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MOB style- does common sense go out of the window?

(86 Posts)
MawBroon Fri 15-Jun-18 08:33:20

I have a very close friend who is always stylishly tuned out, 5’2” and a trim size 12 she looks good in anything.
However her DD is getting married and she has been on the MOB outfit hunt for months. I went with her once and was invited to give my opinion on some she was contemplating. Fortunately she rejected them all (frankly, wrong sizes so would need altering or really unflattering but I kept quiet on that)
Since then she has bought an outfit she loves so of course I have enthused but deep down I think it looks frumpy. The hat she has gone for does nothing for her and the matchy matchy satin shoes and bag put 10 years on her.
I am not immune to these style lapses- I thought I knew exactly how I wanted to look at our DDs’ weddings but with hindsight.....maybe not.
Anyway, what is it about MOB outfit blinkers? Why do assistants offer and then gush over outfits that make a 50-something look like the Queen Mum? Why is there an extra nought on the price?
And why do (some of us) women have a common sense bypass about what we look good in?
Of course none of you may have fallen into this trap, but just looking at the sort of shop or department selling these outfits suggests there are many out there.
confused

Kerenhappuch Sat 16-Jun-18 10:37:51

I agonised over what to wear for my son's wedding, and in the course of several visits to shops offering 'mother of the bride' outfits, one shop tried to sell me a very flouncy dress in black lace costing in excess of £600! When I said I didn't want to wear black for my son'e wedding, the saleswoman got quite angry, and when I was changing almost ripped a necklace she'd insisted on lending me off my neck! In the end, I got a floral number from Dawn French's company which was much more wedding-y and cost a fraction of that.

To be honest, I think some companies just see a huge sales opportunity cos people feel nervous about looking good at their child's wedding. As someone else has said, nobody is really looking at the families during the wedding!

missymazda Sat 16-Jun-18 10:39:46

I have been a MOB twice and didn’t spend a fortune on either, I liked it and so did my daughters. I am of the very (Controversial) opinion that people would be far too busy looking at the brides than to notice my outfit in more than a passing way.

silvercollie Sat 16-Jun-18 10:45:55

When DS1 was to be married in NZ there were packing concerns to consider. Looked in a few Bridal type shops and was appalled by the garments offered. Frumpy? The word doesn't cut it. I am a free spirited girl - I think I was about 60 at the time, so off I trotted to an 'alternative' shop where I found a brilliant navy blue long dress, cut on the bias with fantastic double layering that meant I could wear it in several different styles. Can be worn dressed up or plain. Cost? About £60. And I wear it frequently. I was not prepared to be trussed up like a stuffed turkey for which I would be expected to pay loads of money that I did not have. Yes, loads of compliments.

ajanela Sat 16-Jun-18 11:21:30

Problem with buying outfits in UK for weddings in warmer climates is the materials and design are not meant for warm climates. You need natural fabrics like cotton, silk or linen without synthetic lining which will stick to you. Loose sleeves if you need a sleeve and scooped necklines. If your legs aren't too good, wear a longer loose skirt or flowing pants as tights will be very uncomfortable.

123kitty Sat 16-Jun-18 11:36:55

MoB once and MoG once, loved every minute of finding beautiful outfits for both occasions. DD and DDinL obviously stars of the day, but I wanted to show I'd made some effort. I suppose it helps that I love clothes shopping.

Chinesecrested Sat 16-Jun-18 12:00:23

I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and the MOG looked sensational. She's about 70, white hair, prob size 12, and wore a two piece in pale mushroom lace, knee length. Really on trend!

stevierichards1954 Sat 16-Jun-18 12:14:41

I attended my sons only wedding and wore a mob dress which the assistant said I looked fabulous. Only seeing pictures on some digital camera of me at wedding I got changed for reception
I looked overly dressed turkey and from looking nothing really matched.
I changed into skirt suit blouse and jazzy type jacket and got loads of compliments
I had that lapse from the advice of a blind shop assistant

Kim19 Sat 16-Jun-18 13:11:20

I've had my MoG outfit for 19 (yes!) years now. Saw it in a sale. Magic. However, as of yet, the occasion has not arisen to give it an airing. I try it on from time to time and still love it - particularly now that I've returned to the original weight. Neither S knows about this and I haven't given up on a big day for one or both of them. Same outfit would be worn to both, by the way. Optimism is the name of the game for me.

quizqueen Sat 16-Jun-18 13:24:24

I found a summer dress I liked in Phase Eight and asked my daughter if she thought I looked okay in it. Bought a matching cardigan and shoes and job done for about £100. As long as the bride is happy with what her mum is wearing then it's nothing to do with anyone else.

lesley4357 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:16:25

I look like a man in drag if I wear anything resembling MOB outfits! For daughter's wedding I had white wide leg linen trousers, pale blue linen tunic, white sandals and definitely NO HAT. and what is it with 'fascinators'? Ridiculous. Either wear a hat or don't.

GrammaH Sat 16-Jun-18 14:17:36

jillyblom59 I don't think MOBs are supposed to wear shift dresses & boleros, where on earth did that come from? Thinking of the many weddings I've been to, I can't think of one MoB adhering to that code! For my DD's wedding, I had a long cornflower blue silk skirt with a matching jacket edged in a stiffened ruffle and beneath it I had a flowery patterned silk camisole in matching shades of blue. I had a large blue "hattinator" and blue silk high heels & the whole outfit was divine, I felt stunning & it cost a fortune but I didn't care, it was for a very special occasion. Not a shift dress or bolero in sight!

minxie Sat 16-Jun-18 14:52:23

My friend did the same thing, she bought an awful outfit and I just kept quiet because she loved it. It will never be worn again as it’s one of those wedding only satin type monstrosities . If I had been with her I would of banned her from going near it

lemongrove Sat 16-Jun-18 15:08:10

lesley grin

HannahLoisLuke Sat 16-Jun-18 17:40:43

Last June I was grandmother of the bride and wore a gorgeous long floaty shift style dress in dove grey bought in Biarritz seventeen years before, bought a new big brimmed hat in the same colour and wore cream flatform sandals and bag that I already had.
The weather was scorching so my dress was perfect.

KazzaK Sat 16-Jun-18 18:09:20

I went to a classy boutique style shop for my outfit for my DD’s wedding 10 years ago. Made an appointment as MOTB so had an assistant all to myself. DD came too. Had a wonderful time trying on outfits, hats etc and ended up with a spectacular ensemble. Still love it to this day and still get no end of compliments when people see the photos. Bag came from EBay though! Oh and I’m a size 16 so not petite clothes horse! At the end of the day you have got to feel comfortable with what you wear wherever it comes from.

Daisyboots Sat 16-Jun-18 18:21:24

I think for a really stylish MOB outfit you couldn't go wrong with what the Duchess of Sussex's mother wore. Simple yet elegant.
With the exception of one unmarried daughter all my future weddings are likely to be GMOG or GMOB. So I won't have to dress up...... I hope

willa45 Sat 16-Jun-18 19:09:25

'yet another anecdote' alert....smile

For my first daughter's wedding twenty years ago, (evening formal), I had a clear vision of what I wanted, which actually made things more difficult for me.

After being accosted by several well meaning bridal consultants (with commission driven motives and taste), I decided to give the department stores a try.

Almost immediately, I found a beige 'peau de soie' evening gown similar to what I was looking for, except it had no jacket.
To my dismay, finding one that matched would be a tall order because the color 'beige' has too many iterations. I had to settle for a complementary fabric that would make a statement instead. It was a beige/taupe metallic brocade.

The jacket itself was very flattering with a fitted cut and a scalloped neckline. The buttons however, were cheap plastic rosettes and definitely had to go!

I went into NYC's fashion district and replaced them with a set of filigree bronze buttons, exquisitely accented with genuine Swarovski crystal teardrops! The buttons ended up being so gorgeous that the jacket morphed into a very expensive looking, 'designer' evening jacket. That jacket got a lot of complements and very good use even years after the wedding!

It was a lot of work, but in the end, I achieved the look that I wanted and without anybody's help.

willa45 Sat 16-Jun-18 20:02:55

I forgot to mention that dress and jacket were a fraction of the cost I would have spent in a bridal shop. The buttons were the exception (relatively expensive) but when all was tallied (shoes, bag etc.) I still came out ahead.

Elrel Sat 16-Jun-18 20:10:42

M0nica - some years ago Oxfam had a wedding shop in central Birmingham. There were lovely clothes in there for the whole wedding party!
Having no other reason to buy I got two beautiful bridesmaids’ dresses for GDs aged 3 and 9. They did great service for parties, plays and dressing up for years until they outgrew them!

jocork Sat 16-Jun-18 20:54:55

My son was married last summer and I worried about what to wear as I only usually wear trousers and don't do dressy. I found a dress while shopping with my daughter in Glasgow but as I was travelling home by train didn't want to add to my luggage so I didn't buy it. Once home I ordered the dress online and managed to get 20% off by taking the store's card which more than covered the cost of p&p. I bought matching shoes but they were so uncomfortable I changed into my old favourites to drive to the reception and didn't put them back on! I borrowed a matching bag from a fried so not too expensive all in all. In the end I wore it three times as I went to another wedding as my daughter's chauffeur so only attended the service, then wore it to a dinner at my old college a few weeks later. I doubt it will get another outing so I'm glad I didn't spend too much.

Jaxie Sun 17-Jun-18 09:25:49

My son was getting married in a very hot climate; I almost despaired of finding a smart dress in cotton. Department stores only seem to stock vile synthetic over-designed frump gear in pink and mauve. Then I saw a Bombshell dress in Heritage Liberty lawn on Gransnet. Designed by a theatre costume designer, Katya, I could not believe it was so well cut: three quarter sleeves, over the knee, a wrap that would never expose my raddled legs, gently ruched over the tummy. Cleverly elasticated under the arms to create a waist. It looked terrific and was comfortable; I didn't feel the slightest bit trussed. I don't agree that Country Casuals was any good, too safe and predictable: why else would it have gone out of business? Arket, And Other Stories, Finery offer dresses that suit trendy oldsters too.

hildajenniJ Sun 17-Jun-18 20:11:36

I've never been MOB or MOG, but I just wanted to say that Edinburgh Woollen Mill have Country Casuals clothing. I almost bought a long line shirt for myself last time I was in their store.
www.ewm.co.uk/country-casuals/collections/impressionist.html

Marydoll Sun 17-Jun-18 20:59:25

Jaxie I love those dresses. Thank you. smile

NanKate Sun 17-Jun-18 21:44:11

The only good thing that has come out of my son’s impending divorce is that I gave away all my wedding pharaphanalia (have I spelt that right?) which included a silky top and long skirt, pashmina, handbag, shoes, fascinator, cream parasol and some jewellery etc to a vintage charity hospice shop. We got a very nice letter telling us how much we had individually raised for the charity, which was quite a decent sum. So every cloud does have a silver lining. ⛅️

Kittycat Sun 17-Jun-18 22:06:19

Looking for an MOB outfit at the moment, DD wedding next May. Totally agree with what a lot of people say, most of the outfits are hideous and very overpriced. I am short- 4' 10" and rather round and unfortunately cannot wear anything but cotton! On top of that I cannot afford more than £50. Think I might try making my own dresss!