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Ugly prom dress

(56 Posts)
Bowdie Thu 15-May-25 22:20:57

My granddaughter is going to her final school year prom (when did start these American traditions?). She found a dress she really liked in a charity shop and I bought it for her- she absolutely adores it but it's really really ugly! It looks like an ugly Disney princess dress. It's all bows and flounces. I've not said I don't like it. We have a spare which she quite likes which looks incredible on her but she adores the ugly one. I don't want the rest of the school laughing at her. I'm not alone thinking this- all her aunts and her mum thinks the same. She does have a very quirky fashion sense (she has ASD which I think contributes to this) but it's not laughable. Id be devastated for her if she was made to feel bad for wearing it. Should I say anything?!

PoliticsNerd Fri 16-May-25 13:18:38

Formal occasions (we are not American) are there as a safe place to learn before you go into the adult world. She really needs to do this for herself. You just need to be there to cheer her on.

PoliticsNerd Fri 16-May-25 13:27:36

Just a thought Bowdie - why did you buy her dress? Many young people are hiring them these days.

My GD went to her own formal (she will have another when they leave) last year and to one at another (single sex) school. She hired two beautiful dresses.

knspol Fri 16-May-25 13:41:57

I would be worried too, nobody wants her to feel awkward because others are making unpleasant remarks or laughing at her.
I think some of the remarks here are quite flippant but without knowing your GD none of us know how strong a character she is or whether she would be able to dismiss any negative reactions.
I do think our sense of fashion is probably very different to that of a teenager and I would not discourage her from wearing the dress she chose and feels good in but I would still worry.
I hope it all goes really well for her.

Granmarderby10 Fri 16-May-25 14:16:32

If I were the OP I would “catch myself on” and avoid thinking even in such a derogatory way about my granddaughter.
Stuff that may have been “de-rigueur “ in our youths no longer account for anything.

warning: older person rant think the whole “prom” thing is an Americanisation that has spread like a rash over the last 20 years. All I remember is an illicit drink …or two ……perhaps in a trendy bar in town( easier for the girls) for my kids and I more or less left school Friday and started work Monday🤗

I thought proms were for University graduates to be honest.
But hey-ho it is nice to have a 🥳

Jaxjacky Fri 16-May-25 14:22:42

A friend of ours daughter went as a goth recently, she carried it off well, my daughter went in a white trousers suit. In my view both were unique and avoided the dress ‘one upmanship, they were also warm!

Astitchintime Fri 16-May-25 14:26:37

If you are genuinely bothered that people might laugh at her why not suggest that a couple of her friends get to see her in it before prom night.
Otherwise……..her prom……let her decide.

tanith Fri 16-May-25 16:12:51

My GD sourced her owm prom outfit i thought it was typical for her but didnt like it and she totally regretted it. Girls made her very uncomfortable and she ended up crying in the car park and we picked her up early. It ruined the whole experience I wished I'd said something.

tanith Fri 16-May-25 16:13:43

I didnt like it that should say☺️

Granmarderby10 Fri 16-May-25 16:23:31

My goodness they are what? 16! Plenty old enough I would have thought to know what they like if they’ve not been infantilised for too long.
I personally never saw another member of my senior school classes last year who wasn’t in my circle of friends. Once I exited the school gates I was an adult and never gave them another thought or cared two hoots what they thought.
W-a-a-a-y too involved.
My children would be nervous anxious wrecks if I had become so very fixated on what is a kids party.

Frenchgalinspain Fri 16-May-25 16:27:17

Lathyrus3

I googled “what’s in for prom dresses”. Take a look.

The in at the moment is a fitted top, maybe frills on the shoulder strap and a big, layered puffy skirt, as much frill and decoration as you like.

Does that sound like her choice? If it’s got puffy sleeves she may want to take them off.

Wise advice.

I would suggest removal of the puff sleeves to sleeveless ..

Show her the website on Prom Dresses from Google or Bing.

eazybee Fri 16-May-25 17:52:54

I remember meeting a mother I knew shopping for a 'prom' dress, with her daughter and asked what they were looking for. The mother said 'oh possibly a bustier with a net skirt, you know, anything to go with Doc Martens' and I believe that is what she wore. Plus ripped tights.

M0nica Fri 16-May-25 19:40:23

eazybee that sounds so familiar.

SaxonGrace Sat 17-May-25 14:16:50

Just what I was thinking and if she loves it she will feel like a princess anyway, leave her be and let her enjoy

AuntieE Sat 17-May-25 14:26:01

I agree. Do let her wear the dress she likes. It may well be admired by girls her own age, and it is them that matter!

I suffered agonies at her age, being made to wear dresses that my mother thought were lovely on me. I can assure you my contempories laughed themselves sick at this frumpy girl dressed in knee-length Marilyn Munroe style dresses, although I did not by any means have her figure, at a time when everyone else was in mini-skirts!

If the girl comes home in tears because no-one liked her dress or asked her to dance, then you will have to pick up the pieces, but I hope and pray she will have a marvellous time in the dress she loves.

Cateq Sat 17-May-25 15:07:14

My daughter has never followed the herd, nor cares what anyone else thinks of her outfits. All her friends where buying prom dresses from a well known clothes shop, but she wanted something different so looked on line and found a dress she liked from Light in the Box, which was priced much the same as the shop her friends bought from. I didn’t hold out much hope the dress would be as the photograph or if it would require alterations, but when it arrived it was beautiful and fitted like a glove. A few of her friends told her they wished they’d bought something a bit more unique than the dresses they picked. I hope your DGD has a memorable prom night for all the right reasons.

mabon1 Sat 17-May-25 16:27:19

If she likes it, who are you to interfere? If you offer to buy someone a gift, you can't dictate what the person buys, surely.

ExaltedWombat Sat 17-May-25 16:42:56

Quirky is good! Don't worry about it. Though I still flinch when they wear trainers with their party dresses :-)

lafergar Sat 17-May-25 20:05:09

prom, what a load of rubbish.

Rainnsnow Sat 17-May-25 20:46:15

How wonderful she had confidence and style in buckets. Anyone can throw money at clothes, staying true to yourself takes strength. My daughter did the same and chose a 1970 s dress a few years ago . She had her hair in a mullet. She looked fabulous. Applaud her .

Allira Sat 17-May-25 20:51:59

DD's friend's daughter has gone to her prom tonight, DD did her hair and makeup for her - it will be very understated as she normally never wears makeup. I hope they all enjoy themselves before they take the big step to university, jobs or apprenticeships later in the year.

Doodledog Sat 17-May-25 21:00:12

TheWeirdoAgain1

Any such chance of a photo?

Absolutely not!

It would be very wrong of any poster to post a photo of someone else's dress for the world to see, after calling it ugly. That is asking for comments from others that might hurt the OP's granddaughter.

Allira Sat 17-May-25 21:02:08

Doodledog

TheWeirdoAgain1

Any such chance of a photo?

Absolutely not!

It would be very wrong of any poster to post a photo of someone else's dress for the world to see, after calling it ugly. That is asking for comments from others that might hurt the OP's granddaughter.

Well said!!

Mojack26 Sat 17-May-25 21:08:45

I think thats a good ideatogether mum to ask her friends. Kids are cruel and it sounds a bit babyish for a prom. I speak as a retired high school teacher.

Seakay Sat 17-May-25 22:53:44

I found this article - lots of prom dresses with ruffles. Be grateful she doesn't want the slinky and slit to the thigh options!
www.redcarpetready.co.uk/10-of-the-hottest-prom-dress-styles-right-now/

HiPpyChick57 Sun 18-May-25 10:39:36

My DD’s school had a prom after year 6 when they left for high school.
She chose her dress which was a beautiful lacy peach coloured number.
She wanted it shortened to above the knee which I did and then insisted she would be wearing her favourite pair of check hi top canvas boots with it.

No matter how many gorgeous shoes I showed her she was having none of it.

That was her style… quirky, and still is.

All the other girls were there in their dainty little sparkly kitten heels and puffy ball gowns but she still “rocked” her outfit and none of them batted an eyelid.

They all knew she wasn’t going to wear what was expected. They all had a fabulous evening.

I’m glad I let her wear what she wanted because by the time it came for her “real” prom it was lockdown and it was cancelled.

Although I dread to think what she would have worn to that one.

I hope your DG has an amazing evening wearing her beautiful dress, whichever one she finally chooses to wear.

Please let us all know how it went.