DH wanting to book another holiday

Why doesn’t he just arrange his own holidays, and go by himself?

Has anyone else noticed affordable holidays advertised, and upon investigation, its only a 3 or 4 day break.

Why does it have to be all towards what he wants ? There are two of you in this marriage and there should be equal respect for what you both want. My husband and I shared sailing together but that was in a way camping on water. Loved the sailing but it was still all diy. So we used to have 3/4 days going away for bed and breakfast or staying somewhere for a little treat for a couple of times in the year. I used to go with a friend to Italy in february, as we both were involved in music and art and to go there at that time we had the opportunity to look at pictures in a quiet time and enjoy them. So in the same way he could think about what he might enjoy doing with someone else for a short time. You may also want to go somewhere with a friend but actually might just enjoy staying at home with less to do and enjoy some peace and quiet. His idea that there are only holidays that make life worthwhile is rather sad and I hope that he finds something that he can enjoy at home perhaps helping with a charity or joining a group with some interest they share, but whatever he decides to do, whilst it will be good if you can share some time or hobby together , he should not be allowed to make your life more difficult and to take over all the available cash. Whatever finance you have should be shared equally to enjoy, and not let him insist in it all being spent in the way he wants. If you have family you trust or a close friend I would talk it through with them but if not just think things through and then simply state to him in a quiet tone that you will not be doing x or y , that he can organise something he wants to do for himself but that you prefer a or b or just do not want to leave home at this time. Unless you resolve this now you will find that this will come up time and again and it doesnt sound as though it will be resolved in a fair way for you. You have every right to chose your own way and I wish you good luck and that 2024 will be a more evenly shared and better way for you .

I haven’t had a holiday in 17 years ….have you any idea how lucky you are!?

Is there a local tourist board(or similar) he could volunteer at he’d be perfect—— I have a friend that does that & she loves it,she used to be a big traveller but due to health now can’t travel as much——- he needs to volunteer somewhere,good luck.

I wouldn’t book a holiday until well after a cataract operation however straightforward it may seem. There’s a regime of drops to be managed and the possibility of infection plus a change in eyesight which means a new prescription but not until eyes are stable. Plus the insurance issues mentioned. I’d rather wait until I was certain all was well. It seems selfish to expect you to be involved n coping with potential problems which could be minimised by staying at home for a while.

grandtanteJE65

Indeed, well said!

I would go away with him and then "collapse/be very unwell" for the duration of the holiday, taking to your bed and really milking the situation to the best of your acting ability.

Septimia

If your DH wants you to want the holiday, maybe you could sometimes find something you would like to do and ask him to book that. You could then perhaps pick something that's easier for you physically.

Wise advice.

@janeainsworth we may well have been on the same cruise from Newcastle. Thank you all for your input. Saggi I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to go away for 17 years. I know I’m lucky to not have worries other than my own health and total lack of energy. i’ve bitten the bullet as he asked me to make a decision today. He will not go on his own as various people have suggested,believe me I have suggested he invite teenage dgc and I realise plenty of people would like Togo away as much as he wants to I have said that I will go on a cruise to Iceland. I’ve told him it has to be as luxurious as possible but he loves a bargain! I have all the packing and unpacking and all the thinking about closing up the house and making sure bills are paid so there are no surprises when I come back. It is not meant to be offensive to people who can’t go on holiday for any reason but I honestly feel I’ve not got much strength for day to day living and this is an added burden not a joy. I try to keep my DH happy .

but why does what he wants hold sway.
why can't you just say no.

does he try to keep you happy.

I find getting in early works best, last summer I mentioned NZ and it’s all booked, but he has to consult because of my holidays from work. We both enjoy the same things, a long weekend at short notice he will spring on me.

I suggest point him in the right direction then let him plan

Quizzer

No one else seems to have mentioned insurance. It is almost impossible to get travel insurance if you are waiting for an operation. If you don’t tell the insurance company, even if you have annual insurance, it may invalidate the whole policy.

This was my first thought. I have been waiting months to book a holiday because I can't get insurance while waiting for treatment.
Having said that I have entirely the opposite problem, I would have a holiday every couple of months but DH would be happy never to leave the house. When he does go on holiday he doesn't like certain types. I have lots of health issues and he is fit but getting on in years.
However he does compromise and we get away abroad a couple of times a year and have a few UK trips. I don't get exactly what I want and nor does he.

Yes but “waiting” for a cataract operation is unlikely to influence risk for an insurer.
Recovery time afterwards might.