Blanche's views on Postman Pat...
"Early in the morning, when the day is dawning...' Your real Postman Pat rolls up about noon wearing a pair of shorts and his breakfast. And if he's not chucking elastic bands like confetti, he'll be rifling through your birthday cards for ready cash, or leaving your valuables out on the step. And as for Mrs Goggins, she'd be cowering behind three-inch glass with a baseball bat under the counter... assuming that her post office hasn't been shut down, of course."
On Gail: "She loves a drama, that Gail. Loves a drama. Never happy unless she's got someone's hands round her throat."
On going to a funeral: "How do I look? Cos it's a fine line between Roy Orbison and Jackie Onassis."
... to Deirdre:
Good looks are a curse, Deirdre. You and Kenneth should count yourselves lucky.
... on Liz McDonald:
Skirt no bigger than a belt, too much eyeliner, and roots as dark as her soul.