Ugly prom dress

A friend of ours daughter went as a goth recently, she carried it off well, my daughter went in a white trousers suit. In my view both were unique and avoided the dress ‘one upmanship, they were also warm!

If I were the OP I would “catch myself on” and avoid thinking even in such a derogatory way about my granddaughter.
Stuff that may have been “de-rigueur “ in our youths no longer account for anything.

warning: older person rant think the whole “prom” thing is an Americanisation that has spread like a rash over the last 20 years. All I remember is an illicit drink …or two ……perhaps in a trendy bar in town( easier for the girls) for my kids and I more or less left school Friday and started work Monday🤗

I thought proms were for University graduates to be honest.
But hey-ho it is nice to have a 🥳

I would be worried too, nobody wants her to feel awkward because others are making unpleasant remarks or laughing at her.
I think some of the remarks here are quite flippant but without knowing your GD none of us know how strong a character she is or whether she would be able to dismiss any negative reactions.
I do think our sense of fashion is probably very different to that of a teenager and I would not discourage her from wearing the dress she chose and feels good in but I would still worry.
I hope it all goes really well for her.

Just a thought Bowdie - why did you buy her dress? Many young people are hiring them these days.

My GD went to her own formal (she will have another when they leave) last year and to one at another (single sex) school. She hired two beautiful dresses.

Formal occasions (we are not American) are there as a safe place to learn before you go into the adult world. She really needs to do this for herself. You just need to be there to cheer her on.

I googled “what’s in for prom dresses”. Take a look.

The in at the moment is a fitted top, maybe frills on the shoulder strap and a big, layered puffy skirt, as much frill and decoration as you like.

Does that sound like her choice? If it’s got puffy sleeves she may want to take them off.

It’s a bit of a poser, on the one hand she innocently think she looks lovely in the dress, on the other pupils may laugh at her which could be tragic.
I would give my honest opinion on the two dresses and say which one you think she looks best in.You can’t insist on it, but if there are any problems at the prom, for the future she will trust your judgement.I really hope that it goes well for her.

This is not about a dress

The dress reflects her personality, who she is

Please accept her as she is, no if, buts or what people think

If she likes the dress, I assure you, there are others that will like it too even if they don't say do

Nothing hurts more than your family rejecting you and trying to change "for your own good"

She loves it and has the confidence to wear it, I expect she finds some of your clothes ugly, teens and old people rarely have the same taste in clothes.

Any such chance of a photo?

Say nothing at all. Let her wear the dress she chose and loves. Let her be who she is and celebrate her prom night.
You could have the most fantastic dress but if you don't feel right in it, you don't want to wear it. Tell her she looks great.

Schools often have a rail of second-hand prom dresses because they know that not everyone can afford the silly prices charged. The girls who may only wear them once hand them in for others to enjoy.

Whatever she feels confident in is what's right for her.

DGD's was fairly understated, a lovely fitted dress with a fishtail.
Her younger sister said "Well, I won't be wearing that when it's my turn!" 😁

Grammaretto

M0nica any photos of the paper dress?

Unfortunately, no.

I think what is being missed is that the GD has ASD. If this is really a Disney style dress, the nails will be out at the prom. It’s one thing to wear what you like and dare to be different but something else if you can’t shrug off the snarky comments. I spent my teens wearing vintage clothes from the 40s and 50s and had the confidence to respond to comments. I had a large friendship group at school and never felt like I had to try and fit in. The OPs GD on the other hand may already be singled out as different and may not be able to handle the comments. Do you think OP that she’s being ‘directed’ into that choice by other girls showing her what they (are not) going to wear and she is trying to fit in?

Google prom dress and see what comes up

M0nica - My daughter also made a paper dress. It wasn't for a "prom" though.
She went on to work in fashion design.

I am sure the other pupils who have been at school with her know she is a bit quirky so do not expect her to turn up in a 'normal' dress.

No, say nothing, she chose it, it fits her, she likes it!

Hope she has the best time

M0nica any photos of the paper dress?

DD made herself a prom dress out of paper. Everybody thought it was absolutely wonderful.

I wouldn't have worn it, but then I can remember my mother's deep disapproval of one or two of my party dresses.

On the otherhand I always remember the family story of my grandmother as a young girl, when some one, possibly her mother, said she couldn't go out in something because t was not fashionable. ' I do not follow fashion, I set it.' - and she did. Despite very limited resources, all our photos of her show her always looking slim and elegant.

So Bowdie, don't worry or criticise, rejoice in your DGD's indifference to what other people say and determination to dress the way she wants that way lies success in life.

My daughter's quirky taste in clothes and shoes as a teenager caused many comments from older friends and family.
She went from university to work in fashion.
Embrace her individuality.

Lovely to her, ugly to you. Sounds normal!
Leave her be.
When my DGD#1 left school for 6th form college the first thing she did was go shopping with her pals to charity shops for non uniform clothes, earrings etc. She came home looking very happy.
She's now at university studying art.

It's her prom

It is the dress she picked ans she loves

Respect her decision

No don’t ask anyone let her be, it’s her choice and if she has a quirky dress sense she may already be used to the negative comments or maybe others are better than we think It’s her night her choice and your job to say ‘ you look lovely’
I hate these proms all the kids with parents with a bit of money turn up in big chauffeur driven cars, or helicopters, army trucks motorbikes or whatever ! Those without just slink out of mum or Dads old banger

Thanks gingster. When she tried it on in the shop a few of the younger girls said it was lovely- not sure if they were being polite. It is most certainly not a dress anyone else would wear. We got it in a charity shop and it's either a dress made for a theatre production or a bridesmaid. I think I need to celebrate her individuality!