Unsafe to drive?

Perhaps your neighbour has had assurances from his GP and the driving authorities in your country that he's OK to drive, granjura. If not, surely you should report him?

My dh (sadly passed away) began to make errors in driving when he began to fall ill. He failed to see cars on his left and forgot to put the handbrake on more than once. He very wisely gave up driving as his illness got worse. He was 67.

My dear auntie made the decision not to drive when she had an eye problem. She missed driving very much but it was the right decision.

Middleagespread - you could tell your friend stories of others who very sensibly gave up driving for various reasons, if the quiet talk doesn't work.

Bit close to home this. My father had MD only drove locally and on familiar roads. He only gave up when he pulled out in front of another car he had not seen. He carried on driving because mum was blind and he wanted to keep them independence. The family rows were horrific and he was prickly and argumentative to say the least. We, apparently, had no business interfering! Interestingly following his 'grounding' they travelle in style by private hire car with the money released from motoring costs.

Subjects such as this are really emotive with pros and cons on each side of the argument.

This thread has made me think again - I had a car accident about a month ago. My car was a writeoff but luckily no-one hurt - I had a passenger. My first accident in more than 25 years of daily driving. It was mainly my fault, I was distracted, but that so often happens.
I think I should go for some lessons.
Husband had a similar accident 10 years ago, went to the doctor who arranged a brain scan and it was normal.
We're very isolated here, with no public transport. I haven't driven at night for a long time, since a wild boar ran into our van on a dark wet night.

Tricia, that's the problem with living in the countryside. If/ when I can move to a town again I'd give up my car. £285 tax £300 mot, repairs and service etc etc. I'd make full use of me bus pass which I did when I was on holiday and thought it was marvellous. Groceries delivered, taxi when necessary and I'd walk more although I don't like walking (too slow!)

It would be almost impossible to live where I do without a car frightening really. .the old man who used to live next door cycled everywhere,

TriciaF and wot I am aware what it is like living in the countryside- I was brought up in the wilds of Scotland and hated it. I was determined that I would be close to civilisation when I started working many years ago. There is a good bus route but the bus stop is around 12 -15 minutes away at my pace.

I do on line shopping and the heavy items such as cat litter are delivered. I doubt if you two would have that luxury. I am fortunate that I have not been in a position yet to think about moving- I would like to think that this is my last stop but who knows?!

This getting old lark does make one think.

Yes, I can get on_line shopping! I'm only 15 miles from dear old Norwich, but no buses near.

I am truly and sincerely sorry if my post uspet you Charleygirl- and I do hope you will realise that it was NOT PERSONAL- and that my post had a big IF in it.

Having been through this with both my parents- my dad didn't have MC but he drove until he was 94- for exactly the reasons you stated, eg living our in a rural area, and also because my mum became blind (a combination of MC and glaucoma) a few years after her car accident, the last time she drove. Dad also wrote his car off and ended up in a lamp-post- neighbours phoned me in the UK and said all in the village were concerned that he really should not be driving anymore- and it was a miracle no-one was hurt. I talked to him on the phone- and the next day neighbour phoned to say he'd bought a new car, much more powerful than the previous one... It just wouldn't listen to anyone.

In the end, the GP and police visited and told him to give his keys up to them- and he blamed me and my neighbour for interfering. I've sworn to our daughters that if they ever feel the time has come, we would agree to go for full visual and medical + driving skills assessment- and act upon the advice. We have chosen to live near a rural bus stop with excellent service- and swore we would get used to use it if ever necessary. I suffered too much worrying like crazy about my parents' dangerous driving to ever inflict that on my own children.

My son has just taken me to M& S for a few food bits. The little white haired old lady in front of me( a mirror image of myself) had bought the Dine in for £10 offer. The sales girl told her she needed a side dish or the till would not accept the offer. She had no idea what she was saying. I got involved and eventually took her to the shelf and explained again. She said she liked the new potatoes but would not take them today as she didn't need them. Through gritted teeth I explained again and she took croquettes. We went back to the till where she couldn't find her purse, I always have my card out ready, she then admired the tulips on display, decided which she liked and then said but she would leave those until the weekend.
I am sure I don't need to tell you that when I got outside she was getting in her car and driving away. To say I was shocked is putting it mildly, she wasn't fit to be out alone.

annsixty one wonders if she knows where she lives?

its great to see posters supporting Charleygirl and so many honest comments about the impact of ageing on driving confidence.

My father continued driving too long but an accident that wasn't his fault shook him so badly he got rid of his car. Reduced mobility meant he became virtually housebound. He felt isolated and useless, depression followed. We need to be sensitive and non judgemental where we can, I hope not to worry my children but I expect I will however unintentionally. I worried About them charging about in my car as soon as the passed their tests. Fifteen years later, they're still safe, well and driving faster than I do these days.

Granjura I completely understand your post about your parents, but that still leaves the question about the local chap with the epilepsy.

Are you going to do anything about it? I appreciate that he has a family to support, but, as you yourself have said, (although in other words) there is surely a duty of responsibility to other road users?

As said, the Maire and the Councillors know, as do the police- as do everybody here in the area.

Checked with one of the local Councillors to day who said that as he has not had another fit for over 1 year and it he had a night fit rather than a day one- he has now been given the OK to drive. He clearly drove for the whole period he was banned- bar the first 3 weeks after the event. All fingers crossed.

Different issue though, but thanks.

Glad to hear that gj. Must be a relief for you to know.

Granjura It has been beautiful weather for driving-I did enjoy visiting friends for coffee and a chat yesterday. I do not like to be treated to such unnecessary diatribes, I feel as though I have been bullied and patronised by you when medically I have followed the letter of the law. I have had so much support from other GNs that I was overwhelmed with their kindness.

Charleygirl glad you had a good day yesterday and had some

granjura has the young man been passed medically fit to drive by a doctor? My friend was not allowed to drive for three years after she had an epileptic fit., even though she had only two and none since.
Another young man I knew had three crashes in his father's car before it was discovered he had epilepsy (no other vehicles involved).

He drove while banned and the police knew about it, granjura?

I agree Jalima I know somebody who had fits at night and had to be free from fits and on medication for 3 years with constant monitoring afterwards. He had to pay extra for car insurance although he has never had an accident in his life.

My friend's husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and was at first reluctant to contemplate surrendering his licence as my friend doesn't drive and we live in a village. Oddly enough it was becoming a grandfather which made him change his mind and surrender his licence voluntarily . The thought that he might have his grandson in the car was what made him see sense.
DH started having the odd dizzy episode (similar to labyrinthitis, but wasn't) after his heart op 5 years ago and decided immediately that although they had never happened while he was behind the wheel, once could be once too often, so has given up driving ever since.
The thought of an "illegal" lorry driver makes my blood run cold. Do you remember the Glasgow bin-lorry driver who ploughed into a crowd of Christmas shoppers in December 2014 (?) . He claimed he had never blacked out while driving but hid his history of blackouts when he applied for the job. Not just irresponsible, criminal.

When DH lost most of his peripheral vision following a stroke, his opthalmology results were borderline so he was told he could appeal, in fact, if we lived in Holland, he would have passed

I saw the results and the amount of 'black' on the chart - showing where he didn't react to a light shone on the screen - worried me so I was relieved when he quickly decided that although borderline, his results meant that nobody would feel safe in a car with him again so he surrendered his licence immediately.

I know how tough it was for him give up something he loved so it makes me angry when others feel it's OK to bend the rules and put others at risk.

To add to that, there is the widespread acceptance of the Eleventh Commandment - "thou shalt not be found out" , in other words as long as you are not caught .......... but by that time it could be too late.

Charleygirl, don't you think that you've told Granjura off enough now????

Charleygirl I have apologised- and am happy to apologize again, although it will probably not make a difference. Your intial post was not clear at all re:

'I feel as though I have been bullied and patronised by you when medically I have followed the letter of the law.' -

which makes all the difference. My initital response had a big IF in it- that IF you feel your vision is impaired and it makes you nervous to drive on unfamiliar road- then you shouldn't be driving. This is neither patronising, nor bullying. I'll apologise again- but hope that if one day you come to realise your MD is getting worse, you'll know when the time has come. Many people, including my parents, as clearly explained, didn't - same for many others I know or have known in the family, neighbours and friends.

I'm glad you got a lot of support from other Gneters- but I can assure you many have written to me to say they think my comment was not unkind- and that the big IF was clear to them.

I do hope you will continue to drive confidently and safely for a very long time and that your MD doesn't worsen, as it did for my mother. She was a very confident driver- one of the first women to drive in our area and just loved it. She drove to the UK to come and see us a few times, swithching to driving on the left and into London, in her 70s, without any nerves or hesitation. Stopping driving was a huge blow for her- so I am fully aware. Bonne chance.

Each country has their own rules re medical conditions- and my neighbour has been given the official OK. You'll find that in very rural areas, like here- even the authorities and the police do close a blind eye if someone's livelihood is at stake- rightly or wrongly (I'd say wrongly).

Some hurts run deep Wot and it can be hard to move on from aspersions which undermine one's independence - they can be hard to forget - as we get older, but not interfering, that is between CG and her critic.