Why can't I be smart

Wish I had the sphericals to wear Doc Martens. Really fancy the ones with flowers on them, very pretty. Thing is I am generally a bit clumpy, no daintyness at all. Would no doubt have people wondering if I was a tranny. Sorry, binary.

Yrs, there's a difference between "can't be bothered" and "stylishly scruffy/hippy/ bohemian/whatever".

Actually hippy bohemian is lot of work, more work than looking smart. being smart is just coordinating styles and colors.
I'll be honest I would not like going out with someone who dresses like Ethelbags.

I'm tall so I'll never really be able to fade into a corner so I dress in good clothes outside and in M&S Elastic waisted black trousers at home. I would find life easier if I gave up and didn't care but I do care and my family like me to be well turned out. My mother in law managed that till she died aged 98.
I suppose I am my 18 year old self - just very much older. Characters don't change.

i have a pair of knee high biker boots that i often wear with my Pink John Rocher coat.
I love Doc Martins but you have to know how to put the look together.

We go out to smart places very infrequently - less so here in France - the French country people do not even dress up that much for a wedding. We are going out with our French class this evening for a dinner where there will be music and dancing. I am changing my brown fur lined comfy boots for almost as comfy black (polished) ones - dark grey dogs tooth leggings and a long tunic top - knitted wide grey and cream stripes from Asda! will wear a necklace and fancier ear rings probably. I do not like to be cold so a jumper suits me better than a silky top.
In the house I too wear Marks black joggers and jumpers that the 'shine' has gone off - cosy, warm and easy wash.
Feeling comfortable is the way to go and everyone being different makes life more interesting.

Quirky and individual is good. Must be clean though. Jeans/jeggings with holes are def best left to the teens.

The fact that you are asking means that maybe you'd like to be smart occasionally? Nothing wrong with dressing up,or down. If you want to feel a bit smarter I would get my hair and nails done, maybe wear a dress like a sweater dress with leggings and long boots, so not a girly look, add some chunky jewellery and you'd be instantly smarter but not OTT.

Is it your friend's comment that has got you worried? It was very unkind of her, and quite rude, especially if you were offering to take her out.

Good suggestions from suzied and others, though, if you'd like to look a bit more groomed without giving up your own style.

I don`t do smart either, I just don`t have the looks or the figure for smart, and I think I`m getting too old to care now.

I suppose I am my 18 year old self - just very much older
I have a photo of me on holiday with two friends, aged 18 - all dressed in tight jeans and Breton tops.
We were so glad to throw away the school uniform yet we all looked the same
What do I have in my wardrobe? Jeans and at least one stripey top.

Jalima Breton tops are a staple classic. Nice to hear that you still have the same good taste that you had then.

But the jeans are a bit bigger (and the tops)
Oh to be a size 10 again

And I tend to live in boring black trousers these days too.

Just had to google Breton tops. I have a couple of Tesco Stripey T shirts but with short sleeves, bought in a sale. I wear them all the time. Does that count as smart?

I have no idea what smart actually means but can I be controversial and shocking and say that though people rave about Kate Middleton's (Princess Kate's?) style. I find her clothes excruciatingly boring and all the same with just different colours and added fiddly bits. And as for her poor children .......!!! I guess that's scruffy old me down for execution or banishment then!

Stylish is better than smart.

Agreed.

Just found this thread. It seems fairly clear to me, the OP cannot look smart because she doesn't want to. In fact I think she is rather proud of the way she dresses and the fact it irritates other people.

Personally, I think her choice of clothes sounds incredibly uncomfortable and I have never been prepared to suffer for my appearance. My DS & DDiL live in DMs. I have tried them on (DDiL takes the same size shoe as me) and I found them incredibly uncomfortable and time wasting having to be put on and taken off with effort and laced and unlaced,compared with shoes that can be slipped on and off in an instant. Life is too short to waste time lacing footwear.

I think wearing DMs, other than in a work environment that requires them, is a fashion statement comparable to driving a 4 x 4 in town.

ethel you sound like my kind of girl! I too find it difficult to look `smart` but am a bit more casually scruffy than you sound! Leggings, tunic type top and usually a chunky cardi with ankle boots or slip on flats. I dread being asked to anything formal as I have no idea what looks smart enough - one of my pet hates is those ridiculous fascinators they all seem to wear , they look so silly I have to stifle a giggle . My old Mum asked me to buy her a `fornicator` for a wedding she had been asked to , I refused lol

If you are trying not to be stared at you are going the wrong way about it. No need to wear a dress, plenty of comfortable pull on trousers. Worn with a jumper and jacket, or waterproof will look ok. Why a bobble hat, that's like wearing a beacon, take the bobble off and you have a beanie. No need to clean your boots, just wipe them over with a cloth.

I think you do want to be noticed.

I feel blessed if I find something clean that fits and which I can manage to get on, what with arthritis and fibro.

My dad used to say I looked like a gypsy and he thought he was helping me towards being smarter and I thought I was hitting the spot, romantic, mysterious. I now see it is pretty much the uniform of the woman getting on with life, walking the dog, looking after kids and others and gardening.

I enjoy the fact that all my holey garments match, some are warm and my lacey vests are a MUST in cold weather, my shoes are really large now, gone are the days when I could manage boot,sadly.....

Ethel, you sound delightful! Stay as you are!

I wouldn't call myself scripuffy but definitely casual have never felt a smart dresser I am clean tidy and up to date but no brands for me I m not a hat and high heels lass Skinny jeans, hoodies and boots for ordinary wear nice jumper smart skinny jeans Boots with chunky heels for going out everyone seems to like my gear but I m not a Buckingham palace tea party gal

I had to dress smartly when I was working so now that I am retired I live in jeans and comfy jumpers. My only worry is that having also lost a lot of weight in the past few years I don't actually have any smart clothes that fit me. Why do I worry? What would I wear if I had to go to a funeral? Is this a sign of my age or just my general silliness?

From what you're telling us, you AREN'T overlooked in social situations, you're very much noticed!
Actually, as long as you're clean, no-one cares a damn. If you're not happy with how you dress, change it.

I'm getting mixed messages from this post.
Did the embarrassed friend get to you? I'm sorry if you were hurt by her comments, but she was honest with you, which true friends can be. If you really want to take her out and for her to be comfortable then just tone it down a bit. Leggings without holes (the holes are not going down well on here are they?), clean Docs, clean other clothes, and no hat. You don't have to wear a hat anywhere these days, unless religious convention requires it.
I applaud you for marching to your own drummer, but if you dress as you describe you will not just blend in and you will not be overlooked. What is it that you want?

There is a big difference between casual and scruffy ,holes in leggings and dirty boots is scruffy your style sounds fine .