Hide or Flaunt?

Joan - Well if you are not very nice then neither am because I think the same. I am not slim but I'm not really overweight (maybe could do with losing half a stone mainly from my middle) but I have to try. There has to be some sort of self control surely? I would love to eat anything I liked but I know what would happen. There are lots of things that happen to our bodies as we age which we have little control over but weight (in most cases) can be controlled. Although I have to say that up until I reached 50, I could eat what I liked and was very slim. I don't know why obesity is on the increase. People say it's because folks are less active but I was never been particularly active in my younger days. When I was a teenager in the 60s it was very rare to see an overweight child/teenager. Not much fast food on sale though I suppose although I always ate my fair share of sweets and cakes.

I think we all know that obesity is caused by the high carbohydrate and sugar intake of today, and too little exercise. Real fats (as opposed to transfats) have little to do with it. In fact we need some natural fat such as meat fat, oily fish butter, olive oil, avocado for our health.

Remember soft drinks when we were young? Very occasionally our Mums would buy a bottle of lemonade or dandelion & burdock and all the kids would get a glass. That would be it. These days many kids get a bottle each a day.

Fast food was fish n chips on a Friday. And two of us would share one lot of chips. These days it's MacDonalds food with its white rolls containing sugar, meat cooked in transfats, or KFC with its heavy coating of carbs cooked in unhealthy oils, or all the other coated, salty, junk food. Too many kids eat too much of it. Then there's breakfast. For us it was a boiled egg, or cornflakes in a bowl half the size of today's bowls. These days cereals, marketed as healthy, are in fact sugar-laden junk. Unless their mums know a bit about nutrition, and are tough enough to say NO when necessary, the kids don't stand a chance.

Then there's exercise. We could play out and run around all day. Some kids still can. But many have computer games and spend an unhealthy amount of time on them.

I'm 68 now and disgustingly healthy. I don't eat anything with grain in it (bread, cakes etc) but eat as much meat, fish, cheese, eggs and veggies as I like, plus a little fruit. Before I adjusted my way of eating I was piling the weight on, after retirement. I halted it at size 16. I'd have been at least a size 20 now, the way I was going, if I hadn't cut out the carbs.

Strange thing is, before I did this, I was always hungry. Now I rarely am.

I'm a BBW. I'm officially morbidly obese. I do not have issues with self control and I am well educated. I eat a healthy diet. Usually porridge for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and a well balanced evening meal. I snack on fruit. I have the occasional treat. I exercise every day by walking or cycling. In fact I've just bought a new alloy mountain bike so that I can go cycling over the moors.

Should I be ashamed? Should I hide myself away so as not to offend the thin? Should I not eat in the street or have an ice cream at the beach? Should I never eat a McDonalds?

I'm sure you don't judge people by their colour, age, gender, sexual orientation but you seem to think it's ok to judge people by size. Do you feel the same about the extremely thin or is that OK because they fit into society's norms?

You should come to Ipswich, Qld, VQ, and you would realise I am not talking about BBWs. My friend at Writers' Group is a BBW and looks great, because she dresses accordingly, and is healthy. The people I was talking about are clearly unhealthy, eat badly, and don't give a monkey's what they look like.

But why not try the low carb, no grain way of eating? You could have bacon and eggs for breakfast, just the usual sandwich contents for lunch, minus the bread, and your usual dinner, with the emphasis on greens. It is also called the stone age diet. Lots of water and green tea is good too.

After a while, you find you only need two meals a day, 'cos what you eat makes you full.

Thanks but I have no wish to diet and lose weight. I did that for 48 years and in that time ate the unhealthiest diets possible but I looked good according to society because I was size 12. Of course as a yoyo dieter I wasn't always a size 12.

When I was 48 I finally realised that I was simply fighting my body. Some of us are meant to be bigger than others in just the same way that some of us are meant to be taller or shorter.

You think they dress badly but they probably like the clothes they wear. It may not be your choice but then you're not wearing them. I don't like leggings. I don't think they suit anyone but I know a lot of people love wearing them and it's their choice.

How do you know they're unhealthy? Although I eat well if I'm on holiday or at the seaside or just having a treat you might see me eating icecream or fast food. Would you judge me in those circumstances. Even if they eat like that all the time it's their choice.

Are you judging the overweight by their size or how they dress? Either way is wrong. You shouldn't judge anyone for how they look. One of the nicest people I ever met looked exactly as you described......overweight, tight clothes, tattoos.

It seems to me that you're judging the book by the cover.

Perhaps I am. I also get judgmental overtly religious people, right-wingers, racists, and in those cases I am unapologetic.

But I've obviously offended you, so I'm sorry about that.

Yes, some people can eat more than others and not pile on the pounds. We had horses for decades and some we had to feed up and others were 'good doers' and we had to limit their food and grazing or they'd make themselves ill by over-eating. It wasn't that they were eating more than other horses, it was simply that they were eating more than they needed. They had eveloved the sort of metabolism that enabled them to withstand famine conditions in times gone by.
So it is hard on people who are 'good doers'. We have no right to criticise obese people per se, but we can't help but notice if someone is grossly overweight. And when being obese leads to medical problems such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, strokes, etc then it does place a burden of the NHS.
So if being overweight is affecting someone's health then that is a matter for concern surely?

Maybe I am judging - didn't mean to. I am no Twiggy myself. My husband eats cakes, chocolate, sweets etc and is as thin as a rake, so I realise some can eat a lot and stay slim. If I ate what he eats I would be a lot heavier. My mother was very overweight but hardly seemed to eat.
My daughter also gained a lot of weight in her 30s and would have been considered obese. In her case she put it down to baby weight and the fact that she was eating too much junk. She set her mind to it and lost four and a half stone in a year. The people I mean are the young people I see in town, very overweight with overweight children, walking along eating burger and chips. I wouldn't dream of advising others what to eat and I know it's not easy but I just think these sort of people are building up problems for the future.

You haven't offended me, Joan. I enjoy a good debate. I know obesity is an issue these days. In the past I'd have been called stout or a fine woman but since the media targeted us we're now the villains of the health world. I blame the smokers. If they hadn't keeled over under media pressure they would have still been the villains and the drain on the NHS

If someone is ill for whatever reason they need to do what they can to help themselves but it's easy to say and not so easy to do. If they don't fit into societies norms but are fit and happy then why do they have to change just to suit other people.

I have an MOT at the doctors every year and my blood pressure, cholesterol etc are incredibly good...well within the norms..so I don't feel the need to change my body or lifestyle.

If you have no health issues and are fit and happy then good luck to you vampire.

I think it's to do with the way we were brought up and the culture of our youth. We couldn't wear anything that showed a bra strap for example but nobody cares about that now and bra straps are visible everywhere often in a colour clashing with the garment on top. I still can't do that!
The visible panty line was also a big no-no not too long ago either.
Brides dresses were much more decorous- mine had long sleeves. Now you see really overweight girls in very tight strapless dresses, tattoos all over their arms and boobs, flaunting like mad.
I still can't flaunt anything. Too conditioned. I would hear my mum saying "you can't go out like that, showing everything you've got, like a brazen hussy!!!!

I'm all for people wearing what they like, (heaven knows I used to go out with green plastic dots stuck round my face to match my Paco Rabanne earrings) but I wish some of them had a better eye for proportion and style. If only they would bear in mind that white linen is totally see through and does not look good with bright coloured or patterned underwear. For anyone bigger than a size 10 a thong may not give you a VPL but it will outline your buttocks and turn them into vast wobbly balloons. If you have fat legs the least attractive part of them will be the backs of the knees, you will look so much better with this bit covered. The four breasted look created by a bra that is too small flatters no one. If you are a larger lady the strapless, beige satin, long dress which seems to be de rigeur for weddings at the moment will add several dress sizes and leave you looking like the Hindenberg's big sister.

I agree about conditioning. I was brought up to be ashamed of being overweight. It was always something to be fought and hidden. This conditioning blighted my life to some extent. I didn't attempt a lot of things I would have liked to have done because 'fat people don't do things like that.'

Since realising that there is more to life than being thin I've taken up dancing, cycling, walking in the moors, having leaf fights, splashing in the sea, wearing jeans and trousers and a host of other things. I've come to the conclusion that as long as I'm not hurting anyone it doesn't matter what people think about me. I still have to fight the conditioning hence I can't yet show my shoulders outside of my home but I'm getting there.

DD has been overweight since birth (DS was the only obese breast-fed-only baby the Health Visitor had ever seen). I was concerned by children's overweight so consulted Health Visitors and doctors and what I fed my children was passed under a microscope and not found wanting, or too much.

DS completely lost his appetite at two and didn't eat again until he was 13, so fined down but DD remained large. I never expressed anything but health worries, but as she was rudely healthy and very active I never really worried. She is now in her 40s, swims several miles 4 or 5 times a week. All her health indicators are good and when she was badly injured in a road accident two years ago the doctors were amazed at the speed with which she recovered from both surgery and injuries.

She has never been a shrinking flower and believes in flaunting her assets; cleavage and long slim legs. She wears leggings and bright colours and has no qualms about wearing a swimming costume on the beach.

'we all know that obesity is caused by the high carbohydrate and sugar intake of today, and too little exercise'. What we all know is wrong, obesity has a number of causes, including poor diet and inactivity. But DH's family have a history of one or two members like DD every generation going back at least three generations, even when food consumption was less and inactivity in a rural area virtually unknown. We should never jump to conclusions about groups of people. I am beginning to hate sentences that include 'All' and 'Everybody'

Obesity may not be great, but it's nothing like as bad for you as smoking, drinking or the exposure to chemicals that some people have suffered from. One of my schoolfriends was very fit and healthy, never smoked or drank, ate healthily and went on walking holidays - generally putting the rest of us to shame. She died last year from a very aggressive lung cancer.

Go for the shoulders vampirequeen they are one of the few parts of the body where a bit of extra flesh is flattering. Much more attractive than the Belsen shoulders of the average model.

No one has mentioned necks!! Whatever I weigh, my neck
is scrawny now and I won't inflict this sight on anyone.
I began wearing scarves in my 50's and they hide my
turkey neck well - but it's not much fun in the current
heat of London.

wurzel are you in Somerset?

Well said vampirequeen applauding your great posts.

I'm not lazy, or stupid and don't appreciate being told that 'you only need to........' to lose weight.

Display those shoulders with pride!

Sorry if I missed it ,but what is B WW?
I too have struggled with weight all my adult life and am now becoming braver about exposing my arms. ( no prob with legs as they are thin). I get v. Cross with my H who criticises obese people. Other people have problems that do not obviously manifest themselves.If some people's livers were on display they might come in for some flack!!! It also annoys me that people only see an eating disorder as anorexia and bulimia, whereas very obese people also have one but get no sympathy just insults .

A BBW is a Big Beautiful Woman

Does it count as an eating disorder to find that I sat down with Gransnet and a cup of tea an hour ago and I've just found the cold cup of tea? I shall have to make another cup and have a cake to go with it!

Remember the older you get the better you look with a little extra flesh. Thin generally also means wrinkly. No I'm not being wrinkleist, but I'd rather not have too many.

Galen,
No, my nickname came from my maiden name - Bursnall.
When I was nursing on my first Ward the Staff Nurse began
it and it caught on!

I am fat. I have just spent a week with my two DDs. We eat the same amount and I do similar exercise. They are size 6/8 . I am size 18 top/14 bottom! We are all approx same height! My mum was one of 3 sisters. Two tended to weight gain, 1 was skinny... basic frames were different. I do think some weight issues are genetic but agree calorie intake should be balanced by calorie expenditure! joan you must be having some carbs ..we all need some! Do you eat rice /potatoes/pulses for carb intake?

(Atqui whatever you do - don't Google BBW. This came up a while ago and J0 said not to - but I did, and found a different outlook on being a BBW! Yuk!)

Like vamperqueen I'm a 'good doer'. On the occasions when I do succeed in loosing a few pounds I have even more surplus skin. Horrible. So, out of consideration for the general population, I cover up when I go out - long floaty skirts and long sleeved - definitely long sleeved floaty tops. But in the privacy of my garden it's shorts, vest tops and, bliss, no bra.

I was a BBW before it became a fetish.