I’m devastated due to my ruined hair

Put yourself in the hands of a good hairdresser

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

‘Try asking people who live near you, especially those whose hair you like the look of. At the moment you are using far too much conditioner and washing it too often. A lighter ‘ leave in’ conditioner that can be combed through will be better.

Whose Corryanna ????
Presumably not a real post

Use a hair mask?

Apologies, Corryanna was my original Gransnet Username many, many years ago. I didn’t post for years, then when I tried to do so, I had to rejoin with a new Username, hence Padine. Maybe Gransnet could remove the Corryanna for me please?

BlueBelle

Whose Corryanna ????
Presumably not a real post

Well spotted Miss Marple 😂

God advice but always remember, hair is forgiving, almost any disaster will grow out.
I always consoled myself when my daughters did “interesting” things to their hair you could shave it all off and start again. Questionable tatoos however, quite a different matter.

Thanks for all replies. I have tried all your suggestions and was hoping for something more emotionally comforting.
Seems like another answer is to be less attached to how I feel about my looks.

Can I ask why you didn’t put your hair up, out of the way of the collar?

😂😂 thanks Mogsmaw! I did think I could give the shaved head a go! Too cold in the far north of Scotland tho……..

Padine

Thanks for all replies. I have tried all your suggestions and was hoping for something more emotionally comforting.
Seems like another answer is to be less attached to how I feel about my looks.

Emotionally comforting?
I thought you asked for advice

Do something about it!.

Get a wig if you're that bothered.

And stop looking at the back of your head.

Well you ve obviously got two user names which we can’t have so I ve asked HQ to take a look
If your bonefide nothing to worry about

Meryl, the collar came more than 1/2 way up the back of my head and was rubbing the roots of my hair up the way.
With hindsight, I’d have cut my hair short before the operation but I’ll just look out for a good hairdresser and have a wash+dry for Christmas. Should have thought of that before.

Hair is a woman’s crowning glory, so I understand how the OP feels. Something similar happened to me once. My d.i.l. decided I needed a trim. She used to help in her mother’s salon, so I thought she knew what she was doing. ……I’ll say no more 😫

I understand why the OP feels upset. I would too. My hair is the only thing I like about myself so would be be incredibly distressed if something happened to it. Padine, it's OK to be upset. You sound like you've been through a lot lately and this has overwhelmed what bit of coping mechanism you had left. Could you wear some sort of scarf to hide the back of your hair until it sorts itself out? Google local hairdressers. You'll often find that they have reviews and star ratings. Look for a salon where it's hard to get an appointment. Lots of customers usually means a good stylist. Lots of villages and areas have Facebook sites. Ask for recommendations then check the salon out online. Don't over wash your hair. I know it's tempting when it feels a mess but you're stripping it of it's natural oils and it will take longer to self repair.

Could you do an undercut until it grows out again?

No idea why people are being so mean to you tonight!

OP are you anywhere near a college that trains hairdressers? They often have training salons where anyone can book an appointment and might welcome the chance for a tutor to show them how to deal with your problem hair.

Years ago when I was studying at our local college I had a cyst removed from the side of my head and had a shaved patch. One of the hairdressing tutors showed the students how to cut my hair.

Someone who lost their hair due to chemo treatment told me that Toni and Guy salons usually have one stylist specially trained in this type of situation. As others have said a wig ( real hair to match your own ) might be the way to go temporarily. But it sounds like you've been through a lot so no problem in venting on here.

It sounds like extensions might work well for you and can be used throughout the whole head of hair or as you describe just the back. But you need an experience hairdresser - but then that will let your hair recover and grow until you are happy with it.
And stop using the scissors on it!!

Thank you friendly grans, I have been through an awful lot in the last 18months and some kindness with thoughtful, helpful ideas are very much appreciated.

BTW, I have emailed Gransnet requesting to get the 2 usernames sorted out. No reply as yet. Just wanted to let you know Bluebell, I am bonefide (and it’s who’s for “who is” and you’re for “you are”. Apologies if you think that’s pedantic but as a retired teacher, correct apostrophes are important to me).

Padine

Thank you friendly grans, I have been through an awful lot in the last 18months and some kindness with thoughtful, helpful ideas are very much appreciated.

BTW, I have emailed Gransnet requesting to get the 2 usernames sorted out. No reply as yet. Just wanted to let you know Bluebell, I am bonefide (and it’s who’s for “who is” and you’re for “you are”. Apologies if you think that’s pedantic but as a retired teacher, correct apostrophes are important to me).

.... but spelling, not so much?

I'd spend the money on a good hairdresser. A good cut no matter how short it means taking your hair. Your hair will grow.