Ettiquete on public transport

I don't like it when I'm allocated a seat when I book trains online. More often than not someone is sitting in the seat and don't move when I say that's my seat or are 'asleep' or staring blankly with headphones in. I'd rather not have the conflict.

NannaFirework

When I was working as a Reg Childminder I always led by example and we moved out of the path of prams, elderly etc and let those people go ‘inside (away from kerbside ). When it was just myself and the child/children or pushchair I expected the same courtesy and would verbally thank those who moved to let us pass ‘inside’ furthest from the kerb.
It was usually rude elderly people that let my little ones hold the door for them and not take the open door and say thank you!
Parents and Elders should show manners and lead by example.
I would ask anyone jogging a seat on a bus, train to move their feet, bag etc…
On the underground, people often offer me their seat ( I must look so old and frail)🥴

I couldn't agree with you more about leading by example and, yes, always thank people who have been polite. I am always cross when I have opened a door, or waited for someone, and don't even receive eye contact let alone a thank-you.
I would have thought that, if someone needs a seat, and if they ask a person sitting if they may have their seat, particularly if that person is sitting in a priority seat, then that person will give up their seat? Sometimes people just need to be asked?
It's a bit of a family joke, but I was sent to the local shops on my own from a very young age to buy whatever groceries were needed. I was taught to hold the shop door open for older people. I was quite indignant, because the older people would just walk through the door, sometimes they thanked me, sometimes not, which meant that I would often find myself at the end of a long queue 😡 I was still encouraged to continue holding the door open for adults though.

M0nica

Oreo

Of course it doesn’t help when people, after being offered a seat choose to decline it.

Why doessn't help. I hav eoffered people my seat and had it declined. I had no problem with it.

I think it doesn’t help because if kind offers of a seat are often declined then the kind offers will soon dry up.

Nomadica reminded me of this. I'd paid extra to reserve 2 train seats which as I half expected were occupied. Two females, probably about 19/20, were busy slapping on their faces and chose to ignore me when I politely asked them to move. They refused and disputing we'd not reserved those seats. To be fair there were no reserved tickets on our seats or anywhere else for that matter. They were so arrogant and mouthing off to me and even said we should go to another carriage further down where there'd be free seats so told them they'd have no problems then either. Still refused and by this stage I was about to lose my rag because they'd caused such a scene themselves shouting that they'd also got the majority of the carriage on their side. So not only them but others around having a go at me saying I was in the wrong and that just because we were old didn't entitle us to those seats!! I just couldn't believe (well I could) that the 2 females took the attitude of me me me when we were 2 oap's, one of which was clearly disabled and expected us to stand for the 2 hour journey and having paid the extra to avoid standing for so long. I said if they didn't move I'd sit on the nearest one's lap and started to move her make up bags to set my suitcase on the table. Luckily the ticket officer happened to come into the carriage right then. After some explaining from me and showing my reserved tickets, the females arguing to the staff that they were there first, the staff told them they needed to move with much huffing and puffing from them. We sat down and spent the rest of our journey hearing others in the carriage making deliberately loud obnoxious comments about us. I'd had enough by then and decided I wasn't going to be intimidated any further so stood up and asked them to feel free to check our tickets and that I hoped they'd never find themselves in this situation when they are older. It put a bit of a downer on the start of a long looked forward to weekend break. Coward of a DH said nothing throughout.

Oreo

M0nica

Oreo

Of course it doesn’t help when people, after being offered a seat choose to decline it.

Why doessn't help. I hav eoffered people my seat and had it declined. I had no problem with it.

I think it doesn’t help because if kind offers of a seat are often declined then the kind offers will soon dry up.

But tthat is unlikely to happen because most people do accept a seat with gratitude. If one person consistently says no it will be to a different person each time, or if it is the same person they will stop offering a seat to that specific individual.

ClicketyClick good for you girl! Isn’t it awful tho that bystanders who clearly saw the ticket officer telling them to move carried on muttering their abusive comments.
What has this country come to?🤬
I expect your DH didn’t want to argue as they were young women, but he could have and should have, backed you up.

If the offer of a seat is declined several times ( on different journeys and to different people obvs) then it does make a generous person feel it isn’t worth doing.

My eldest son offered to lift a young woman’s case up onto a rack for her. She turned round and told him that she was perfectly capable of doing it herself. He doesn’t offer now.

kjmpde

When I was a child it was considered good manners for a child to stand up if an adult wanted a seat on the bus. People also moved their hats, bags etc if they saw a passenger who needed a seat. Now I see young children occupying a seat. People who will not move their things or move up to allow people to sit down-. I find it is the mature people who have the least manners. I had to ask a woman in her 50s to move her bag so I could sit down. She then spoke on her phone about sitting "next to an idiot". She stood up to get off the bus but did not say excuse me . I said I was getting off at the next stop and as suggested by the signs on the bus - it was best to sit down till the bus stopped. When we got off, she walked a few yards and turned round and told me that I needed to have manners. I personally thought it was the other way around

so my question to the grans generation - do you encourage your grandkids to stand up or sit on your lap? do you move your bag or hat to allow people to sit down?

or am i living in the wrong era?

What a rude woman! What gets me is people who put their bags/coats etc on the seat next to them on a crowded train depriving others of seats.

I sat on a priority seat on the bus today. Next to me was a young, fit woman. An elderly lady with shopping came on and was standing. I tapped the girl on the shoulder, pointed to the priority sign and the woman and in fairness instantly leapt out of her seat.