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Is it right for people who have dementia to be exhibited.

(49 Posts)
Beammeupscottie Sat 27-Aug-16 10:15:20

Although enjoying the Prunella Scales and Timothy West Canal Journeys, I find myself uncomfortable with having to view Prunela Scales' decline. Part of me thinks that it must be good for her to work but when you see her slightly dishevelled appearance, I do wonder. Is this how she would want to be remembered?

DaphneBroon Sat 27-Aug-16 12:15:25

I would take issue with your use of the word exhibited!!!

Beammeupscottie Sat 27-Aug-16 12:21:12

There is an element of exhibitionism in acting but I take your point. Cant' think of another word though! Maybe just "filmed".

Nelliemoser Sat 27-Aug-16 12:29:55

So do we then decide that no one wants to see how embarrasing it is to live to live with a dementia sufferer, or is it a way to show that someone with all the problems of dementia can still enjoy life and so can their carer?

This needs to be thought about. How about not showing anyone with a disability say Downs syndrome. This could, at the extreme end up with people feeling embarrased to see "those sort of people" out in public.

Beammeupscottie Sat 27-Aug-16 12:44:56

Its not about embarrassment of people who look different, Nelliemoser, I just feel she would hate to be remembered this way.

aggie Sat 27-Aug-16 13:02:14

I am more embarrassed by Tim's dreadful steering , clunk .. sorry .... dreadful toothy grin ... he is more demented looking than Pru sometimes

Christinefrance Sat 27-Aug-16 13:18:21

I think her husband cares deeply for her and would not continue if he thought it was in any way demeaning. Don't forget Prunella has been an actress all her life and is used to being in the public eye. I understand how you feel but think it's more about our discomfort than hers

Eloethan Sat 27-Aug-16 13:24:40

If a person is unable to give permission for filming and what is being filmed is something which that person would, prior to their illness, be unlikely to want filmed, (e.g. being bathed or receiving personal care), then I think that is wrong.

I haven't watched the canal journey programme but have seen clips of it. It doesn't seem to me to be unduly intrusive and I'm sure Prunella Scales' husband wouldn't agree to it if it were.

It seems to me that if we never see elderly people in the media, even if they are a little "dishevelled", then that is making ageing something slightly shameful that must be hidden away. The same could be said for people with mental and/or physical disabilities who look a bit different.

If we want to be remembered as we were in our youth, then we would have to hide away at home.

granjura Sat 27-Aug-16 13:41:24

Agree totally Elegran.

Elegran Sat 27-Aug-16 14:10:08

I think you mean Eloethan I haven't posted.

KatyK Sat 27-Aug-16 14:15:59

I watch these programmes and Prunella Scales seems perfectly fine to me. The only problem seems to be that Timothy keeps saying 'Pru isn't what she was' or such like. She was reciting poetry and Shakespeare on the Venice one and she was great. He obviously cares very much for her but I sometimes feel like shouting at the TV 'stop harping on about it'.

Lona Sat 27-Aug-16 14:20:07

I think the way she gets on with some of the stuff he expects her to do is amazing, however, I don't think Timothy West should be allowed to take out those larger narrow boats because he's dreadful at steering!
I also think that Pru is quite proud of herself, and well done to them both for getting the trips on tv, I love them.

M0nica Sun 28-Aug-16 12:26:04

Dementia is not necessarily a 24/7 out of it situation. Many people for a long time drift into hours of dementia and hours of being themselves when they can make informed choices.

Prunella Scales has given interviews since her dementia was diagnosed where she sounds rational and completely with it. I suspect she is still in that stage of dementia so is quite capable of giving consent and fully understanding exactly what she is doing in this series - earning a living by entertaining the public, which is what she has done all her life.

Personally I think she is a delight, she is showing that dementia doesn't mean an end to normal living that even with a mental impairment you can still continue to enjoy life. This I am sure is an eye opener to many people, both those with dementia or feeling it breathing down their back and those too young to fear it.

She has aged so well, remained so slim and fit and always looks so much younger and fresher than Joan Collins, the other thespian, still regularly in the news (apart from Judy Dench who is in a class of her own)

Auntieflo Sun 28-Aug-16 14:06:31

I agree with all M0nica has said, but also feel that Timothy West shouldn't keep referring to Prunella's condition in every programme. I wonder how much Tim West costs the insurance companies in damage caused by his gung ho steering.

KatyK Sun 28-Aug-16 14:28:02

I agree with what you say about Pru Monica I think she looks great and she really is as you say 'a delight'

thatbags Sun 28-Aug-16 15:47:23

Would those who object also object to someone with another disabling condition?

I have chosen the expression 'disabling condition' carefully to mean anything that hinders a person's ability to do stuff they used to do with ease or a condition that limits them physically or mentally in any way. It covers a very broad spectrum from having a temporary illness or a broken limb, for instance that disables someone for a relatively short time to a disability that someone has had since birth and which is usually "obvious" to someone else, and of course it covers all the disabilities that no-one else can see, which are very common.

And I ask because I think one can look at dementia as a disabling state to be in, intermittent at first perhaps but then permanent.

I think it's a good idea for everyone to see how people with disabling conditions, including dementia, live and manage their lives.

thatbags Sun 28-Aug-16 15:50:18

Why would someone who's had a long successful career object to being remembered as having dementia as they got older? What is there to mind about "being remembered in that way"? It's an terminal (in the sense that people don't seem to recover from it, not that it actually kills them) illness. That's all.

Anniebach Sun 28-Aug-16 16:04:56

When I was a child I live a street away from a house where a person was kept indoors , no one was invited in, my g grandfather who was their minister was allowed to visit several times a week. The person was a downs child, thrn grew into s downs man as they do. In my g grandfathers journals I read his opinion of this persons home life, only child, deeply loved, parents fearful he would say or do something he shouldn't and be taken from them . I hope Pru keeps enjoying her canal adventures, she looks so happy as does Tim, why should he keep her out of sight, why shouldn't he speak of her dementia , if she had an accident and was confined to a wheelchair it would be acceptable for him to speak of this.

I love their adventures and am in awe of their energy

Retrolady Sun 28-Aug-16 16:13:20

I think she seems to be able to say if she didn't like being filmed, although I do get fed up with TW 'going on' about it. Similarly I remember a stage show he was in when he said she was in the audience "again" but "that doesn't matter, because she won't remember any of it." She was there and I felt humiliated on her behalf. Filming is a bit different, because I'm assuming she sees it before it goes out and is able to consent. If she wasn't, then there would be Safeguarding issues and, hopefully, her GP or whoever is responsible for her care, would say something.

granjura Sun 28-Aug-16 20:16:30

hear hear Annie.

Deedaa Sun 28-Aug-16 20:28:32

I loved the Venice programme. I think Prunella is doing amazingly well and the pair of them seem to be having a lovely time. So much better than sitting at home watching your OH deteriorate.

mbody Mon 29-Aug-16 08:27:05

I think exhibited is exactly what Timothy West has done with his poor wife. I watched half the very first programme and gave up. She has been a great actress and should not be used to get him work.

Venus Mon 29-Aug-16 08:36:11

I watched the last programme and thought the way Timothy West looked after his wife was very touching. I enjoyed seeing them and while she can contribute to life and living, I see no reason why she can't be on T.V. I was particularly touched when she said, at the end of the programme, that she would go anywhere, as long as it was with him. Lovely couple!

Mumsy Mon 29-Aug-16 08:51:07

'exhibited' is the wrong word to use! people with dementia arent performing monkeys! Its good that people with dementia are shown on tv as it makes us aware of dementia and helps us understand what life is like living with someone with dementia.

Anniebach Mon 29-Aug-16 08:59:19

Retro lady, what stage show was he in?