I just want to be pretty!

At the age of 14, I was the 'model' for our art class - a face only painting. One girl did a really lovely painting - agreeably not me, but very pretty, our art teacher, a Miss Bell (you don't forget these folk do you) on inspecting the picture, rose on her toes, as she always did and said loudly "No!, No!, No! - D...... is NOT a pretty girl," - so much for self esteem. Obviously did me no harm, but it is something I have never forgotten, didn't tell my mum, she would have been furious, always wanted me to be 'pretty', which I clearly am not, but hopefully my face now has character.

I feel much the same...some of the time. Was brought up and live in tropical climes and feel pretty and confident there, but am lost when I head north! (Like now, I'm ar Rome airport admiring all the fashionable styles around mw while I am in the same old jeans, jumpers and shoes.) And my skin, nails and lips crack and my hair sticks out everywhere, whereas at home it's fine. I try to doll up with an exotic scarf and a few beads...

I would reommend you get a trusted elegant friend to go shopping with you. Don't go all out and change everything...just get a couple of neat, simple outfits that you are confident you will wear.

You say you like skirts... They don;t have to be dressy. A pretty skirt with layered vests (£4 each from Peacocks or similar) picking out colour of skirt and topped with a cardie can look oh so feminine and not dressy at all. It is all about discovering your style. Don't be frightened of experimenting. Oh and short hair can be feminine...you don't have to grow it.

Size 10 ?????? You must look like a teenager! Dainty is always feminine.........lucky you.

I think also have somebody who will be honest with you when you are wanting to update your look and try things on that they suggest, sometimes you are surprised at the outcome, we all get stuck in a rut with the same old style sometimes and it does you good to look outside the box, little changes make all the difference. It's the same with make up.

Look on the website Seasalt - they are relaxed but in my view elegant clothes, tunics,dresses lovely skirts etc. I also agree about accessories can really make an outfit.

I had my youngest late. When he was 12yrs old I was walking him to school going past a house being renovated when this man gave the loudest wolf whistle you have ever heard! My son's chest stuck out and he looked so shocked. He couldn't wait to tell the others that I had been whistled at by a man. That was years ago of course. Now I live in trousers and top and feel nice and warm and comfortable.

This weekend I am going to a christening. I did not know what to wear as I have not worn skirts for years. I do not like showing off my legs these days as I had keyhole surgery on my knee. Anyway in the end I opted for a nice smart pair of trousers with a matching jacket and a fancy blouse. I feel comfortable, I look alright and I had my hair cut specially for the day.....and also to make me feel confident and respectable. Will I do?

radicalnan at a size 10 you have nothing to worry about. You can always find something to make you look glamorous, not like us size 16s! I hope you find the 'look' you want.

I must admit I spend a lot of time in jeans, good skinny ones for going out to Lunch teamed with smart blouse/shirt or nice sweater in winter, classic style jacket & new trainers or smart flats, maybe a scarf, earrings & smart watch. Always have nail varnish on, make sure it's not chipped & for day-time only wear mascara & lipstick. I can't wear foundation but always use a moisturiser.

I have smart trousers, leggings & boots for winter, also maxi skirts, I have a lovely black one & a long denim one, great with boots. Scarves are a great accessory.

My biggest tip is feel comfortable & confident in what you wear. Short hair can look fab with a good cut, mine is sadly very fine & difficult to style so I tend to wear it long & coil it into a bun held with a clip.

Good luck finding your "style"

Very useful tips from everyone Tonic. Invest in a good jacket to go with your jeans or trousers - great with a blouse or jumper and scarf - wear with ankle boots/boots or loafers. If you are happy with your hair leave it - but a good blow dry will give it a bit of height / shape. A tinted moisturiser / lip liner / lipstick and mascara always helps. Touché Eclat by YSL under the eyes is my tip. You are lucky being a size 10 - lots of clothes choice.

I am actually back into dresses - not formal ones but loose,in linen or wool type fabric. I wear them with leggings and big earrings and hope no one is looking at the wrinkles!

Get your nails done no tallons but just a calgel overlay - I always feel pretty with nice nails even in jeans and a jumper!

FB, retrospective, when I used to work with the luvly ladies at the day centre. Used to have a real laugh, lots of banter, as the only man, I struggled to keep ahead of the game. We all lived in the village so knew each other outside work and often went out together.

I have been retired for ages now.

Its all in the detail.
I went on a massive learning curve before my firstborn's wedding. Having been distinctly tomboyish as a child and then bringing up sons, I had absolutely no idea about how to do feminine.
A trusted friend alongside to give me courage, a personal styler in John Lewis(no charge at that time) and then a couple of different make-ups at counters in the department store (I did Bobbi Brown and MAC).
The right bra can make a huge difference. Short hair can certainly be feminine, so long as it is cut well and suits your face shape. Jumpers can also be feminine ~ its a matter of getting the right neck-line and length for your body shape (and whatever else is being worn). This is where the personal styler will be able to guide you.
Good luck.

I think, as a woman, to really get on in life you have to be either very clever, very pretty or very confident. Sadly I am none of these.

I think the best that some of us can hope for is to make the best of a bad job.

When I had my son at 18 I had long, thick auburn hair. On a whim I went to the hairdressers and had it chopped into a kind of spiky, pixie cut. I looked about 12 ! Many years later I would give anything to be able to have that cut again but my 54 year old hair is pathetic, very thin and a complete mess no matter what I do with it. I do have an ok(ish) figure but no boobs or bum to speak of, so clothes never seem to hang right on me. Getting jeans or trousers to fit is a nightmare as I always end up with a soggy saggy bottom which is not attractive at all. I never feel "right" wearing a dress and feel like everyone's looking at me thinking "what the hell does she thinks she looks like ?" I think a lot of it is having very little confidence in oneself.

I agree with what others have said about "finding your own style" which is fine if you happen to find it in time. Sadly, I am still looking for mine and I think it must be very well hidden.

Don't grow your hair - there's nothing unfeminine about short hair! My lovely thick hair is a thing of the past so it's now spiky and chic, naturally a sparkly silver and greatly admired by my husband and my 8-year-old granddaughter, who are the only ones who count.

You are so lucky being a size 10! I'm not the right shape for skirts or dresses but wear nice trousers with pretty tops, appropriate (costume) jewellery and unless I'm having a housework day I always wear a bit of make-up.

I've taken on board that very good tip from Dizzygran about a good jacket.

I never wear trousers. Mainly calf length dresses but in the winter long skirts with hip length tops. Always wear earrings and necklaces. Make up and. Nail varnish. Am often complimented when out by shop assistants etc. and people do not believe that I am 93. Have confidence in yourself and be individual.

slapped wrists for Wobbly, although......he may like that

I'm guessing that by pretty you mean feminine and attractive, not necessarily sexy! I find its a fine line to tread between looking like a frumpy old lady and 'mutton dressed as lamb'! Not very good at managing scarves though always admire them on others. I tend to opt for discreet jewellery (necklace and earrings) and a bit of perfume. Not good at skirts these days, but DH likes me to wear a skirt or dress occasionally. Pretty tops ( not t shirts) and trousers usually.

Soften your hairstyle, maybe a fringe? Try contact lenses and a lipstick that suits your colouring.

Like so many things, it depends a bit on your budget: if you can afford it, I really do recommend getting your colours done - I think they tell you your styles as well these days, whether you should go for Classic or Romantic or Gamine, depending on your shape. I think that would be a great confidence booster - and you would never again make any mistakes in shopping.
If your budget doesn't run to that you could always try affirmations - "I am stylish" "I love and approve of myself" - that sort of thing, repeated ad nauseam.

I have wondered that too I think a nice scarf can enhance a outfit in fact accessories in general I have just got my hair back but eyebrows are very thin and sparse I look different just using eyebrow pencil wish I was size 10?

Wear knee length shirts with thick rights and flat knee length skirts. I do and it looks good and not tarty because of the flats. Get a good jacket leather and accessories. I'm 53 to and I can carry it off so I'm sure you can to

I have used the service at Debenham and it is free, you also get a coffee. They bring a good selection of styles and prices. As someone who has walking difficulties I found the service invaluable.

holdthetonic, do you ever search Google images for outfits? For example, type in grey coat outfits, or denim skinny jeans outfits, denim dress outfits, black knee skirt outfits, etc. There's an American woman who has a great website called youlookfab.com, and is a brilliant stylist, I think. Have a look at Pinterest fashion as well. I'd be lost without these, as I find it very difficult putting outfits together. Good luck!