Ettiquete on public transport

Once, having been sitting on a bus waiting for it to depart the terminus, a very flustered woman came clattering on at the last minute and stood beside me, smartyPhone in hand (they were new-ish then) and demanded "you have to move - I need to sit there or Bluetooth won't work!"

She had such an overbearing and bullying attitude (and looked like it) that I moved across the aisle. More coward me!

Whaddyaknow - Bluetooth or Bluebeard or Bluemurder, or whatever it was, refused to work. Oh, what a shame......

1 -nil to Karma I think.

Fallingstar

I had a similar experience when a woman thought her cake tin, presumably with cake, needed a seat, she was sitting in a priority seat at the front of the bus so I asked nicely if she would move the tin so my disabled husband could sit next to her, she huffed and puffed and indicated that there were seats further down the bus to which I replied that if my husband attempted to walk down the bus as it set off he would fall down because a stroke had left him with no balance and impaired eyesight. She moved the tin. Most people are very understanding and kind.

Stagecoach bus drivers should NOT be moving off until every passenger has taken a seat let alone just those occupying a priority seat.
I know this for a fact as a recently used the bus service rather than take the car into town. The driver clearly saw my walking sticks but chose to pull away BEFORE I was seated and caused me to overbalance. I complained to Stagecoach who confirmed the rules.

Oldnproud

As a child, I always stood if an adult needed my seat. As a young child, I would have sat on my mum's knee.

However, I suspect that there is less room between seats nowadays, as there is not room for my three year old dgc to sit on my lap (amd I am quite slim), and even when he was smaller it was almost impossible to get the two of us plus my shopping bag on one seat.

And then there is the safety issue - it is illegal to carry a child in a car without them being very firmly strapped into a seat, so I can see why parents don't expect them to stand up, totally unrestrained, on a bus. It is safer for healthy adults to stand than children, and I still give up my seat if someone clearly needs it more than I do - whatever their age.

On our local buses, children age five and over have to pay full fare too, so in that respect are as entitled to a seat as anyone else.

Where do you live? It’s very unusual to charge full fare for over 5’s.

Oreo

Of course it doesn’t help when people, after being offered a seat choose to decline it.

Why doessn't help. I hav eoffered people my seat and had it declined. I had no problem with it.

If I am on a tube, I decline graciously saying I am getting off at the next stop.

argymargy

Oldnproud

As a child, I always stood if an adult needed my seat. As a young child, I would have sat on my mum's knee.

However, I suspect that there is less room between seats nowadays, as there is not room for my three year old dgc to sit on my lap (amd I am quite slim), and even when he was smaller it was almost impossible to get the two of us plus my shopping bag on one seat.

And then there is the safety issue - it is illegal to carry a child in a car without them being very firmly strapped into a seat, so I can see why parents don't expect them to stand up, totally unrestrained, on a bus. It is safer for healthy adults to stand than children, and I still give up my seat if someone clearly needs it more than I do - whatever their age.

On our local buses, children age five and over have to pay full fare too, so in that respect are as entitled to a seat as anyone else.

Where do you live? It’s very unusual to charge full fare for over 5’s.

Near Northampton.
Stagecoach buses,

I’ve just returned from the city, travelling by bus. On the outward journey, the driver had to tell a woman with a mobility aid, wanting to get on, that there was no room as the places were already taken (by three young mums travelling together with children in pushchairs). He said she would have to wait 20 minutes for the next bus. Overhearing this the mums said they were getting off at the next stop so they’d get off now and walk the rest of the way. It’s only about 300 metres to the next stop, nevertheless, I thought it very kind.

If the bus is full I often ask someone to move their bag. Frequently they will be scrolling their phone, pretending not to have noticed that other people need that seat.

I occasionally get an eye- roll (usually from a young woman) but nobody has ever refused and eye-rolls bother me not at all.

I was on a bus once and there was this young lad sitting in the disabled seat. A very elderly, yet sprightly lady got on and went straight up to him and said' Would you mind if grandma sat on your lap?' I have never seen anyone jump up so fast and give up his seat.

Graphite

I’ve just returned from the city, travelling by bus. On the outward journey, the driver had to tell a woman with a mobility aid, wanting to get on, that there was no room as the places were already taken (by three young mums travelling together with children in pushchairs). He said she would have to wait 20 minutes for the next bus. Overhearing this the mums said they were getting off at the next stop so they’d get off now and walk the rest of the way. It’s only about 300 metres to the next stop, nevertheless, I thought it very kind.

I don't know if it's the same in the rest of the country, but in London, wheelchairs are given priority. I'm not sure what a mobility aid is, but if it was a wheelchair then the woman you saw would have been given priority over a pushchair. This is usually resolved amicably by a pushchair being moved to an area by the exit where there is more room.

There was an awful instance a few months ago, on a cold, wet, day, when a woman pushing an elderly lady in a wheelchair tried to board the bus. There was no room to park the wheelchair in the allotted space as there were two prams taking up the space. Several of us tried to persuade one of the mums, not to leave the bus, but to move the pram nearer the exit where there was sufficient room, so that the lady in the wheelchair could take the space she was entitled to. Neither mum was prepared to make space for the wheelchair.
The driver spoke to the two mothers but they ignored him. He did refuse to move the bus until room was made for the wheelchair, but gave in, possibly because the two mums were so aggressive,

The end result was that the elderly lady was left in the cold and rain.

One of the mums left the bus at the next stop ..........

Always told my own children to stand for someone else older,and to move their bags etc,(or i put a young child on my knee) so yes did and do encourage them and now they have also brought up their children with the same good manners.Manners costs nothing.It depends how they are brought up doesnt it..Some,sadly,are dragged up,as the saying used to go.

Sadly, the country has gone to the dogs.

One of my adult children is now a bus driver,and he is very popular because he always helps older folk get on/off safely if they need help,or makes sure they can sit down ok before setting off.Like i said, he was brought up with good manners& to be kind.

I once tried get my youngest child on bus,in his buggy,complete with his heavy oxygen tank & breathing monitor(he was an early baby) but driver refused,saying there were 2prams already,i asked if i could at least ask if one of the mums could fold their buggy up maybe,but he refused.I obviously could not put mine down,and in effect we should have had same priority as a wheelchair user- but still driver refused.I reported him to inspector,something i had never bothered to do before.

ArthurAskey

Sadly, the country has gone to the dogs.

I can only speak from experience. I use public transport most days. I obviously look more immobile than I actually am, as if all seats are taken on a bus or tube that I am travelling on, it would be very unusual for me not to be offered a seat. There are inconsiderate people on public transport, but I find most fellow travellers will offer their seat if they see someone who needs the seat more than they do.

I'm 68 and still stand for somebody if they look like they need the seat more than I do

My pet hate is older people and families setting up camp on the disabled seats near the front of the bus.

I am an older person age 71 with joint and mobility problems who uses crutches and has a disabled buss pass.

Lots of older retired woman pile on the bus with packed shopping trolleys. After waking around all afternoon shopping. So presumably they don't have problems walking

They take up two sats seats. One for them to sit on and one for their other parcels and bags.

These people are very entitled and selfish. And think the world is all about them

It used to be printed on every bus on the front partition about children giving up their seat to older people at busy times - I still have that imprinted on my brain in my 60s

Anyone who has an item on a seat and complains about moving it I ask how much they were charged for the item to be seated on the bus/train.
Etiquette has diminshed over the years, it's everyman for themself. When GC were small I would have sat them on my knee or moved to the outside seat so I could be beside them if they were standing. No chance now at 5'11 and 5'8".

So many posters remember the time when children were expected to sit on mum's lap or stand, to give the seat to an adult.

Sadly, times have changed and there is a lot of entitlement now.

It wasn't really dangerous for a child to stand, as the mums used to sit in the aisle seat and give the window seat to the adult who needed it. They would have their arm around the child.

If I use my stick on buses, I have always been offered a seat, so perhaps things aren't as bad as they are portrayed.

Its very easy to teach children good manners and courtesy, starts in the home.

I recently had to stand all of the journey on a packed train. So did my husband with his poorly knee.
There was other older folks and a young mum having to carry her toddler the whole time.
The seats were taken by football fans , lots of men , young women and lots of kids .
Not a single one offered anyone, even the mum with the baby ,a seat .
I was disgusted.
Not on my own behalf as I am fit and well at 70 but for the less able and that girl.
It left me wondering how old I will have to be before I am considered an old lady who needs a seat .... And yes , I do have white hair and wrinkles!

I took my grandson on a bus ride to the cinema when he was only 3. As the bus filled up I suggested he sat on my lap to let a man sit down who was standing, but he made a fuss and didn't want too. The standing man said not to worry and that he was fine standing. I was embarassed as I was brought up to give up my seat for an adult, but my grandson isn't used to travelling by bus regularly so he sees it as a treat and wants his own seat. Thankfully there was plenty room on the way home!

When I was working as a Reg Childminder I always led by example and we moved out of the path of prams, elderly etc and let those people go ‘inside (away from kerbside ). When it was just myself and the child/children or pushchair I expected the same courtesy and would verbally thank those who moved to let us pass ‘inside’ furthest from the kerb.
It was usually rude elderly people that let my little ones hold the door for them and not take the open door and say thank you!
Parents and Elders should show manners and lead by example.
I would ask anyone jogging a seat on a bus, train to move their feet, bag etc…
On the underground, people often offer me their seat ( I must look so old and frail)🥴

Jogging (!) obvs should be hogging!