN and it still upsets me now. I am robust and savvy enough to fight back, but others are not, which is why I think moderation is essential. .

It nearly broke me. I cannot for the life of me, understand why she did it. GNHQ did deal with it immediately, but I was left feeling very low.

One nasty PM is one too many! Why even send them in the first place.

Maybe we should name and shame anyone who sends a nasty pm. No need to go into details but just remove their safety net?

It's a cowardly thing to do.

That would be misconstrued as bullying by some. You can't really win. Best thing is to report them and then block them.

It says more about them than you. We don't know what is going on in their lives. Let GN deal with it.

One can delete PMs. Its being deleted by someone else is not going to address any hurt caused by it.

GNHQ can prevent them from contacting others, as they are likely to do if it's some sort of scam.
Or, if it's simply someone being nasty, can tell them to desist or be banned.

At the very least, the person who was targeted will feel they have been supported not left alone to cope.

I did not intend the thread to go this way, just to stress the need for moderators to be available and give some illustrations of what can/has happened.

I have always found GNHQ to be very supportive, which I was puzzled by no apparent moderation over the last few days.

I absolutely agree with your post, mdoll. One nasty PM is too many. My comment about not opening further PMs from someone who sent an abusive one was suggested as an interim strategy while, it appears, GN moderators are not around.

..which is why I was puzzled.
I seem to have lost the plot!

I do know that Baggs, thanks. It's quite an emotive subject for me, especially as I was and still am involved in Safeguarding.

I will retreat now!

That would be misconstrued as bullying by some. You can't really win. Best thing is to report them and then block them.

Sorry, Marydoll but I wouldn't hesitate. If nasty posters think they can get their kicks by upsetting vulnerable posters knowing full well it will all be kept under wraps they should be made to think again.

I agree with Merlotgran on this last point. The only way to stop nastiness by pm is by fear of consequences.

What if the person who sent the PM has mental health issues? Would it make those issues worse if posters piled in and villified them?

I posted a public reply on GN, the poster knew exactly how I felt and how much she got wrong. She knows exactly who she is.
It's in the past now, I was using it as an illustration for those who dismissed my concerns about the absence of moderators. I really don't want to revisit it.

I believe that the facility for personal messaging should be withdrawn from the forum. It allows users to form groups and cliques which can be used to target others in getting posts deleted or even used as a weapon to get members banned.

Should someone wish to say something to another forum user then that can be stated in an open thread where all can see what is said?

Retiredwell. I believe that the facility for personal messaging should be withdrawn from the forum. It allows users to form groups and cliques which can be used to target others in getting posts deleted or even used as a weapon to get members banned

I doubt very much that that is the primary way in which private messages are used.
I think most are used to say something to a poster that wouldn’t be relevant in the thread, or to share a confidence that a poster wouldn’t want to put on an open forum.
Or simply to facilitate a meet-up & clarify details.

But you just carry on thinking the worst of gransnetters and good luck with your conspiracy theories.

Or perhaps I have touched a nerve?????

I disagree again retiredwell I have made a few very good friends on Gransnet which simply started with a pm and they wouldn’t be in my life otherwise

BlueBelle

I disagree again retiredwell I have made a few very good friends on Gransnet which simply started with a pm and they wouldn’t be in my life otherwise

No doubt PMs can be used for very good purposes, but equally, they can be used for other purposes as has been discussed on this forum many times before and has even been pointed out in this thread.

I too love a good conspiracy theory.

Anyone planning on ganging up to get a poster banned would be daft to use PMs.
I suspect any clique, who ever they may be, would probably have alternative ways of contacting each other.

As for posting what you want to say on the forum, rather than in a PM, are you suggesting, Retiredwell, that I post the details of my embarrassing medical problem on a public forum, rather than aPM that information to a friend? ?

Could you provide some evidence to back up your claim that GN has cliques doing as you suggest.?

I know only of a couple of posters, who have been banned and they were hoisted by their own petard.

If GN can't afford moderators to be on duty 24/7 couldn't they just program the site so that a post that is reported is automatically removed pending moderation. At least no one else would be able to read the offensive content until the moderators are back and can look into it.

Marydoll

I too love a good conspiracy theory.

Anyone planning on ganging up to get a poster banned would be daft to use PMs.
I suspect any clique, who ever they may be, would probably have alternative ways of contacting each other.

As for posting what you want to say on the forum, rather than in a PM, are you suggesting, Retiredwell, that I post the details of my embarrassing medical problem on a public forum, rather than aPM that information to a friend? ?

Could you provide some evidence to back up your claim that GN has cliques doing as you suggest.?

I know only of a couple of posters, who have been banned and they were hoisted by their own petard.

Anyone wishing to form a true friendship with someone on a forum or anywhere on social media can do so by merely exchanging email addresses with another person. In that way, personal information can be given with no others but those contained in the emails having access to the information.

As for groups and cliques being formed on this forum that has been discussed many times in the past.

Also Marydoll, you have yourself given an instance in this thread how PM messaging can be abused

Time to end the facility.

I gave ONE instance, but would never suggest the facilty be removed. The nasty ones are greatly outnumbered by supportive ones. They are a source of support to many on here, myself included.

Some posters wish to share info by PM, rather than email. Email removes any anonymity.

Heresay of cliques is totally different from actual evidence. Being a naturally nosy person, I would love to know more about the cliques.

I started this thread to highlight the lack of moderation, no other agenda.

Marydoll, should anyone wish to form a true friendship with another person then surely they would not wish to remain anonymous to each other in terms of real names. In that, I fail to see how any genuine close relationship can be formed when that information is withheld.

If emails are thought to be too impersonal, then a closed WhatsApp group where real names are exchanged on joining are an excellent choice and used by many millions in forming good relationships or discussing subjects not of interest to others.

As I have said PMs on a forum such as this can be used as a good communication tool, but also can be used as a communication against other forum members.