Do I meet up with this person?

Good Grief!

ExDancer

Good Grief!

I gather from this response ExDancer that you are referring to the possibility that this person isn’t who they say they are. The PP are quite right to mention their concerns.
However, you live on a working farm…….there’s machinery, slippery surfaces, uneven ground, and farm animals I imagine. This is NO place for a holiday…..not even in an adjoining field! You are not a petting zoo, or a children’s playground, and you simply cannot risk this family coming along for a jolly holiday in you place of work unless you are fully insured, which I doubt you are.
Send the family details of campsites a reasonable distance away and arrange to meet for lunch or afternoon tea but well away from your farm!
Allow them this one time and you’ll be forever having them drop in for a few days.

I agree with other posters - you have a working farm, which will not be suitable for visitors to park their camper van on. Plus, the insurance is a biggie, I doubt any insurance you have covers holiday makers on your farm - imagine the financial cost to you if one of them was injured. Basically, it could ruin your livelihood, as your insurance is unlikely to cover them.
I know you don’t run a holiday business on your farm, but it would probably be seen by the council that you were having people stay on your land without the correct permissions from them if something were to happen. You’d be opening yourself up to possible prosecution if things did go awry.
Follow your gut instinct on this and say no. You don’t need to apologise to this person about it, either.

Do not allow any meet ups. This seems “off” I would personally go no contact and block all further communication forthwith - do not explain just do it. Sounds harsh but the children very likely don’t exist and if they do they can go anywhere in their (mobile) campervan on an insured site and PAY. If you are posting your concerns here you already know something isn’t right.

Thats a big ask for a first time meet up, you may get on whilst talking on line, but face to face is completely different, why not meet half way for lunch on nuteral ground,

The holiday stay is obviously inappropriate, but meeting half way for lunch could allow you to find out if your friendship is best kept online.

Kate1949

How on earth do you become 'good friends' with someone you've met on a social media platform?

I agree, it's unusual in that it's a newish way to meet people.
But I think it is probably as likely as actually being good friends with working colleagues. Possible but not frequent once that thing in common is gone.
Certainly online you miss the physical presence of the other person - pheramones, personal ticks and all that!
I would just say that a working farm is not suitable for children and leave it at that.

But go with your instincts, after 6 years you will / should have a good idea of who she is. But I'm afraid this will likely end your friendship. TRy to work out why you dont want to meet her. That's the interesting thing.

You do not want to accede to this woman's request: so don't!

It is as simple as that.

Simply reply that yours is a working farm, not one geared to having visitors, and your insurance does not cover any accidents that might occur if children or adults are near your livestock or machinery.

So, you are sorry, but there is no way you can accede to her suggestion.

Make it very clear that no means no.

I would keep anyone who invited themselves to my place for a holiday without being invited a very wide berth anyway. They have a personality I do not like, and I would not dream of doing it.

Your 'friend' is in dreamland and has not thought it through, apart from not appreciating the practicalities of her fanciful suggestions or even taken your feelings into account. Not even considering your husband!

I met a 'friend' on the internet [chatting on phone, messaging online/texts for nearly 2 years] who, when we met, in real life was a fantasist, had her own [odd] agenda and wanted life on her terms. People can be good friends and supportive at a distance but it often doesn't translate in real life. Lesson learnt here.

I do see the attraction for her to bring the grandkids somewhere for a holiday where they can let off steam without upsetting other people.
But the insurance puts paid to that idea, they couldn't even climb trees without us being liable, also cows and sheep can't be hugged even if you could catch one, and dogs and pigs bite! And the machinery is huge.
A meeting between the two of us for a coffee or lunch sounds better.
Disregard the 'good friends' remark I wasn't thinking when I wrote it.

But I still feel uncomfortable for some reason.

It sounds like you’re uncomfortable with meeting at all if you’ve avoided it for 6 years. You also say you’d be inviting them around for meals if they came. Perhaps you’re worried that you’re too accommodating and this lady and family would take advantage of that? You should follow your intuition, you lead a busy life so keeping it an online friendship seems perfectly reasonable. If she’s not happy with that it’s her choice what to do next.

Please use correct terminology, it's not downs children(classed so much wrong nowadays) , please say children with downs.....
I'm not being pinickity just hate seeing people using dated terminology

If you don't mind me asking, how did you become friends with this woman on Facebook, Ex-Dancer?
Are you both members of a group eg craft group, painting group etc?

“But I still feel uncomfortable for some reason”…….. but why do you feel uncomfortable? Is it because you agree with all comments on here or do you now suspect that there’s a hidden agenda? Either way, just don’t allow the visit……..sorted!

Go with your gut feeling! Just say not a suitable environment for children as it's a working farm,Health and Safety....insurance...etc. I actually think it's quite an imposition on her part...Is there a campsite nearby? You could suggest they park there van up there and maybe meet her for a coffee,lunch or something. Good luck.

Kamj

Please use correct terminology, it's not downs children(classed so much wrong nowadays) , please say children with downs.....
I'm not being pinickity just hate seeing people using dated terminology

It’s Down Syndrome …

Kami...what a rude unhelpful reply and you are being pernickety and nit picking

Yes Colls but with online 'friends' we have no idea if they're even who they say they are.

AuntieE
Simply reply that yours is a working farm, not one geared to having visitors, and your insurance does not cover any accidents that might occur if children or adults are near your livestock or machinery.

I fully agree with the above but I see no reason why you shouldn’t agree to meet up somewhere public. I doubt very much if the person is not who they say they are, six years is a long time to keep up a pretence without you noticing something.
Just say it would be lovely to meet her at last but you cannot accommodate them for the reasons given.
If she makes excuses then you know where you stand.

I think you should avoid that one, sounds as if she's using you for free holiday space.

Just say NO ...

Yes but you say children with DS not DS children

Mojack26

Kami...what a rude unhelpful reply and you are being pernickety and nit picking

When you have children in your family with DS you'll realise how wrong it is to say downs children

I understand this. Meeting someone that you have only known online, is like someone from a parallel universe bursting into your real life. It can burst that relationship bubble.

Have you ever read a book and feel like you know the characters intimately, but then they make a film or drama and the people playing the roles are not at all what you imagined? It’s very similar to this. And even if you have photo’s - it still doesn't prepare you for the real person. Once you’ve met, you can't go back.

You do not need to give excuses about insurances etc. You just need to tell her that you really the value the friendship and don't want to do anything that might jeopardise it. You don't want to lose her, and hope she understands that you just want things to continue as they are.

She either accepts that or not. Good luck

Meet up, by all means, but DEFINITELY not like this! The mere fact she suggests it puts a question mark over her. You've checked with your insurance and they've said 'No way' -end of.