Why can't I be smart

All of the above brings me back to What do you regard as "smart" etheltbags and why is it cringeworthy?
Clean and not holey doesn't seem "cringeworthy" to me unless one is stuck in a post-punk/Johnny Rotten mindset.
And if you are saying "matchy matchy court shoes and handbags, tweed skirts, twinsets and pearls, not forgetting QE2 style perms," well nobody does those today anyway.
So what do you think of the variety of suggestions?

Keep your style that you've adopted but smarten up, why would you be happy with holes in leggings, and uncleaned boots which are scuffed? Rectifying those alone would be a start.

You can be trendy without being scruffy and holes in your stockings or shoes will make you look like a down and out. If you want to know why people don't invite you out, that is why! sorry to be blunt, but there is a time and a place. If you want to be scruffy at home fine, but when someone asks you out you should tidy up out of respect for them imo.

As etheltbags hasn't chosen to come back and give an opinion on the myriad suggestions, I find myself wondering if this was a wind-up ethelt??

You need to be very careful rocking the scruffy look as an old lady. You end up looking like "Rochester's Wife" and in danger of being put away!

DaphneBroon Wouldn't be the first time

The Grunge look is a bit passé isn't it?

Perhaps ethel has gone shopping?

bewithstyle.com/grunge-style/
perhaps OK when you're under 21 but after that?

etheltbags1 didn't say she wondered why people don't invite her out.
She is the one who invited a friend out and was refused.

I'd happily go out with any friend who invited me, regardless of their choice in clothes.

Hallo, Falconbird, I sympathise with you about your mother. My late mother also called me a 'bag lady' and on one occasion when my outfit did please her she said I looked so much better than I had done last time she saw me. I was then in my fifties.
I dress for comfort and to suit myself. Necklaces are impossible when I'm with my 15 month-old grandson. Clean and decent is a reasonable rule.

Vintage - I think my mother and yours would have been best friends. They would have had a good time criticizing us together. My mum expected me to look like I was going for a day in a city office when in fact I was looking after 3 boys and their friends, a dog, three cats and countless gerbils, decorating and shopping. I have to wear cotton now because of allergies but enjoy looking for tops in mauves, pink and blues. I used to wear silver hoop earrings but I'm now allergic to those as well. I do have a number of necklaces on cotton threads and my favourite is a pink shell on a brown cotton thread.

When I was a student my mother used to call me Mick Jagger Long hair, black, paint smothered jeans and a shaggy black fake fur coat - I can't think what she was complaining about!

Haven't been on much cos I'm ill, I do get asked out but just do t have time. If I'm better I'm going for lunch tomorrow with an older lady who doesn't care what I look like, she dresses really eccentrically. Usually I'm working till 7 ish and too knackered to go anywhere, I babysit 2 days and most weekends if not working I have housework. I have binned the old leggings though just left the patterned ones. No not a wind up, I really do feel that people are staring if I try to dress up, I have decided to get some new make up and learn to use mascara, in the past it has just made me look panda eyed

I am no good with eye makeup and mascara is not much use as my eyelashes have nearly disappeared (why, when my eyebrows are growing longer and thicker?).

People won't stare if you don't have holes in your tights, your jumper covers your bottom and your shoes are polished(ish).
Unless, of course, you are stunningly beautiful like me

Hope you're feeling better, have a nice lunch tomorrow.