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Unsafe to drive?

(118 Posts)
middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 11:04:30

I have a dear friend but we only meet as members of the same group. The subject of his driving has been, over the last couple of years , much discussed but not directly with him. As we all car share then it has become apparent that no one will share with this lovely man because of his erratic, sometimes dangerous driving. We all offer to drive and he says he gets it,he understands that no one will drive with him. However last night he came to a meeting and left his car outside, keys in engine running! A neighbour told us. I left before it came to light. We are seriously worried for him and other motorists but what can we do. He lives alone and relies on his car and won't accept our so far 'Joking' comments.

pompa Fri 29-Apr-16 16:54:40

I have the early stages of AMD in one eye, but do not have any blind spots and my eyesight has not deteriorated. My prescription has change only slightly over the last 5 years . My AMD was only spotted during a hospital retinal examination following viscous detachment. I now have annual eye tests and it has not become any more advanced.

granjura Fri 29-Apr-16 17:05:06

And that is wonderful Pompa, and long may it last. But as you say you have not noticed a difference, and it has not affected the way you drive, etc- and you are getting tests regularly- then it is great. Macular degeneration does not stop you driving- but if you clearly notice that it is affecting how, where and when you drive- then you have to think carefully about what next and get professional advice, fill the form to DVLA, etc. To protect yourself, and others - however great the inconvenience to self.

phoenix Fri 29-Apr-16 17:47:35

Just to add my whatever pennyworth the phrase is, I'm 57, wear glasses but no actual eye condition as such, and do everything I can to avoid driving in the dark. It's not too bad in towns with street lights, but on the roads around here I find it very stressful.

pompa Fri 29-Apr-16 18:11:16

I would hope that the optician would advise when it is time to report any deterioration to the DVLA.

Charleygirl Fri 29-Apr-16 18:19:02

I have never liked to drive on unfamiliar roads from the day I passed my test so many years ago. It is zilch to do with my eyesight. I do not have any black spots affecting my eyes. Being the law abiding citizen that I am, I informed the DVLA immediately although I am well aware that I did not have to do it. I have never had an accident but I am not a fan of driving and never have been. That does not mean that I should not be driving.

wot Fri 29-Apr-16 18:22:12

Don't be mean to Grandura; I'm sure she had your best interests at heart. Sorry to poke my nose in....not.

pompa Fri 29-Apr-16 18:52:39

Sorry if I appeared mean to Ganjura, was not intended. flowers

wot Fri 29-Apr-16 19:01:58

flowers

granjura Fri 29-Apr-16 19:40:28

Well that is wonderful Charleygrl- but ot be fair, your intitial post seemed to indicate clearly that your not wanting to drive at night or on unfamiliar roads was linked to your macular degeneration, eg your eyesight. Hope you will see that if you re-read your post. If your sight is not affected by the MD- then that is wonderful- and long may it be so.

But when and if it does, I hope you get the necessary advice and make the necessary adjustments. Having had a fil, my mum and my dad, all 3 drive far beyond the time they should have stopped- and who were a danger to themselves, but much more importantly to others (the subject of this thread after all)- then I think sometimes relatives, friends, doctors, etc- have to have the guts to say NO- you mustn't drive anymore. Fil died getting out of his drive of a heart attack- after being told many times he shouldn't drive. He could have easily had the heart attack a couple of miles down the road instead, or on the M25 going to pick up someone from Heathrow. My young neighbour has been told he musn't drive due to his epilepsy, and he drives his truck every day- lovely guy, but ...

FarNorth Fri 29-Apr-16 20:13:38

If you know that for a fact about your neighbour, granjura, why do you not report him to the police?
It's not very lovely of him to risk other people's lives.

Ana Fri 29-Apr-16 20:16:18

Yes, or perhaps you could have a word with his GP...

janeainsworth Fri 29-Apr-16 20:16:53

Or his GP, as you were telling someone else upthread?

granjura Fri 29-Apr-16 20:19:07

I know- but I don't think I could. About 40, father os 2 young children and a builder by trade. Thing is, his doctor knows he is driving- and of course if he had an accident and hurt (or worse) someone- his epilepsy is on his medical records- so his insurance would be invalidated, and he would face criminal charges. So hard.

granjura Fri 29-Apr-16 20:19:36

The Maire knows, the Councillors know- everyone here.

Jalima Fri 29-Apr-16 20:23:12

But you could just have a chat with his GP and he/she could take it from there surely?

I am 70 and I do not like driving in the dark
There, I've said it at last after 52 years of driving.

granjura Fri 29-Apr-16 20:30:50

His GP is fully aware. Not wanting to drive at night is fine- as long as you don't - as it were.

FarNorth Fri 29-Apr-16 20:36:39

Why not have a chat with his doctor then (seriously) and spell out your fears for the man and the general public?
How great will it be for his 2 young children if the worst does happen?

I suppose everyone, including the doctor, is thinking it's not their problem if he ignores what he has been told.

janeainsworth Fri 29-Apr-16 22:29:54

So, the doctor knows, the maire knows, the councillors know, you know gj, and you all know that everyone else knows, that this person has epilepsy and drives and if he has an accident as a result of having a seizure, his insurance would be invalidated, and none of you are doing anything about it?
You are all complicit in what any reasonable person would regard as criminal negligence.
And you have the barefaced impertinence to lecture Charleygirl and tell her to stop driving shockshockshock

janeainsworth Fri 29-Apr-16 22:30:42

angry

Ana Fri 29-Apr-16 22:31:12

Quite! hmm

janeainsworth Fri 29-Apr-16 22:32:01

That is the first time in four years I have posted a angry

phoenix Fri 29-Apr-16 23:02:58

Damn, my post was lost, so I will go again!

I am really angry with you, Granjura how dare you say that Charleygirl shouldn't be driving when she has taken every sensible measure, opticians, doctor, dvla etc, when you have a neighbour who would seem to be far more of risk to himself and others! Shame on you, seems like double standards to me.

Bellanonna Fri 29-Apr-16 23:10:33

I read charleygirl's posts as saying that she never really enjoyed driving and uses her car for shopping and other local trips. Perfectly reasonable. She also dislikes driving at night as indeed do I. She stated that she has annual compulsory DVLA checks which have always been ok, and I'm sure she herself would be the first to stop driving if she felt her sight was impairing her driving, as opposed to a lifetime of not particularly enjoying driving. I'm sure you meant well GJ but your messages were a bit dramatic where cg was concerned. Perhaps your neighbour has checks, too, and is deemed safe to drive.

Jalima Fri 29-Apr-16 23:14:17

The Maire knows, the Councillors know- everyone here
His GP is fully aware
So how will everyone feel if he kills a pedestrian - perhaps a child?

Charleygirl you are being very sensible and conscientious - would that everyone was like you.

phoenix Fri 29-Apr-16 23:43:28

Bravo, Jalima !