Would you still wear it?

Go ahead and wear it! It's the bride and groom who matter after all. I certainly wouldn't say anything. If either of you changes your outfit then it still might end up similar to someone else's!

I remember my mother wearing an M&S dress - very pretty, white with coloured bands - when I was small and her friend wore something similar. Being a bit of a brat - unwittingly! - I said to the friend 'My mum's got the same dress; she calls it her 'house dress' [ie not special]. I can't remember what happened next but I bet it went down like the proverbially lead balloon.

So I've learned to keep my mouth shut in such circumstances!!!

This actually happened to me! I had the same dress on as my aunt. It was a halter neck dress. I have a larger bust than my aunt and it was obvious how unhappy she was. It ruined my day because I knew how uncomfortable she felt. Luckily we changed for the evening and all was ok after that. As you are aware and your relative isn't I would wear something else. Can't you keep it for another occasion? If not, maybe take a change for the evening as you obviously feel anxious about it or you wouldn't be asking what we think.....hope it all goes well and you have a lovely day x

I went to a Mess dinner once and had the same dress on as someone sitting at our table. I went home (lucky for me I could walk as it wasn't too far) and got changed. No one was any wiser.

I think the 'probably' younger and 'more beautiful'- your words, not mine - lady will be the one who is the most embarrassed so she should have some warning. How could you be embarrassesed when the same style flatters both of you at different stages of your lives! Perhaps the one with the most likely social engagements to wear the dress could be the one to consider offering to wear something different to this wedding.

I would mention it and still wear it. Accessorise it to your style and enjoy the wedding. It's up to the other person then whether they wear theirs x

I agree with others and say, "Wear it and look fabulous!" If you want to warn your young relative, she may not want to wear hers, but even if she does, you can both make a statement together. It reminds me of when I was teaching, my fellow music colleague and I wore the same skirt and top - as well as sandals - one day for a special school function. When the pupils commented, we told them we'd decided to wear our school uniform, and that all staff had them. Bless them - they believed us!

The same dress can look completely different on two age groups - I doubt the younger person would opt to use a black jacket for example, more likely to go with a bolero top or pashmina type shawl instead. With different shoes/hairstyles and bag and jewellery you will most likely find you look different to each other on the day. Just wear your dress and enjoy the day is my advice!

If you hadn't known you might not even have noticed.

Just go along and enjoy the day, as long as you aren't wearing the same as the bride it won't make any difference, men don't make all this fuss about clothes and they have no worries about another bloke turning up in a grey suit or navy suit they just go along. I don't know why women have this need to be unique.

You will both look lovely.

Yes I'd let her know, say you're still wearing I, and you don mind if she wears it too, and then it's up to her. A friend and I both wore Sam dress to a party, neither of us cared.

My SiL was a witness at my mother's second marriage and turned up in a white floaty suit - I can't even remember what my mother wore! Too busy being annoyed with SiL when the staff at the do thought she was the bride!

Go ahead ...wear it as if you had not known in advance ! if you are that close to her for the reception, photos etc just make a joke about your joint good taste and leave it at that ! If it makes you uncomfortable, or you think it might, have a spare dress in the boot or other accessories ...the wedding is for the bride and groom so I doubt if anyone will pay much attention other than to maybe just find it amusing !

Have fun !

Yes, wear it and enjoy it!
I bet every man there is wearing a suit .... allbeit different colours!!
Have a lovely day

Ack, as a guest I would not care and just enjoy the fun.

But this is why I am going to try one of those made-to-measure Hong Kong dresses from the net with DSS getting married in July. My hairdresser is also needing one as a mum of groom as well, so she's going to get one for another occasion to see if they are any good. At about £100 average price, not too bad a risk. Also, I am awful to fit. Boobs and tum, but no bum, long arms... eeek.

When I saw the prices of Jacques Vert and Phase 8 etc... yikes.

Anyway... go and enjoy. It will be great fun if there's another who shows up with the same popular dress!

I turned up at a party many years ago wearing the same dress as someone else. We were very different body types and I simply decided that I looked better than she did and forgot about it.

It wouldnt bother me in the slightest. After all the only dress that matters on the day is the one the Bride is wearing.

At my friend's sister's wedding her best friend turned up in her identical going away outfit! They laughed.

As soon as I arrived at my daughter's wedding I was discreetly told that one of her friends had the same dress on as me. As mother of the bride I had the dress and matching jacket, the friend just had the dress with a wrap. The friend felt awful and tried to hide her dress with the wrap and promised to stay well out of my way. After my initial shock I just got on with it as I was determined to enjoy the day - needless to say it was one of the best days of my life. My advice would be to definitely liaise with the other person concerned as no-one wants to feel awkward.

I once turned up at a Masonic ladies evening to find I was wearing the same dress as the wife of the Worshipful Master.
I just said ' haven't we both got good taste?' We smiled at each other and carried on.
( she looked much better in it than me! ?

When I was in my early forties I went to a family wedding in a lovely outfit that I liked. I arrived to find that the grandmother of the bride (aged about 85) was wearing the same outfit. She gave me a poisonous look and we avoided each other for the rest of the wedding!!

I agree with christinefrance and Tess101. Wear it "your way", and have a happy day. Perhaps you and the "other" wearer can have a laugh about it? Wishing you a very enjoyable time!

I would let her know you have same outfit and let her decide what to do.

A much younger friend of mine was attending her best friend's wedding recently. It was a small affair of around 50 people. She was keen to buy a Phase Eight outfit she'd seen, in the 'bodycon' style which suits her so well. Her husband preferred a more flouncy dress from another shop,& she decided on that for a change...2 wedding guests were in the Phase Eight outfit! It's such a problem buying obvious wedding outfits from a chain store these days. With the internet & easy returns, it's so easy to buy from lesser known sites & be less likely to bump into someone else in your dress. I'd hate to meet someone in the same outfit so would buy something else.

Wear it with your own accessories but it might be worth tipping off her mother, possibly it's not too late for her to return hers if she wants to. Would be sad if both of you were unaware that the other knew and neither opted to wear the dress (if you get my meaning).

I don't understand the posts where people have mentioned being nasty looks or such when they have the same dress. Where is the crime?

Oddly, men don't have to put up with this as they all wear suits of various shades of neutral. Lucky lucky lucky.

If I wasn't the mother of the groom, I'd wear an elegant pants-suit as I prefer them.

Maybe that's not a bad idea anyways.

I wore jacket or coat and trousers (silk to 2, velvet to the 3rd as it was December) to all 3 DD's weddings. My legs swell up after the least standing so I never wear a skirt.
As MOB or MOG you can do what you like!