Hairdressers, and how to change them without hurting their feelings

If you are not satisfied with the way she cuts your hair or wants to change your style which should be your choice not hers then go elsewhere.Don't make further appointments.If it was not her services but the way she responded to issues concerning DH then the only way round was not go too deep into your personal circumstances.
There appears an 'overall' dissatisfaction with this person so a new stylist seems to be your only option and next time 'what is behind your closed doors stays behind your closed doors'.

Why do you continue to go to this stylist - you are paying her to insult you. Go elsewhere.

I agree with the posters who say to cancel if you have an appointment or just don't ring up and make another one. I go a salon where someone I knew always seemed to have an appointment made at the same time. She decided she didn't want to go back as she was dissatisfied, but instead of letting them know she didn't reply to messages when her appointments were due. I ended up telling them she wasn't coming back (when they asked if I knew what had happened to her) and they were more angry that she hadn't let them know out of courtesy, so they could put someone else in her place.

I spent 27 years going to the same hairdresser, then I moved 100 miles away and had to find another. It took some time but I wish I could send my mobile one to you all. He is mobile but used to teach hairdressing in the college and is great. My daughter now travels 150 miles to get him to cut her hair and my other daughter has a permanent arrangement to get her hair and that of her 3 girls cut regularly. Not totally perfect in us timekeeping but has to cope with traffic between clients( friends).

I went to same salon for 20 years...he was a one man band with help of his wife to do the donkey work. He did right in suggesting me to stop ruining my hair with perms and I met it grow out and then he cut it beautifully for me. He always said that the cut was the most important part of it all. I started having it coloured as I went grey in my late twenties ( the whole family does). But he said blonde would be best for me and I agreed...but over the years I wanted it to gradually get darker and more back to my old colour ..brunette...but he just ignored my requests to add darker colour to the mix ....I was paying £70 per five weeks to him for not getting what I wanted. In the end I just didn’t make another app , saying that his free dates conflicted with docs /hosp apps. Said I would call through when I had the time, but never did. My husband had a hairdresser come in to do his hair and I asked if she would cut mine and she did...she also suggested that as my hair colour looked as if it was a silvery colour , to let it grow out to see if I liked it. It’s a brilliant silvery colour and I love it. So now I have my hair cut for £10 and no colour and I love it.

She works for you and can't tell you how you should have it cut. Its OK if she says why she thinks it won't work for you, but you have the final say. I wouldn't want to be spending time with somebody so prescriptive about your life and your hair!
There are so many excellent hairdressers out there, just find a new one, ideally by recommendation.

I would when she goes to make another appointment just say I think I’ll leave it a few weeks I’m trying to grow it a bit and find another hairdresser and start as you mean to go on there. To get your hair done and that’s that.

I was in this situation the hairdresser had a shop but with the lease ending and the shop being expensive to run she decided to go mobile. She was a lovely lady but I stood it for five years. I hated having it done at home it just didn’t seem a treat and I couldn’t see my hair being done like at the hairdresser with their mirrors. My hair was a mess, wonky, and so thinned out as she cut it wrong with those choppy scissors which on thin hair apparently you shouldn’t use. I eventually looked like an 80s throw back,

The next appointment when she got her book out I said I’ll leave it I’ll ring you. I thought hang on she has lovely hair and look at mine so I found up the road from me a younger lady and she has now trimmed it over a year and a half into a Bob with a long fringe and it’s lovely now.

I bumped into the other hairdresser a month ago with my husband and my hair felt like a white elephant in the room god it was embarrassing but I’m happy and I’m afraid I’ve learned that I come first sometimes too.

Sassoon, that’s a blast from the past ! Just say you can’t book your next appointment as you have a lot going on and will phone her when you are free. Then don’t . Much easier than having an appointment then cancelling.

All this worrying about a hairdresser, can’t be worth this agro.

In the last 6 years I've had a hairdresser come to my house. My 2 sisters, a friend and her 2 ADs also come and we make a day of it, lunch, wine, coffee, laughter etc. She listens to me, gives advice and we compromise sometimes but I'm usually happy with the results.
My daughter has a similar 1-1 relationship with her home hairdresser.
IMO having your hair done should be a relaxed enjoyable occasion and you should come out of it feeling relaxed and pampered, not stressed, irritated and unhappy. Personally, I'd walk away and find somewhere, someone, else as has been suggested by others.
I hope you find a happy solution, and a great hairdresser you can trust to listen.

Don't worry jellybeanjean I would just not make a forward appointment with her and find someone else - perhaps ask around for recommendations. This should be a nice treat for you, not an intimidating experience that makes you feel in the wrong! I went to the same hairdresser for 14 years, and eventually travelled a fair distance to continue to give her my custom. A serious accident kept me away for months; I texted her to apologise for not coming and got no reply, although she was aware that I had been injured, and not so much as a single enquiry over the months - I wasn't expecting a van from Interflora to arrive or indeed anything other than perhaps a text asking how I was but - nothing. So I went to a hairdresser much nearer home who has in fact done a better job. That was about two years ago and I have never regretted it.

I was never happy with my two previous hairdressers. Eventually I asked a girl at the gym who cut her hair for her. I went to this hairdresser and explained what I wanted and told her who had recommended her. I got the best haircut I'd had in 20 years. My husband said "Thank goodness, you've finally found someone who can actually cut hair properly".The cost of cut and colour was about £20.00 less than at the previous hairdresser. I have been with my current hairdresser for about six years now and she always gets it right.

You can tell her that you are planning to grow it longer and will get in touch when you feel you are ready for the new style. Then as someone on this thread said go for wash and blow drys with hairdressers your friends recommend until you find a new one. I appreciate that the cost is important but its abasing how the price changes when you are not getting it cut in the centre of town and just going to a local suburban or housing estate hair dresser.

You are buying a service, and are free to shop around and buy that service from whoever you want to. Tesco won't be offended if you go to Sainsbury's instead - look at it in that light and it becomes perfectly reasonable to have your hair done where you want.

I changed hairdressers last year and still feel a bit guilty. I was coming away from expensive appointments after my instructions/ requests were ignored. They always used straighteners, which ruins my hair, even though I asked not and used horrible harsh hair dye in the wrong very dark colour. Then went on about highlights.

After a last appointment, a week later my hair was a fuzzy mess, dried out, dyed dark brown and I decided enough was enough.

What? That’s a lie!

I would say that I have been gifted a voucher for another salon and don't want it to go to waste.

I just changed hairdressers after several years because she didn’t listen to whar I wanted. I simply rang up and cancelled my next appointment and didn’t make a new one.

Besides which she put the price up to £52 for a cut and blow dry and took all of 20 minutes. My new one spends an hour and charges £23 and I like her style much better

It was scary for me too and moving home was an ideal opportunity, I just said that I didn`t know what I was doing and could not make an appointment just yet. I never went back but I do scurry past with my head turned away from the window when I go to that area. I do sometimes find that new hairdressers try hard a for a while and after 3 years or so some become slipshod and I end up with a style I am not happy with, usually too short on top etc

I would say that I am up in the air at the moment, am expecting family visitors and not sure of exact dates yet. I will ring etc and then slip out of that psychological noose

For years I had a mobile hairdresser to cut my hair, but when she no longer cut it the way I asked, I decided to try a salon. I never did make an advanced appointment, just never made another one. To my surprise the salon was eight pounds cheaper. I just assumed the mobile hairdresser would be cheaper with less overheads.

I have scuttled between two hairdressers for the last 30 years, they used to work in same salon, they are friendly. All depends on what I want and who is available when I need/want it doing.

No problem they are providing a service, I am paying, yes we have built up a relationship/friendly rapport but they are not my “friends”.

Please do not feel bullied/browbeaten in doing something /using a service you are uncomfortable with.

As much as you've used her for a while a change may not be a bad thing if you try someone else and find you were happy you could always go back.
Could always say someone treated you if you feel you need to make an excuse but it's your money at the end of the day and you should be spending it where you want to.

jellybeanjean you are the victim of bullying. If you look at it in that light hopefully you will get the strength to find someone else. Good luck

Just explain to her that as a carer for your husband you feel the need to get out of the house and have some me time.
So a salon experience is preferable to being in the home.
This should do it !

Join the "worriers" club... see other thread!

goodness can we really go through life being bullied and browbeaten by others,,, yes, I have,, now I don`t

good luck...