Why can't I be smart

Ethel, my colourful dr martins dont get cleaned either as they dont tend to show the dirt!

Ethel you are not alone, bought a lovely pair of colourful dr martins in a charity shop. I dont match things up and I dont care what people think, been like it all my life. Just be yourself and feel happy.

I'm not comfy being smart either. But I don't wear Holey stuff or dirty so I feel it's ok. It's what u feel comfy in, but there is a fine line as others have said. Why not get a new outfit of stuff you feel comfy in but if it's new it will look fine if you re out and about.a personal shopper maybe could help if you're honest with them about how u want to look.

kittspurr That was really spooky opening the LindaV Wright blog. I've got the camel coat, the red jumper, the white shirt, and the loafers ( not the same ones )
The only difference was that I would never wear trousers with the hem turned up like that and I would have a contrasting scarf/ shawl.
I have to disagree, though, I don't think there's anyone less like ethelbags who would wear a good quality camel coat and expensive loafers.
She has told us before that she doesn't see the point in spending money on good clothes.

You can wear whatever you want and that you feel comfortable in. However you say you just want to be overlooked. Unfortunately people are more likely to look at you if you turn up at a wedding in jeans. Most people are too worried at how they look themselves to worry about what someone else is wearing. The best way not to be noticed (if that is what you want) is to wear similar clothes to everyone else. You are you and you are the best you there is (if that makes sense!)

Sorry Petra. No. My post was directed at Ethelbags. I'll read your post asap. Thank you.

Etheltbags1 dont worry, thats your style and you are recognised by it.
I have never been "smart", never sure what goes with what, I just wear "usual" clothes, always wished I had my Mums dress sense, she always knew what to wear and what went with it, I didnt inherit that unfortunalely, one thing I always do before I go out, is to make sure I have clean shoes, my Dad always did this, training from the army.
Maybe if you clean your Doc Martens now and then, and as one Gran said maybe not so many holes in things. But just be yourself!I dont know how old you are.

For some smart means elegant and self assured for others conventional and boring. For some leggings and doc martins means scruffy for others it's boho chic. They are just labels to satisfy some people's craving to know where they belong. Long live boho grannies !

Jack Was your post at 11.00 .25 directed at me? If that's a yes, I suggest you read what my opinions are on ' a scruffy dirty look '

*Your style..

You're style is similar to mine. Wear it with pride. If it's confidence you lack, work on that and hopefully you won't give a toss what other people think. If you feel like changing your style, small gradual changes should feel more comfortable than an overhaul.

Mostly positive, friendly comments. Ignore Petra and the couple of negatives. If it makes you feel any better, I don't recall ever cleaning my DMs and why would I throw away a perfectly comfy pair of leggings because of a couple of holes?

You don't need to look "smart", Petra, but it would do your self esteem a power of good if you made yourself look a bit more attractive and added a few touches of glamour, even if they're a bit eccentric. It's not difficult to have clean, shiny hair and a bit of make-up could do wonders. Big, colourful scarves also add style. And yes. Leggings without holes would be an improvement! Good luck.

If you need fashion inspiration check out the fabulous forever site and look on fashion streetwise no models just ladies of a certain age out and about showing how stylish everyone can look.

We all have our individual style. Some of us follow the norm, (me!), while others have more flare.

I was looking at Linda V Wright's blog yesterday and she is possibly similar to the style that you might like ethel?

www.lindavwright.com

Also, take a look at her on Google images.

That's Not My Age is a good site as well.

thatsnotmyage.com/category/style-at-any-age/

There is a big difference between casual and scruffy ,holes in leggings and dirty boots is scruffy your style sounds fine .

I'm getting mixed messages from this post.
Did the embarrassed friend get to you? I'm sorry if you were hurt by her comments, but she was honest with you, which true friends can be. If you really want to take her out and for her to be comfortable then just tone it down a bit. Leggings without holes (the holes are not going down well on here are they?), clean Docs, clean other clothes, and no hat. You don't have to wear a hat anywhere these days, unless religious convention requires it.
I applaud you for marching to your own drummer, but if you dress as you describe you will not just blend in and you will not be overlooked. What is it that you want?

From what you're telling us, you AREN'T overlooked in social situations, you're very much noticed!
Actually, as long as you're clean, no-one cares a damn. If you're not happy with how you dress, change it.

I had to dress smartly when I was working so now that I am retired I live in jeans and comfy jumpers. My only worry is that having also lost a lot of weight in the past few years I don't actually have any smart clothes that fit me. Why do I worry? What would I wear if I had to go to a funeral? Is this a sign of my age or just my general silliness?

I wouldn't call myself scripuffy but definitely casual have never felt a smart dresser I am clean tidy and up to date but no brands for me I m not a hat and high heels lass Skinny jeans, hoodies and boots for ordinary wear nice jumper smart skinny jeans Boots with chunky heels for going out everyone seems to like my gear but I m not a Buckingham palace tea party gal

Ethel, you sound delightful! Stay as you are!

I feel blessed if I find something clean that fits and which I can manage to get on, what with arthritis and fibro.

My dad used to say I looked like a gypsy and he thought he was helping me towards being smarter and I thought I was hitting the spot, romantic, mysterious. I now see it is pretty much the uniform of the woman getting on with life, walking the dog, looking after kids and others and gardening.

I enjoy the fact that all my holey garments match, some are warm and my lacey vests are a MUST in cold weather, my shoes are really large now, gone are the days when I could manage boot,sadly.....

If you are trying not to be stared at you are going the wrong way about it. No need to wear a dress, plenty of comfortable pull on trousers. Worn with a jumper and jacket, or waterproof will look ok. Why a bobble hat, that's like wearing a beacon, take the bobble off and you have a beanie. No need to clean your boots, just wipe them over with a cloth.

I think you do want to be noticed.

ethel you sound like my kind of girl! I too find it difficult to look `smart` but am a bit more casually scruffy than you sound! Leggings, tunic type top and usually a chunky cardi with ankle boots or slip on flats. I dread being asked to anything formal as I have no idea what looks smart enough - one of my pet hates is those ridiculous fascinators they all seem to wear , they look so silly I have to stifle a giggle . My old Mum asked me to buy her a `fornicator` for a wedding she had been asked to , I refused lol

Just found this thread. It seems fairly clear to me, the OP cannot look smart because she doesn't want to. In fact I think she is rather proud of the way she dresses and the fact it irritates other people.

Personally, I think her choice of clothes sounds incredibly uncomfortable and I have never been prepared to suffer for my appearance. My DS & DDiL live in DMs. I have tried them on (DDiL takes the same size shoe as me) and I found them incredibly uncomfortable and time wasting having to be put on and taken off with effort and laced and unlaced,compared with shoes that can be slipped on and off in an instant. Life is too short to waste time lacing footwear.

I think wearing DMs, other than in a work environment that requires them, is a fashion statement comparable to driving a 4 x 4 in town.

Agreed.