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Support please from other single grans (and no I am not a widow) and neither was I an unmarried mother.

(2 Posts)
Florabunda60 Wed 29-Aug-18 09:22:57

Where are the other single parents who are now grans? Let's support one another.
I am sick of the pitying and patronising marriage obsessed adult children and married in-laws of those children in my family.
Single grandparents are many in number and quite a different "breed"; we love being happy, caring, interested and taking care of ourselves and others whilst should we wish still having friendships/partnerships. We are just as moral as anybody else and I, for one detest the hippocracy and attitude of superiority I witness from those who view themselves as examples of virtue simply because they are in a marriage. My son's wife and in-laws have the attitudes of the 1950's towards marriage which might be fine if they were not deluding themselves. Their awful attitudes have destroyed me and the happy and transparent relationships my children and I shared with each other after I was subjected to abuse by their own father whilst married to him. He was arrested for what he did to me.
Now those children have children of their own and they are my grandchildren. My grandchildren are being denied by my children's spouses and their other grandparents wonderful relationships with their gran which not only hurts those very young children and me, their gran but also my adult children who witness, and attempt to "adjudicate" this living horror story we are in. Those young children will be scarred for their entire lives as I and their parents, my children are. And all because of a too prevalent view that marriage is admirable whatever the reality is for the individuals and children within it.

DoraMarr Wed 29-Aug-18 09:41:04

I’m sorry you had such a difficult marriage. It has obviously deeply wounded you. You should feel proud that you have brought up your children alone. I’m sorry you have such a difficult relationship with your daughter- in -law and her family too, but, difficult though it may be, try not to let their antiquated attitudes sour your relationships with your other family.