Dressing fearlessly: throwing out the style rule book

Oh what the heck! The point about throwing away the rule book is to wear what you like
I am 5'2" and have 4 different "wraps/serapes/ponchos" in different colours. Swamped? I don't think so.
Comfortable? Yes.
Handbag? Across the body under the wrap usually. Job done.
So don't worry about what you think you might look like, give it a go. If you don't like it, don't buy it!

M0nica, I don't 'get' the invisibility thing either. I have not, so far, had any problems attracting the attentions of waiters or bar staff, though I'm obviously no longer as young and attractive as I once was (?) , I do find a nice smile goes a long way and always has. I daren't refer to it as a 'come hither' look nowadays!

I hate wraps, shawls, ponchos etc. Unless you are tall and slim they make you look like a short fat gunslinger ( the iPad wanted ginslinger, and maybe that is better?) plus the fact that they slide off you and you need to be grabbing at them all the time! Buy a cosy long cardigan instead or a jacket.

Plus it's a fine line between dressing fearlessly and looking crazed.

Certainly throw away the rule book, but why wear clothes that are unflattering?

I will certainly not wear clothes because they are considered age appropriate, but I will always, and have always, consider my shape and whether the clothes I buy are flattering to it. I still have long slim legs and I am happy to wear jeggings and narrow leg trousers, but I have never had a waist so avoid anything with a belt or any close fitting dresses. Because I have narrow shoulders I also avoid anything that relies on staying on my shoulders, like wraps, and wide necked clothes and I usually have to do up at least one button on coats and jackets to stop them slipping off at least one shoulder.

If anyone is ever going to comment on how I look I would prefer it to be because I look well put together and not because I am so badly and unflatteringly dressed.

I have several woollen wraps, most from TK Maxx. One red/ one grey/ one black
Then I have the pashminas (sp) half a dozen in different weights, nice pinks/purples/greens.
Weather permitting that's what I'll wear before I'd wear a coat. Just throw it on. If in the cinema etc it will roll up nicely, inside out, and go underneath the seat.

But only wraps or a pashmina, they drape so well, up over one shoulder at the front and if necessary I use a kilt pin to secure it.... high up on the shoulder not on the front like a brooch.

But never a poncho, they are definitely 'a la gunslinger' and hang from my boobs like a circus tent. Wraps are totally different (I find ).

I don't want to wear something that I know will look and feel like a tarpaulin that has been dropped carelessly onto a barrage balloon, will slide off one shoulder into the mud unless I hang on to it with one hand and will let icy winds in at either side.

Not even to imagine I look stylish - because I won't, I've worn one and it was the garment from hell. I would look and feel like an old woman who has had to get out of bed to answer the doorbell and has grabbed a blanket to cover her confusion, then had to let go of it to take a parcel and felt it slip aside and frighten the postman.

elgran

elegran

If you can't just ignore what you are wearing and get on with what you are doing, then you are not dressing fearlessly, you are in thrall to your clothes. What others think of you doesn't come into it. Wearing what you like, what makes you feel happy and comfortable, makes your own style.

Well that's me put in my place
Oddly enough I have had compliments and no comments about being badly or unflatteringly dressed,or even bell tents/short fat gunslingers/sacks of potatoes/tarpaulins/or barrage balloons, but then maybe my friends are sycophantic hypocrites with no taste whatsoever.
Go with it shysal trust your own judgement.

And me too *
Strange really as I have been approached by several complete strangers complimenting me and saying they love my wrap and where did I buy it?!

I too say go for it shysal! It'll be useful indoors too when it's chilly.

At (almost) 62 I've probably bought, worn and thrown out most of the fashion clothes there have been over the years and twice round at that! I don't go out very often so tend to live in jeans or leggings with long jumpers but if I've a business meeting or the accountant coming in (I work from home) I will put on a dress or skirt and top. I have several poncho/shawl type garments that I've thought would be warm to work in but agree they fall off and are pretty unflattering and I have 3 wardrobes full of clothes I've not worn for ages. Most of these have been 'kept for best' aka I've not had occasion to wear them and now they're either the wrong season (too cold/too hot), too tight (note to self diet begins next week) or I realised they were an inappropriate impulse purchase. I've more boots than I could possibly wear if I lived another 40 years and coats which will see me through to the next ice age. Do I dress inappropriately for my age - I don't think so - should I stop buying clothes - definitely!!

Thank you all for the honest comments on the blanket wrap thingy. My main fear is that I shall resemble a sack of spuds! I decided to give one a try because DD looks great in hers and she is only 5' and also has slightly chunky legs. I have ordered a fancy kilt pin to secure it if necessary. I shall let you know how I get on, and after all it is not a great deal of money lost even if I only use it around the house.

Well if Loopylou, Coolgran and I can get away with it, I am sure you can. I was going to suggest trying on a (really) cheap one in Tesco or Sainsbury's, but I certainly would not be put off by the naysayers who claim you've got to be 5'9" with legs up to here

Alea ? You probably are the tall slim type who can carry it off, I certainly have honest friends though who tell it like it is, ( although I would prefer the sycophantic ones.) However the best and truest comment will come from our daughters who are generally fearless in the truth dept on how Mum looks.
The thing is for me, that regardless of how they look, I woukd like them if they didn't fall off in the way Elegran so amusingly describes.

I don't like them at all, so don't have the problem of worrying whether or not one would suit me!

All that material flapping about and getting in the way would be a nightmare, I'd imagine, especially if you were caught in a downpour without an umbrella (and even with one it could be tricky...)

I remain convinced that invisibility is a mental construct. I get served in bars, shops or anywhere else. I do not get overlooked because I do not expect to be.

It sounds as though you are blessed with either a remarkably secure 'presence' or the kind of high-boned beauty that never ages - or both! I am, or was, pretty rather than beautiful and depended, until recently (thanks, menopause ) on external factors for my confidence. It's a shallow world out there: if you've never needed to notice the manifold judgements passed on women, you are fortunate. It's unfair to look down on the rest of us.

I'm not looking down on women who live in leggings & tents, either. I wear the same a lot of the time; it's comfy and warm! All I'm saying is that I'm ready to unleash my sartorial creativity of old; since the vast majority of fashion advice for older women is so dismissive, I'm seeking company while I experiment with what works outside the beige & elasticated box.

Glad you got a kilt pin, too, shysal. I bet you'll look good!

Heh, Ana, if it rains you can pull your wrap over your head.

I use a kilt pin to hold together the fronts of these ridiculous cardigans with no buttons. What is that all about?

My pin has five little owls on it.

I gave DD a blanket wrap which she wears in milder weather. It looks good on her. It would not be warm enough for me. I prefer Marks and Sparks Stormwear with a zip and poppers.

What you are wearing can make a huge difference to your mood.

I become invisible when in the presence of younger people. Completely invisible. Even my death stare doesn't work. I did confront a shop lady in Smiths about it once, but tbh, I can't be arsed any more. Perhaps I will do it again. It is fun if nothing else.

Sometimes I quite enjoy being invisible. Like when I want to nip to the supermarket in my old jogging bottoms and trainers because it's nearly midnight and I've run out of milk (haven't done it in pyjamas yet but I'm sure I could get away with it). Or when I want to sit in a cafe and just people watch and nobody even knows I'm there. At other times I like to make an effort and dress up, and sometimes think I look quite good - and then my DD and DDIL turn up and I realise I'm deluded

I made an effort to look smart to go shopping recently and felt quite good until I caught sight of a frusty old baggage staring at me. I gave her a glare right back then realised it was me reflected in a plate glass shop window. Exit, deflated stage left.

How do those who look good in a poncho and love them travel around? Do they drive and stack their shopping in the boot? Or do they get public transport and search in their bag for a buss pass while carrying several bags of groceries after trying to hold the poncho from taking off in the breeze at the busstop?

Seems to me that it is a garment which can look good when you go out for a meal or to visit friends, or for a gentle walk with a well-behaved dog, but is not very practical when both hands are full and it is blowing a gale. There is a good reason why coats have sleeves and buttons.