Why can't I be smart

Stylish is better than smart.

Just had to google Breton tops. I have a couple of Tesco Stripey T shirts but with short sleeves, bought in a sale. I wear them all the time. Does that count as smart?

I have no idea what smart actually means but can I be controversial and shocking and say that though people rave about Kate Middleton's (Princess Kate's?) style. I find her clothes excruciatingly boring and all the same with just different colours and added fiddly bits. And as for her poor children .......!!! I guess that's scruffy old me down for execution or banishment then!

But the jeans are a bit bigger (and the tops)
Oh to be a size 10 again

And I tend to live in boring black trousers these days too.

Jalima Breton tops are a staple classic. Nice to hear that you still have the same good taste that you had then.

I suppose I am my 18 year old self - just very much older
I have a photo of me on holiday with two friends, aged 18 - all dressed in tight jeans and Breton tops.
We were so glad to throw away the school uniform yet we all looked the same
What do I have in my wardrobe? Jeans and at least one stripey top.

I don`t do smart either, I just don`t have the looks or the figure for smart, and I think I`m getting too old to care now.

Is it your friend's comment that has got you worried? It was very unkind of her, and quite rude, especially if you were offering to take her out.

Good suggestions from suzied and others, though, if you'd like to look a bit more groomed without giving up your own style.

The fact that you are asking means that maybe you'd like to be smart occasionally? Nothing wrong with dressing up,or down. If you want to feel a bit smarter I would get my hair and nails done, maybe wear a dress like a sweater dress with leggings and long boots, so not a girly look, add some chunky jewellery and you'd be instantly smarter but not OTT.

Quirky and individual is good. Must be clean though. Jeans/jeggings with holes are def best left to the teens.

We go out to smart places very infrequently - less so here in France - the French country people do not even dress up that much for a wedding. We are going out with our French class this evening for a dinner where there will be music and dancing. I am changing my brown fur lined comfy boots for almost as comfy black (polished) ones - dark grey dogs tooth leggings and a long tunic top - knitted wide grey and cream stripes from Asda! will wear a necklace and fancier ear rings probably. I do not like to be cold so a jumper suits me better than a silky top.
In the house I too wear Marks black joggers and jumpers that the 'shine' has gone off - cosy, warm and easy wash.
Feeling comfortable is the way to go and everyone being different makes life more interesting.

i have a pair of knee high biker boots that i often wear with my Pink John Rocher coat.
I love Doc Martins but you have to know how to put the look together.

Actually hippy bohemian is lot of work, more work than looking smart. being smart is just coordinating styles and colors.
I'll be honest I would not like going out with someone who dresses like Ethelbags.

I'm tall so I'll never really be able to fade into a corner so I dress in good clothes outside and in M&S Elastic waisted black trousers at home. I would find life easier if I gave up and didn't care but I do care and my family like me to be well turned out. My mother in law managed that till she died aged 98.
I suppose I am my 18 year old self - just very much older. Characters don't change.

Yrs, there's a difference between "can't be bothered" and "stylishly scruffy/hippy/ bohemian/whatever".

Wish I had the sphericals to wear Doc Martens. Really fancy the ones with flowers on them, very pretty. Thing is I am generally a bit clumpy, no daintyness at all. Would no doubt have people wondering if I was a tranny. Sorry, binary.

Wear what you are comfortable in ethel but maybe leggings without holes? An eclectic mix of clothes can be stylish in itself, as long as boots or shoes are clean, clothes are clean and dont have holes, and hair and nails are clean. You will be wearing what you are comfortable wearing, but do not risk offending anyone by looking as if you havent bothered. Not meaning to offend, but hope you understand what I am saying? There is a big difference between casual/eclectic/hippie and bag lady

gettingonabit Your right, Ethelbags1 didn't say she looked like Worzel Gummidge. That was my description of someone who goes out with holes in their tights, dirty shoes and a bobble hat and by her own admission went to a wedding in jeans.
And don't forget: she was the one who asked "why can't I be smart"

I really was a young bag lady. My style has improved over the years, from a very very low start. I did get a bit of direction from a friend and a lot of help from having my "Colours done" and that program "what not to wear" with regard to your body shape.odI d

Other wise I do not do posh dressing, I rarely go anywhere remotely posh.

I can't recall the OP saying she looked like Worzel Gummidge.

ethel I'm not sure what your dilemma is exactly; do you want to be overlooked ie invisible or smart ie invisible but conventional or something else?

Or maybe the problem is rooted in how you feel about yourself?

It's not rocket science.

I think its confidence I lack, I just like to be overlooked in a social situation
And yet your a woman of 'a certain age ' going out looking like Worzel Gummidge.
You ask " why can't I be smart " it's rocket science.

I think it depends what's meant by "smart" too. Is it stylish? Is it matchy? Classic? Glamorous?

If someone said "smart" to me, I'd think of clothing that's a bit conservative. Maybe even frumpy. For me that's knee length skirt with plain tights, too-tight blazer over blouse. Very fussy. And the dreaded black medium heeled court shoes. Or those black or navy polyester trousers that are neither flares nor skinny. Team with a "nice" watch and some ditsy earrings and you've got -smart, but in a very safe, conventional way.

If that's what the OP's friend means by smart, she can keep it imho!

I like wearing dresses as an alternative to jeans + tunics and think I look casually smart - until I pass a shop window and see a windblown little old lady stomping along. I think I look smart when I go for lunch with friends but they have the knack which I lack!

I can either do casual or wedding smart but the middle ground eludes me. I live in jeggings, Ugg boots, long tops, my assortment of trusty cardigans and snood scarves. Both DDs seem to look effortlessly smart-don't know where they got that gene from.

Oh join the clan - just can't be arsed frankly - I wear what I feel most comfortable in.

I suspect that your friends and colleagues would be shocked if you changed your 'look', etheltbags. So just be yourself, but ditch the holey leggings, please. Oh, and clean the boots. You can get away with most things if you are clean and all-of-a-piece. I'm in my winter 'uniform' of cord trousers and woolly tunics and either loafers or ankle boots. And I feel incomplete if I forget to put on earrings of which I have a vast variety.