I’m devastated due to my ruined hair

Easy for me to say but try to be cool about it if you can , don’t stress it with over treating and hair does grow . After all we usually look at people’s faces . One friend of mine chooses to have a cut with the back of her head shaved really high ! 😊 good luck 🍀

in the meantime while you are trying to sort out your hair, perhaps have a look at using a light headscarf or two that might look good with different clothes you have, so that you tie it at the back of the head and either tuck the back under it or let it float out and cover the hair. Perhaps you might treat yourself to a really pretty silk scarf that would look very good and then be a good addition to your wardrobe in the future. When we have had difficult times then sometimes we focus on a particular thing that at another time would not seem so important. When my husband died I found that I was going back to check that the door was locked 3 or 4 times because I was on my own. firstly I tried to stop doing it but it only made me more anxious. Then I just accepted that that was what I needed to do for a while and once I took that pressure off myself I stopped needing to do it quite quickly (well I still check it is locked every time, which just seems sensible) So I think your concern about your hair is giving you something that you can find ways of dealing with, and you will feel more in control of things in general. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself how well you have done to come through a difficult time, and I wish you a peaceful christmas and a 2024 to look forward to better things.

Use nioxin to help the growth and keep putting masks on weekly the nioxin will increase the growth so it will grow out. Use hats until it’s grown out.

Do absolutely nothing. The hair growing on your head is like the rings of a tree. Any illnesses, changes, show up in our hair strands and a good hairdresser would tell you that.
All the products in the world will not help until health is improved and as for extensions, forget them, they ruin the natural hair.

If in doubt - leave it out !

I have dozens of wigs for my models. Mine is waist length. Sometimes I am tempted to shave it all off and just wear a wig. A lot less trouble.

There is no stigma nowadays about wearing one.

I do know how you feel, Padine. I once had such a disastrous haircut (it was at the back, where I didn’t see until the bloke showed me with the mirror) that I burst into tears (and I’m not a tearful type) - and still paid, though they said I didn’t need to, charged home and straightaway phoned dd1, at uni over 100 miles away.
I won’t tell you what I said I looked like (it’d sound terribly un PC now - this was ages ago) but a 1950s boys short back and sides wouldn’t be far off.

Dd phone the salon and gave the bloke a bollocking!

Thing was, the same chap had cut my hair fine previously - I don’t know what he was thinking of. Away with the fairies, evidently.

However, only a couple of days later, dd phoned, terribly upset, because a male student friend (who’d once stayed with us) had been killed in a road traffic accident in Moscow, where he was studying.
It certainly put my hair into perspective - it would eventually grow again.

But you still have all my sympathy, Padine. 💐

I do understand this! I am very emotionally attached to my hair.

But for advice I’d get my self a good tub of colourless henna and put in on them cover with foil for a good few hours, then wash out. It will take a while, but your hair will go back to its old self and it will grow again. Good luck

Stop fretting, you can't see the back

EEJit

Stop fretting, you can't see the back

There’s always one, isn’t there?

Must be bad enough having an operation without feeling your hair's a sight as well. I'd be upset but, it's going to grow out. I think I'd leave off with the conditioner a bit as it'll just make your hair all soft and squishy. If you want it to look smoother, dare I suggest a tiny dab of brylcreem? Just on the back where you think it looks frizzy. Or possibly some re workable wax? But i think i would try brylcream? Chin up chuck, itll soon recover, I'm sending you a virtual hug, and I hope your neck is better xx

Is your hair long enough to wear up? I hide bad hair days under a hat in the winter.

I used to use VO5 hot oil conditioner when my hair was frizzy. It worked really well. Give it a deep heat treatment 😊

No, you’re not ungrateful. I think I know how you’re feeling as I’m in position at the moment having had my gorgeous curls ruined.

Our hair is important to how we see ourselves and it can be devastating when we feel it’s been destroyed.

Just keep giving it the care it needs and know it will grow back.

Stop using so much conditioner - it will only exacerbate the problem. The solution is to have a short cut (2 or 3) and let it grow out. Meanwhile, get a wig, if you don't like short hair. Also...stop fixating on the problem, and yes, I am going to tell you it could have been worse... the constant rubbing of the brace could have given you alopecia areata, so consider yourself lucky x 2- this, and the fact that the operation was successful.

Tanjamaltija - I had alopecia areata several years ago…..fortunately I only had 2 bald patches. Good news is that it often grows back in 6 months, as mine did.

JdotJ

Do absolutely nothing. The hair growing on your head is like the rings of a tree. Any illnesses, changes, show up in our hair strands and a good hairdresser would tell you that.
All the products in the world will not help until health is improved and as for extensions, forget them, they ruin the natural hair.

If in doubt - leave it out !

These days there is overuse of chemicals on hair and it is washed too often. After a bad hair cut over sixty years ago i stopped going to a hairdresser. I cut it myself and only wash it once a week using a shampoo containing olive oil and aloe vera, no chemicals. People comment how good my hair looks considering my age.

I was wondering same thing

Well- I don’t want to be controversial but I have a shower every morning and wash my hair at the same time (ie every day!) I use a good shampoo and conditioner (Tresemme) and my hair keeps in great condition. I have followed this regime for 40 years!
I also go swimming twice a week in chlorinated water), and have my hair coloured every five weeks. However, as someone said, hair is very forgiving and your hair will recover. A good hairdresser will soon sort it out.

Had a cataract removed and not allowed to wash my hair for weeks. Hope you can get your hair styled soon. My operation went wrong but all is expected to be well.

It could worse. My hair is coming out every time I brush or comb it. My hairline is receding and my remaining hair is fine and limp. Not a pretty sight and embarrassing when all my friend and family have thick glossy locks. Vitamins, supplement and treatments have not helped. I purchased a very expensive wig on line and was scammed so I’m nervous about trying again unless anyone knows of a reputable company. I have decided to focus on the positives but it has made me feel very self conscious when socialising. Yours will grow back beautifully. Embrace the challenge.

catterygirl you can wash your hair after a cateract operation you just have to cover it so no water gets in and do a backward wash I did mine in the shower everyday I put the plastic eyepatch on and a pair of (swimming or chemistry set) goggles over the top, worked a treat. I had both eyes done
Bet I looked a rummen though ( Suffolk word before I get corrected)

Lulibehe
You need to see a Trichologist as I did. Hair loss/ growth is very complex. It’s not cheap but worth it.
But one thing you can do is have your B12 and thyroid checked.

Catterygirl

Had a cataract removed and not allowed to wash my hair for weeks. Hope you can get your hair styled soon. My operation went wrong but all is expected to be well.

Catterygirl What they don't want you to do is to get water and shampoo into your eyes, or bend over the sink to wash your hair. BlueBelle's solution sounds fine.

You can also get shampoo caps catterygirl' which you just pop on, massage your head/hair, remove and brush wet hair! Brilliant product which I used after hip surgery - check out Amazon, one I used is called Drench.

I think as women we all get upset if our hair doesn’t look good. I was a hairdresser for 30 years (feels like moons ago) my suggestion would be to buy yourself a bottle of John Freidas frizz ease to use only on the back where the frizz is and as has been suggested washing it everyday is too much to be honest. The best thing you can do is find yourself a good hairdresser and have it cut into the nape of the neck and it sounds like you’ve still got long layers so have a short at the back graduating into longer at the front bob for now as the only way to permanently get rid of the frizz is cut most of the very bad bit off. Then once you’ve got rid of the frizzy ends by keep going every 4/6 weeks for a few months back to the salon, then you can grow it out again at the back. But meantime you will feel it is longer but smarter by having the back shorter but the sides and front longer if that makes sense. If not show your hairdresser this answer and he/ she will understand what I mean by a graduated Bob. Also buy yourself some 2 minute miracle conditioner and use a 10pence size of that after you shampoo (leaving a little in where’s its frizzy). Hopefully then you will only have to wash it a couple of times a week, using a professional round brush which will also help to get straighten the frizz. Also dry shampoo in between washes is excellent for adding volume between washes and it won’t feel so thin.
I hope this helps a bit.
Try not to stress too much it can be sorted by a good hairdresser.