How do I tell friend I don’t want to travel with her?

Well you say close friends then say you don’t know her that well? Is she a new member of your group ?
I think it’s a huge dilemma as the company could be good, or awful and everything in between
What’s the alternative …going alone ? Are you happy travelling alone have you done long distance before on your own it can be a bit daunting and lonely, but going with someone you might end up not liking much would be worse
My mantra would be if you’re not sure stay as you planned originally

Three weeks is a long time to travel with someone you ‘don’t know that well, and with health issues’.

Have you encouraged her when she suggests going with you, but now having second thoughts?

If you are ok with being on your own, I would pay the extra for single and stick to original plan.

Might be awkward if she is still up for it. 🤷‍♀️

Are you planning on going as part of a bigger group?

If it is organised group travel then you can’t really stop her booking a place, but Id stick with a single room. Even when I travelled with my sister we had single rooms! And say you’re going in a group because you’ll both want to mix with lots of new people and all go around together. And do just that!

If you were planning to go it alone you can just be pleasant and say actually this is my solo adventure., something I’ve always wanted to do.

Or you could go into in detail, making it sound as demanding and uncomfortable as possible. With an itinerary that includes lots of climbing, love GN days, cheap local stayovers and live st of on and off public transport, humping your luggage with you.
😬

Tell her you have chronic sleep issues, and that on second thoughts you would much rather sleep on your own in your own room.
It’s hard enough sharing a room with a good friend, never mind someone you hardly know.

love GN??????

long is what I typed…….

You say you’ve sharing your thoughts on travelling……….so, does that mean you haven’t booked anything as yet? That being the case, simply stop talking about it, make your own plans and discuss with no one! Go and enjoy the trip by yourself…..no one to consider, no one to answer to, no one to look after.
Also, it might turn out that the friends health problems make travel insurance too costly.

I would have serious concerns about travelling with this lady too. Everything in life is a risk, including the travel itself, but do have a further conversation with your daughters. It may help your decision, one way or another, but also follow your heart. There’s somewhere I’d really like to travel to abroad, long distance, but I can’t find anyone to go with me and my husband’s not interested, so if I could find a friend to go with, I’d go - but I’d still want to feel reasonably secure within that friendship before booking the holiday. Good luck!

Tell her you snore loudly and book a single room!

Sharing a room is my idea of Hell, regardless of how good the friend is. I think I would prefer a travelling companion to going alone, although I have never holidayed alone, so can't be sure, but I need somewhere to decompress and be on my own, even if just for half an hour or so a day.

Also, I'm an absolute joy to share with, as also sleep badly, and like to have the light on when I'm awake at night, which would be annoying for a roommate, and I have a low tolerance of snoring.

If you have similar foibles, could you agree to travel with her and stay in the same accommodation, but in separate rooms?

Just be honest and tell her you need your own room. I never ever share a room anyone bar the DH. I snore, I don’t sleep well and I have tummy issues, I did share a room with a close friend a couple of years ago at Ragdale, despite me telling her several times I’m a nightmare and she got zero sleep and it ruined her trip! I felt so so guilty despite telling her several times it was not a good idea! X

I would make a list of all the places and activities you intend to visit and do, show her and see if she's still up for it explaining if needed with health issues it may not work for her

I would say something like:

This is a trip Ive planned for many years Jane and its very important for me to travel solo. I have my own schedule that I intend to follow and am really not perpared to compromise. This is nothing personal but I really dont want anyone with me. This is my final decision.

I will always recall one disasterous holiday where a friend and I were joined by two of her friends. I was the only one who spoke fluent French and found myself acting as the unpaid tour guide, doing all the organising, translating and so on. While I was off having some "me" time one of the group was foolish enough to leave her bag (with all her money, passpost etc) at a cafe and they expected me to sort everything out for them. Needless to say I left them to their own devices. We all travelled back on the train on separate seats.

I havnt been to South America but have travelled solo to some challenging places like Iran and Syria. Its very important to me to have my own schedule - or not, depending on how I feel that day. And I would never share a room.

If you are looking to book on a tour or with a larger group - for example a Kuoni trip - I'd say she won't necessarily impinge too much - unless she is clingy (but you will know this).

I would not share a room.
No no.
Just say you don't fancy a room share.
I don't think you need to justify this or she will try to persuade you.

Say "I feel I really don't want to share"
If she asks why then say "I feel that I'm better on my own"... or "I feel sharing isn't really for me" or "I feel I need my own space" ...
Anything you feel can not be denied.

If you are a solo traveller I'd do the same "I feel..."

Best to be honest about feeling - you don't need to say why - or even understand it!

Have a great trip.

Be brave and tell her you had always planned to do this trip alone, I think your daughters are correct!
Three weeks on a long haul holiday with someone you dont know very well and sharing a room, recipe for disaster - in my opinion! Your proposed travelling companion has health issues too! Red flags most definitely waving. I think you have already made your mind up , just do it as gently as possible.
She will get over it!!!
God luck.

friendlygingercat has a good response but it's blunt and if you are someone more easily persuaded she will say she is "up for it" or "won't be any bother" or (horror of horrors) will just quietly "tag along" with your choices!!!

Beware or be tough!

There is no way on this earth that I would share a room with someone.

Three weeks is far too long to be with someone you don't know very well. Just say that you hope she doesn't mind, but you have planned a trip on your own.

My very good friend, with whom I'd travelled before, asked me to join her on a longer, further trip.
I just got a feeling that it might not work out, and declined in a very honest and friendly way, saying it was too far for me.
My good friend went with someone else and she died whilst there.
I felt terrible in one way, but relieved I didn't have to cope with arranging the repatriation of her body.
I was invited to speak at her funeral about what a brave and intrepid lady she was.

friendlygingercat

I would say something like:

This is a trip Ive planned for many years Jane and its very important for me to travel solo. I have my own schedule that I intend to follow and am really not perpared to compromise. This is nothing personal but I really dont want anyone with me. This is my final decision.

I will always recall one disasterous holiday where a friend and I were joined by two of her friends. I was the only one who spoke fluent French and found myself acting as the unpaid tour guide, doing all the organising, translating and so on. While I was off having some "me" time one of the group was foolish enough to leave her bag (with all her money, passpost etc) at a cafe and they expected me to sort everything out for them. Needless to say I left them to their own devices. We all travelled back on the train on separate seats.

I havnt been to South America but have travelled solo to some challenging places like Iran and Syria. Its very important to me to have my own schedule - or not, depending on how I feel that day. And I would never share a room.

I remember this - a warning indeed!

Unfortunately friend of friend left a bag with her passport, cash and travel cheques (1970s) on the floor under the table and it was gone when they returned. Long frustrating trip to local police for report (We could have done with your help we don’t speak French) and by the time the translator arrived it was too late to go to the British Embassy for a replacement passport. When I got back to the hotel late evening I was confronted by three hostile companions who made out how it was my fault for “abandoning” them. Next morning there was more bickering because I would not accompany them to the British Embassy to apply for the replacement passport. “We don’t speak French” “Well be prepared for lots of waiting around, form filling and queuing. But Ive got some good news for you. They speak English in the British Embassy so you don’t need me to babysit you
We sat on separate seats on the train back to Calais

This is a ‘hook on’ to your planned trip, your friend
will be a legiron and you will abandon her in Rio.

Good advice here but I do see your dilemma.
I host travellers through an online platform called Help exchange.
I often have single people and ask them why they choose to go alone.
Often it's because they need to be independent and not compromise on their plans.
Other times it's so they're not tempted to chat in their own language.

Some do come as couples but they are just that, couples. I once hosted 2 German friends who had a big fall out after a paint fight in my bathroom which still has the scars😉

There are no circumstances under which I would ever share a room with anyone except, perhaps, one of my little grandchildren. I want to sleep without hearing someone else breathing (and worse), and I want to use the bathroom without any other adult around.

Thanks all. I think I just needed confirmation to do the right thing for us both.

If you invent some excuse like "I snore, I keep the light on, I insist on a single room", you're giving her a perfect excuse to respond "Oh great, so do I. Lets both have single rooms".

Just tell her the truth , you're travelling alone because

"This is something I've dreamed/ saved/ planned for years, a solo long-distance trip all by myself with no travel companions. No distractions or demands from anyone at all, nobody to answer to, just me. ".

If she comes back with reasons to take a friend , it would suit her perfectly and could she just....

" I am going alone so that I don't have to negotiate or compromise or explain anything to anybody else."