Dressing fearlessly: throwing out the style rule book

Oops somehow jumped threads!!!
Please ignore the gremlins in my iPad!!

Alea you made a comment about all matching being aging i.e. bags/shoes, and I've heard younger folks say this also. Also heard that it's old hat to have jewellery matching too much.

I made a comment earlier that I'm always matched but wasn't quite clear in what I meant. I really meant that I was decently enough put together (in my opinion) to be seen in public
When I would wear for example grey jeans or whatever, I'd be inclined to go for other greys and throw in a colour to brighten it up.
If stuff tones then I'm happy.

No longer do I save stuff for best.... there are a few things that I do wear but not on a daily basis.... there's nothing hanging in the wardrobe being saved for a special occasion. I don't do so many of those nowadays.

I find it almost impossibly hard to resist the temptation to match or coordinate accessories. Drummed into me since childhood I expect, but when I see the "young ones" combining surprising colours, I find myself thinking that would never have occurred to me.
Different mindset, so not criticising you in any way Coolgran, more of a general observation about our generation.

I have one shoulder bag. It matches nothing I wear but it matches me. Ask soop who 'made' me buy it . I couldn't cope with several bags. I'd be forever forgetting things. All my essentials (driving licence, toothbrush, lipsil, etc) stay in my shoulder bag so I'm ready for anything.

I'm the same as you thatbags.

I carry a fairly large bag about with everything I need in it. On special occasions (not many of those these days) I have a smaller bag and do a bag cull.

The bag is a Kipling bag (other bags available) and it's 95% perfect.

My GP weighed my 'fairly large bag' when my neck and shoulder started playing up....13lb

Her raised eyebrows said it all!

Trouble is, I should use a cross-body 'back bag' but they're awful if you have boobs. Backpacks are ok but total faff as I'd have to keep taking it on and off and resort to carrying it on one shoulder so back to first line

Any suggestions?

13lbs Loopy

I carry as small a bag as possible, just big enough for my purse, keys, phone, a small pack of tissues, small hairbrush and a lipstick.
Anything bigger than that leads to requests from DH to accommodate his stuff, instead of using his man-bag that I bought him some years ago and which rarely comes out of the cupboard!

Just 'ang it round yer neck loopy.

Frontways that is!

Like a Mae West jingl?
Gordon Bennet, I'll look like Boobyerama, bearing all before her
That'll clear my pathway like a ship in full sail , heaven help anyone who gets in the way!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who 'dresses down' during the day at home. Trouble is, everything I buy, even plain, boring teeshirts end up 'being kept for going out' while I carry on using my shapeless jeans and tees round the house till the get too shabby. It stems from a long period in our lives when buying clothes was not possible except for wear and tear and every new item was treasured.

Now we're a little better off and I'm finding I'm almost scared to spend any money on clothes, let alone wear new about the house. Nobody sees me at home, except the dogs and the Tesco delivery man.

You've got me thinking I might just put something a little prettier on for when hubby gets home. :-)

Or indeed for the Tesco delivery man??

No that was another Gransnetter Alea

Nobody sees me at home, except the dogs and the Tesco delivery man

Clearly not uncommon among Gransnetters then!

I enjoy dressing smartly, but always dress comfortably. I have never been prepared to suffer for fashion, not even in my teens and twenties.

I like to know that whether I am spending the day in the house or going out that if I pass a mirror and catch a glance of myself, then I will be happy with what I see. The same with make-up, and even if I am home all day, as well as my skin care routine I will apply a touch of blusher and pencil in my eyebrows.

You do not have to dress in old sloppy clothes to be comfortable. Today I am wearing smart jeans and a big sweater, fine for raking leaves this morning, going into town to shop this afternoon and going out to supper and a concert this evening with friends where the venue is a large old, cold abbey church.

I do not have lots of clothes and rarely go clothes shopping (boring). What clothes I do have I wear regularly until worn out and then replace. I can get all my clothes, summer and winter, into one Victorian wardrobe and chest of drawers.

OK, so are any of you feeling like a rebellious New Year? Wondering what happened to the Mod, New Romantic or Hippy chick you used to be? Is there a creative style guru gathering dust in the corners of your mind?

Come over to my Mumsnet thread PLEASE!!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/2538616-This-is-not-about-crepe?msgid=58396169

I seem to be incapable of being stylish. DD has a large blanket/wrap thing to wear instead of a coat, which really suits her, but not sure if one would be 'me'. I have therefore ordered a cheap version to try (£19.99). Could I have some honest opinions as to the suitability please? I am 5'3", size 14/16 with rather chunky legs. I always wear trousers, straight leg, not skinny, have knee high and ankle boots. And would it keep falling off my shoulders? I hate clothes that need to be adjusted during wear! I am always too hot for coats, but thought it might be useful when the cold weather comes.

Ooh, I like that. Some of these are cut with shoulder seams so are less likely to slide off - though they would slide off me; my shoulders have started the deadly forward rotation.

The classic thing to do, obvs, is pin it jauntily under one shoulder with a statement brooch.

I have one just like this which I bought in Debenhams about 8 or 9 years ago!! Feel dead trendy in it this winter

I've got two, and they're so easy to wear; one was a Boden one, the other is one from Amazon.

I have one to wear outside when wearing something lightweight to a smart events. I find it irritating to wear and would not want to wear it other on the brief journey between car and event.

I have narrow shoulders so anything that depends on being thrown across my shoulder always slips off, and then there is the question of where do you carry your handbag, on top or underneath the wrap? I must confess I also find clothes with lots of flaps and folds mommer me. They are definitely not for me.

I think these wraps look fabulous on other people, but you need to be slim and have long legs to where them well. The danger if you are short and even a bit overweight is that you could end up looking like a mobile bell tent.

You asked for an honest opinion, so here goes. I like the fashion because I also find coats too warm a lot of the time. But I'm tallish and overweight and suspect I would probably look like a bag of spuds. At 5'3" though I think it will swamp you. My guess is the model is at least 5'9" and size 10. If you like the style then I would buy one from a petite range so it's sized to be worn by some of your height, or maybe just look for a smaller one made from less fabric so it's in proportion.

I have just read GarlicCake's thread on Mumsnet but found all the posts going on about ageing when they all seem to be about 35 very odd. The other thing was that they kept going on about being invisible. Well I am 72 and I am still waiting for invisibility to strike.

I think invisibility is a mental construct, if you expect to be invisible you will be.

I'm 60, M0nica. I'm 'older' than I should be due to ME/CFS - and determined to get to grips with my realities instead of hoping it'll all get better.

I actually like the invisibility thing, but went through a few years of feeling rather miffed about it. Well into my (toned, exercised & polished) middle age, people did look at me and it wasn't hard to get served at a crowded bar, for instance. The sexual harassment was an unwelcome part & parcel of all that.

A few years on, the Great Menopausal Mind-Shift kicked in. I discovered I no longer gave a flying fuck what anybody thinks of me and no longer held back on giving verbal short shrift, whether barmen who don't "see" me or sex pests who (presumably) imagine I'll be grateful for a grope. If I were to meet my 30-year-old self now, I'd be sorry for her lack of deep-seated confidence when she had so much going for her ... and I actually think she'd be awestruck by me while also sorry for my lack of physical & financial resources.

For me, the fashion thing's all part of the mental shift that would be happening around this age, disabilities regardless. I want to make the most of what I am now.

What is the Great Menopausal Mind-Shift or mind shift that happens around 60? It has clearly passed me by. The only effect the menopause had on me was weight gain, and that has been dealt with.

I am still the person I always was, I think and act - and dress, in much the style I always did and have never had any kind of specific age mindset. I can see that health problems are obviously going to affect how you see the world, especially with ME/CFS, which I have some experience of, but I remain convinced that invisibility is a mental construct. I get served in bars, shops or anywhere else. I do not get overlooked because I do not expect to be.

I am glad you have discovered Advance Style, I bought the book about 3 years ago and often dip into the website. There was a film came out last year (2015)called 'Iris' and it follows the life of Iris Apfel, one of the inspirations for Advanced Style and still a mover and shaker and eye popping stylish dresser in her mid 90s. I am sure she is never treated as if she was invisible.