Freedom from guilt...for a while!

You raise an interesting point about guilt Hollysteers
We are coerced by advertising
into thinking we aren't good enough, unless we buy this or that product. Which seeps into our subconscious to our detriment, hence the cake comments.

Another item I'm going to treat myself to, is a large bunch of Freesia. The scent is heavenly.

Not that bothered about cosmetics but I am going to treat myself to a personal trainer

Do let us know how you get on Shinamae.
I wouldn't know how to compare one with another!

I've been to two supermarkets and no Freesia!
That treat is going to have to wait.

Do we have women who have been stay-at -homes wives all their lives on this thread, so that they have no independent money?

I worked, as have most women, and have my own pension as a resut. What I spend my money on is my business, not my DH's and he wouldnt dream of commenting on how I spend my money. And I do not comment on his personal expenditure either.

I have just bought myself a expensive coat, more than I have ever paid before. DH has seen it and admired it, and that is it. As long as I make my agreed contribution to our household expenses and he does the same, the rest of our money is available to be spent as we will.

DH dresses like a builder - and lapses into his North Bucks accent when talking to them - that is his choice - and always has been. Youdo not marry someone expecting to change them.

Wives having no money if staying at home to look after the home/family is financial abuse surely? I have done a mixture of working full time/part/staying at home (not through choice - through circumstance) and I am back to full time again. My husband has always earnt much more than I do but the money that goes in our joint account is all ours. He has a nicer car (I am insured on it anyway) but to be honest I really like my car so it isn't an issue at the moment. It's about sharing isn't it? I don't think it is as clear cut as his and hers.

I'd like see the coat though Monica

Another who would love to see what people have done for themselved in the name of self support.

janeJudge, I agree everryone organises their finances to suit their preferences, but if you are spending money that comes to you because you earned it, whyshould you need to hide things you bring into the house so that DH doesn't see.

When my children were small I remember going to a coffee morning where the conversation moved to getting money for new clothes out of husbands. I crept into a corner and kept very quiet, because, even though, as my children, were tiny, I didn't/couldn't work, we always arranged our finances so that both of us had spending money for our personal needs, including clothes. I would have no more asked DH every time I needed new clothes than fly!

I'm still on the hunt for a bunch of Freesia!

Are there things people do for themselves that gives them freedom and joy but also doesnt cost them financially?

Most things that I enjoy (excluding family) revolve around nature or colour.
But still mean spending some money.i.e.
I've always collected pebbles or stones as a momento from a trip somewhere. Some from the Grand Canyon or the Dorset coast, anywhere. They are striped, red black all colours. But it cost money to get go on these trips on the first place.

The only thi g I can think of that doesnt directly cost is listening to the bird song in the garden.
But that has an indirect cost of being able to afford a house with a garden and of course the bird food to attract them there in the first place.

I suppose I'm saying it's hard to find freedom and pleasure without cash.

Or ones health (I took that as a given!)

well done Bijou I have my eyebrows shaped and tinted monthly, it makes such a difference. I have never had to 'ask' for money as we just blunder along with joint finances and generally both take a fairly sensible approach to what we buy for ourselves, but.....I have dreadful feet, need new boots, and blanched at the price of good quality wide fitting ones so sent for cheaper ones instead, which of course were awful, ill fitting, and had to be returned.

One reason I could go to the UK on a guilt free and extravagant trip was that my pension had been approved after living on my husband's for four years. No, he'd never questioned my purchases but, boy was it good to have my 'own' money again!!

I love the happiness in your last sentence mimismo its contagious ?
I hope you enjoyed your trip to UK and have many others?